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  1. #21
    Senior Member Happyman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_400 View Post
    The ribbing can get personal sometimes, no harm or anything, just givin' each other hell like friends do. The thing is, I try to pay attention to things like facial expression, body language, tone of voice. If it looks like I've pushed too far, I try to pull back. I'm not really getting the same courtesy. They find a hole and dig, I do the same. It looks like I hit a sore spot, I stop. They find a sore spot, efforts are doubled.
    All right, that's a bit different. I thought they just keep really high energy level, which you don't feel comfortable with.
    I play this game a lot with my ESTJ cousin and yeah, it can really be hard. I've learnt to like it though, it makes you confront your own insecurities. It may be super hard too, I know.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_400 View Post
    "I hit a sore spot, I stop. They find a sore spot, efforts are doubled."
    If you want to end this you should do the same, I mean if they poke the sore spot, you should get back poking theirs. It should make them stop.
    I think they treat it like a game. And: do not show them, when they've hit the sore spot! It's like pretending: no, it didn't hurt.
    That's a rough game, but boys play it. All extroverts, I'd say. To be honest at the beginning I didn't like it too much either. It was the ETxx guys game.

    I hope this helps! Tell us later.
    "Act as though it was impossible to fail."
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    I started a real blog!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_400 View Post
    So, anybody know where I can pick up some emotional creatine? Damn ENFJ's are too easy to forgive and I can't stand seeing all that happy trampled on. As much as it makes me nauseous, there really isn't enough of it in the world.

    Also, Goatman, just dawned on me the similarities in our usernames. Mine comes from the graphic on the hood of my car and the displacement of the beast lying beneath it.


    Oh, nice! You have a Firebird huh? What year? Hey question unrelated to this about carbs. Mine is running too lean at the moment. I am getting serious pinging, and recommendations on carbs? I currently have a quadra jet 750cfm, but it really is just way to lean. I also get a nasty stumble when I punch it real quick that I think is due to the secondaries. I had this problem with my old carb which was too rich.

    Or is the stumble just due to the fact the primaries are not tuned right?

  3. #23
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    Sorry, double post.

  4. #24
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Just be happy they are not ESFJ's. It always can be worse, trust me on this one as a fellow INTP.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Phoenix_400's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatman455 View Post
    You can't kill a car, it isn't alive, LoL.
    You haven't met my TransAm. Cursed by the gods, Possessed by demons, and Powered off the souls of its victims. Me and that monster have been taking turns trying to kill each other for over 10 years.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    Haha, the way you describe your two ENFJ friends when they get together is exactly how people must feel when me and my ESFP friend get together. We're at each other non-stop and we feed off each other. Even the ENFJ who's best friends with the ESFP gets quiet (I think that's the ONLY time she's ever like that, lol)...

    I know I have some other friends who get like that. I just let them do their thing and enjoy when I can talk to them one on one. Actually I really love the ENFJ's who talk a lot because they keep my talking and listening skills sharp.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  7. #27
    Senior Member Phoenix_400's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatman455 View Post
    Oh, nice! You have a Firebird huh? What year? Hey question unrelated to this about carbs. Mine is running too lean at the moment. I am getting serious pinging, and recommendations on carbs? I currently have a quadra jet 750cfm, but it really is just way to lean. I also get a nasty stumble when I punch it real quick that I think is due to the secondaries. I had this problem with my old carb which was too rich.

    Or is the stumble just due to the fact the primaries are not tuned right?
    Its a 78 Smokey and the Bandit, early production year with the hurst hatches (mid-year change to the fisher tops).

    Depending on the mods to the motor you might want to step up to an 850, a Holley or a Demon, and jet it down some. I've got a holley 3310 on my 400. Used to have an edelbrock 750, but it just killed it off the line. Got an extra 4mpg with that one on though.

    The ol' quadrajunk is really a great carb. Go over to the performanceyears forums and do a search for it. There's a guy on there that all the poncho guys recommend using when rebuilding a quadra for performance. Guy has some cars running deep in the 10's with those carbs and better mileage than a holley. If it was me, I'd get in touch with him and run through your whole combo, then let him work his magic.

