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  1. #11
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Your friend said:

    "It's sooo bad that you hate me, Fuzz. People are constantly going around now saying, 'We'd better pray for the prayer team, Bee and Fuzz are at it again," (we co-lead the prayer team for our church)."
    This is exactly the kind of partly-serious, mostly-joke statements I usually make when I'm probing for how a friend feels about things.

    She probably said it with a warm smile and/or tone of voice, right?

    It's a way of opening up the possibility of a deep conversation without overwhelming the other person.

    Like dipping your toe in the pool to see how the temperature is, that's all.

    She was probably trying to gauge how you felt, and how willing you were, at the moment, to talk about it.

    And out of respect for you, she would moderate it according to your perceived level of comfort.


    Of course, this is only a guess. I really don't know for sure.

    It sounds incredibly familiar to me, though.
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  2. #12
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Be direct, Fuzzy! Just be direct!

    Her: [blah blah silly endearing ENFP stuff here]

    You: Woman! Dems feelins' for me or wut?!

    [Lots of yeti hugs]
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #13
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I'd say she's probing you coz she's confused by the emotional gap. It's kinda like rocking the boat a bit. It can be done for fun, but it can also yield results. Awesome combo.
    She can probably *feel* you're warmer naturally than you are with her and is probing why you're holding back, while trying to tease you out of your shell.

    Personally, I love close, informal, fuzzy connections and when someone keeps me at an arms length, it makes me curious as to why..and somewhat sad
    I doubt she consciously realizes that you are in fact doing this because of her statements. Dunno about her having feelings for you..I'd say she's more intrigued than infatuated.
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #14
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I'd say she's probing you coz she's confused by the emotional gap. It's kinda like rocking the boat a bit. It can be done for fun, but it can also yield results. Awesome combo.
    She can probably *feel* you're warmer naturally than you are with her and is probing why you're holding back, while trying to tease you out of your shell.

    Personally, I love close, informal, fuzzy connections and when someone keeps me at an arms length, it makes me curious as to why..and somewhat sad
    I doubt she consciously realizes that you are in fact doing this because of her statements. Dunno about her having feelings for you..I'd say she's more intrigued than infatuated.
    This sounds perfectly accurate, Amargath. I think you've hit it on the head.
    Love is the point.

  5. #15
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post

    It's kinda like rocking the boat a bit. It can be done for fun, but it can also yield results. Awesome combo.
    Yeah, this.

    I do it all the time, with people who "get" it.

    Not everyone does get it, but you seem to.

    I think that's why she's doing it with you.

    To "get" it means to understand that it's partly a game, and partly to yield results---and to enjoy the process, although you may be slightly confused by it.

    It sounds like that's where you're at now, right Fuzzcrossed?

    Slightly confused, but enjoying it?

    I think it will become clearer if you keep riding it out.
    __________________


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    IT'S BEEN FUN.

    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


  6. #16
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    She can probably *feel* you're warmer naturally than you are with her and is probing why you're holding back, while trying to tease you out of your shell.

    Personally, I love close, informal, fuzzy connections and when someone keeps me at an arms length, it makes me curious as to why..and somewhat sad
    I doubt she consciously realizes that you are in fact doing this because of her statements. Dunno about her having feelings for you..I'd say she's more intrigued than infatuated.
    Agreed; I didn't sense a romantic vibe, but definitely she wants to understand you better, get to know you better. She may sense something of a kindred spirit in you.

  7. #17
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    I do often say a lot of things that aren't necessary but might be good to say out of interest, but also to see other people's reactions to it. Not to say most of the stuff coming out of my mouth is to illustrate a thoughtful response or certain reaction, but some do.

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