Phoenix, I wasn't offended by what you wrote. I had to get over that a good while ago. Honesty, is encouraged, but don't be surprised when people fire back.
Here's that other thread I was talking about with the same practically the same title: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ght=exhausting Maybe there are pointers in that thread you may find helpful, although I'm pretty sure my commentary was pretty much the same. But I also want to say, you just joined within the last week. Do a search with ENFJ in the title and you'll see the tone of most of the threads. They are mostly complaints. Do a search with ENFP or ENTP in the title and you'll find a broader spectrum of topics. Some of the ENFJ members that have been here for a while have said one of the reasons why they don't comment or participate as much is the tone: typically overbearing, bossy, and completely irrational and illogical. The bulk of threads about ENFJs don't even have mostly ENFJs commenting on them. So, it's not about not being able to take your lumps gracefully, it's like getting continuously pelted with stones and being required to stand up and yell "I'm OK!" Every type, every person has legitimate improvement points and I'm not denying that or trying to gloss over it.
If I wasn't clear, I was saying that thing which you find exhausting seems to be quite common among ENFJs, or more broadly ExFx. You've been a good sport in handling your ENFJ friends. If they are overexhausting you then reduce contact. If you find them insensitive then either communicate that to them or once again, reduce contact with them. Honestly, I'd just stop hanging out with them together as much. I've done that with my lower-activity level friends and I still consider them friends, we just don't hang out in person but every once in a while. Aside from either talking to them about the problems or reducing contact, what more can be done?