  8. #28
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Phoenix - for what it's worth, I think I get what you're trying to say. I've seen ENFJ's capacitate off one another, and it's an incredible amount of energy they produce. They can be HILARIOUS and engaging, but I think I understand about you feeling overwhelmed. Regardless of MBTI type, if they're saying things to you that are rubbing you the wrong way, you need to say so. It's not longer fun or enjoyable if your friends are torturing to be around, you know? Just let them know how it's making you feel. Good friends tell one another when something's going wrong, and if they love and appreciate you, they should throw the brakes on the jabbing.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Phoenix_400's Avatar
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    I'm going to take some time to brood over the points made so far. You've all definitely given me things to consider. Sorry for stirring up a hornets nest with some of you folks. It wasn't my intention, I swear. Again, I appreciate the help. Keep it coming, the more perspectives I can get, the better.

    So far, I'm not sure I like the idea of turning it back at them. Effective maybe, but more stressful than what seems necessary. I'll probably have a talk with them, but with the one I'm closest with first.

    The killer in this is, I've seen the duality in them. The one I'm closer friends with is very loud and self-confident in social settings. At home though, or when the social setting is at their home, they stress so much over everybody else having fun they don't have fun themselves. Its something you really have to pay attention to to catch though. So, I don't like stressing them out needlessly and actually do my best to help them relax.

    Case in point:
    A few of us are hanging out, myself, the 2 ENFJs and another, and things are kind of tense. I felt the need to lighten things up and I know they'll never fail to take an opening, so I created a few openings and let them have at it. It really broke the tension and we all started having a good time.

    Problem was the next day they wanted to keep digging on it. I told them, "Alright, thats enough. We had great fun with this yesterday, but can we get off this?" They said something, can't remember what and I responded with "You do realize I did most of that intentionally last night cause I knew you guys would run with it, you did get me on a few I didn't see comin' though." The reply I get: a pat on the cheek and "Whatever you tell yourself to make you feel better"

    I didn't know whether to be insulted or hit the ground laughing. You guys can be pretty cute when you're clueless

  10. #30
    Senior Member Yloh's Avatar
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    Well being an ENFJ myself, I think I can give you some pointers. First of all, I think I understand this whole snowball effect that these people are creating around you. This snowball you are creating is causing you problems. Ok, now captain obvious is done.

    What I do in a situation like this is make some time to talk to them one on one. Talk to each of them in private and truly let them know how you feel from the bottom of your heart. Let them know that you do not appreciate this kind of behavior. Let them know that it is not in your best interest to hurt them, but to build them.

    One thing I've learned in my life is honesty IS the best policy. The longer this goes on with out anything being done, the harder it will become to break this cycle. The truth hurts, and I've experienced this first hand.

    I use to do things that bothered others, and some of them actually had the guts to talk to me one on one about them. At first, I was offended because I was immature. Later on, I realized that those people truly cared for me because they were willing to break me down and help me rebuild myself into a stronger person. Also, a person truly cares when they are willing to hurt you a little in order to help you mature as a person. Today, I love hearing constructive criticism. It still hurts me, but I appreciate it now.

    Sometimes a person can be really thickheaded and not truly understand what you are trying to say. It can also be hard when you having a hard time pointing out examples of their problematic behavior. If they can't change their ways when you tell them one on one, you will have to take the next step and point out their actions on the spot. When their snowballing effect is beginning, and only after you have talked to them both on an individual basis, point them out. You can try breaking it up saying you need to talk with them alone, but it may not be that easy. You just might have to say "Listen guys/girls THIS is what I've been talking about, THIS is what needs to STOP."

    Again I would try doing things soft at first, but if that doesn't work, you will need to be firm. Sometimes a person just doesn't get it unless you are firm. Let your "No" mean "No". If you say "I can't hang out with you both if you continue this", then you have to mean it. In the worst case scenario, it might just take you not hanging out with them together to make them realize the error of their ways.

    If they get offended and blow you off, that is THEIR problem not yours. Maturing is a very difficult thing to accomplish in life and hurt is a part of maturing. Like the statement "No pain no gain", it is true with our emotional selves as well. By breaking down our weaker selves, we can build a stronger house to hold our soul in. This house is the house of maturity which our soul dwells.

    I truly hopes this can help you out some. Also, I hope I'm making sense as I can go on and on when I get started. Everybody else's advise looked good to me, so I don't know if I added anything new, but I just wanted to give you my two cent.

    Anyways, I truly hope things can work out with you guys/girls.
    Last edited by Yloh; 09-22-2009 at 05:20 PM.

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