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  1. #11
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Hmmm I see. I would resort to the time-honored technique of asking the other person questions about themselves; that should provide you with a bit of distraction time and show your interest in them as a person. Which may offset what you perceive as your cold demeanor.

  2. #12
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Don't worry about that, INTJs tend to be turtles anyways emotionally, pacing the process automatically. Just be you, you do fine that way.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #13
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Don't worry about that, INTJs tend to be turtles anyways emotionally, pacing the process automatically. Just be you, you do fine that way.
    I know that I have to be me, otherwise I have nothing.
    However I thnk that I could be wise to control my "sense of humor" at the beginning when it comes to NFs.

  4. #14
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    How do you pick emotions of other people ?


    In theory this is something in what NFs are suppose to be great at. So I am wondering how this works. Do you understand what the person is feeling right away? (like you should in online tests)
    Or it is more likely that you will slowly have to figure it out through a body language/voice or somethinng like that ?

    I am wondering if you try to determine this piece of information by "default" or it taks a conscious action to do this ? (or it depends)



    Also if someone asks you how many emotions do you recognize what would you say as an answer ?



    The reason why I am asking is because I am wondering about how to have a better dinamic with NFs in real life.
    With my close friends and family, all it takes is hearing their voice on the other end of the phone to pick up on how they are feeling. With strangers, just a few conversations can get me into the groove of the person's disposition, and I can strongly read any emotional deviations. Some people are easier to read than others. It's harder for me to read people in person.

    I don't try to determine how someone is feeling intentionally. Many times, I'd rather not know. No matter how brief the feeling, some people harbor very intense, negative, or anxious, emotions that have the effect of making me feel horribly uneasy.

    If someone's emotions become too much for me, I will unplug somehow. It's a little disturbing to me if I can feel someone's negative vibes but I can't place the reason for them, so usually go back for more.

    I don't necessarily trust my intuition about people though. I'd prefer things spelled out for me.

  5. #15
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I know that I have to be me, otherwise I have nothing.
    However I thnk that I could be wise to control my "sense of humor" at the beginning when it comes to NFs.
    True
    Show her what you are like first, so she has the context of your personality to relate to your jokes
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #16
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    True
    Show her what you are like first, so she has the context of your personality to relate to your jokes
    What exactly means " Show her what you are like first" ?

  7. #17
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    What exactly means " Show her what you are like first" ?
    It's where you share what you like, dislike, what you seek in life, how you view the world (in small doses!), what you hold dear. Then you find out the same about her, seek common ground, and once found you go deeper in on that, as it promotes building a connection. If you then joke, and the joke is a bit crude, she'll know that a) you don't mean it that way and know exactly how you do feel about it and b) she'll be able to appreciate the joke better as she has the inside info on what that comment really means to you.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  8. #18
    THREADKILLER Prototype's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    1. Body language
    2. Tone of voice
    3. Words being used
    4. Previous experience with the person and their reactions
    5. Previous experience with someone similar and the other person's reactions compared.
    ^... I know this is part of body language, but an individuals eyes can tell you a lot too!... Eye contact is a must for me, everything else falls into place after that.
    ... They say that knowledge is free, and to truly acquire wisdom always comes with a price... Well then,... That will be $10, please!

  9. #19
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    However I thnk that I could be wise to control my "sense of humor" at the beginning when it comes to NFs.
    That's like trying to control your bladder. Painful, exhausting and you'll eventually explode.

    IME, NFs can appriciate the NTJ sense of humor. I get the sense they admire it, in some way. SFs are a different story, though. Careful with that.

    I like to hit'em hard. If they say something funny, I react like I'd normally react, see what happens. If they can't handle my sense of humor, how fun is it going to be for me to date them, if I can't ever express joy the way I naturally do? Controlling your sense of humor, would lead them on under false pretenses, a bit. And how do you know they won't love you sense of humor? Maybe that's what makes you separate from other men? If you control your sense of humor, maybe that becomes you fall. But if they end up hating your sense of humor, at least you were true to yourself which makes it easier to live with failure.

    Edit: I just realized I'm an Extrovert and when I perceive someone as friendly and a decent human being, I have a hard time holding back bits of myself. And if I like that person, boy, somebody sedate me.

  10. #20
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happyman View Post
    Wow, that's interesting! I mean really, because that's absolutely not the way it happens with me. I barely look at things like that. It just hits me, must be some unconscious process. (Did I understand you properly, you look for these consciously? Must be Fe/Ne difference ).
    No, I don't have to look conciously although I do analyze conciously. Someone once told me "you are the only person that doesn't know why they feel things" because I analyze motives and they didn't get it.

    I was trying to be concrete for him, since I thought that the flitting around with metaphors might be a bit too NF for him.

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