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  1. #11
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatman455 View Post
    Guys, seriously stop, and Protean, being a mod, you should be more mature about this.

    "Thanks for diagnosing The ENFJ Psychopathology."

    You guys do this all on your own, I can't take any credit here, lol.



    Oh, and I am not sure about thimbles full of Pontiac GTOs, but I will get back to YOU with a serious response at some point in my ever so important life.


    This is the very reason so few ENFJs ever change their behavior, they just ATTACK AND GUILT TRIP people who are HONEST with them.
    Do you have a practice?

    Srlsly, I think someone literally started a thread like this before with the exact same title. I think I was quite somber in response in that one.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #12
    Senior Member Happyman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_400 View Post
    I've got 2 ENFJ friends that I hang out with. I can handle either of them alone and have a great time. Problem is, when you get the 2 of them together I forget how much they feed off of each other.
    Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
    Deal with it!
    Kidding No, but seriously, they have awesome time, going crazy together, so I don't think they will want to change it. In high school I hang out a lot with two guys: an INTP and an ENTJ. Every time me and ENTJ went wild, the INTP was acting&feeling like you. Usually I was the one realizing this. With time we were doing it less and he learned how to go crazy a little bit.

    Btw, you say you love them, when they're apart, it probably means they adopt to what you like, you can try this when they're together.

    Well, I don't know. Talk with them. The last thing ENFJ wants to do is to hurt somebody.

    PS I love INTPs, for instance my brother is one. I act differently around him and my INxx friends than with my crazy ExFP friends, so they MAY CHANGE a bit too.

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Answer: Red Bull and Vodka! Stamina, people. Stamina.

    That may do.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Joy. More "ENFJs are Too Much" threads.
    I'm thinking about starting one myself. Ultimate self-hate thread!

    I'll make numerous confessions:
    Dear fellow forumers, I got excited today, went over the top and get someone insecure. Pray for me, I've sinned!

    Quote Originally Posted by Goatman455 View Post
    Yeah, ENFJs can mean well but also generally have this thing that I believe roots from insecurity where there ego just takes over. They just start trying to act a certain way, and it comes across as very arrogant, it can be very annoying.
    Man, one of us have done something to you. As a spokesman for ENFJ community I sincerely apologize.
    Besides, I think my ENFP friends go often way further in 'crazy' direction than I do. Which I love, but many Is don't.
    "Act as though it was impossible to fail."
    Dorothea Brande

    I started a real blog!

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happyman View Post
    Deal with it!
    Kidding No, but seriously, they have awesome time, going crazy together, so I don't think they will want to change it. In high school I hang out a lot with two guys: an INTP and an ENTJ. Every time me and ENTJ went wild, the INTP was acting&feeling like you. Usually I was the one realizing this. With time we were doing it less and he learned how to go crazy a little bit.

    Btw, you say you love them, when they're apart, it probably means they adopt to what you like, you can try this when they're together.

    Well, I don't know. Talk with them. The last thing ENFJ wants to do is to hurt somebody.

    PS I love INTPs, for instance my brother is one. I act differently around him and my INxx friends than with my crazy ExFP friends, so they MAY CHANGE a bit too.




    That may do.



    I'm thinking about starting one myself. Ultimate self-hate thread!

    I'll make numerous confessions:
    Dear fellow forumers, I got excited today, went over the top and get someone insecure. Pray for me, I've sinned!



    Man, one of us have done something to you. As a spokesman for ENFJ community I sincerely apologize.
    Besides, I think my ENFP friends go often way further in 'crazy' direction than I do. Which I love, but many Is don't.


    Again, I get personally criticized, look it is not just me making these observations, an ENTJ friend of mine makes the EXACT same observations about ENFJs.


    Everything I have said about you guys you prove right when you post.

    Let's stop attacking each other and help the guy. Oh, and "deal with it" is not an ok response. This sounds like denial to me, the ENFJs (that the OP are talking about) are in the wrong and they should stop here.

    I think it is a bit ridiculous you tell him to "deal with it", but then act like I have to change because I am being honest. Take your own advice.
    Last edited by Goatman455; 09-24-2009 at 01:26 PM.

  4. #14
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    To the OP, I say just tell them that you can't deal with them together. It may hurt their feelings, but that's not really anything you can prevent.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Phoenix_400's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatman455 View Post
    Truly lastly, if I could ask, what are they doing?
    Its not anything terrible really. We banter like crazy. Its very exciting for me to find people who can best me consistently in a battle of wits. Its that, more than the endless enthusiasm that's the draw for me. We never fail to take advantage of an opening.

    The ribbing can get personal sometimes, no harm or anything, just givin' each other hell like friends do. The thing is, I try to pay attention to things like facial expression, body language, tone of voice. If it looks like I've pushed too far, I try to pull back. I'm not really getting the same courtesy. They find a hole and dig, I do the same. It looks like I hit a sore spot, I stop. They find a sore spot, efforts are doubled.

    A lot of the problem is probably my fault. I have to remind myself they're just playing when they really dig in. I can tell its not intentionally malicious. I just clam up and look irked off for a while. I know I should tell them that it bothers me, but I truly enjoy the challenge they give me and I don't want them to start handling me with kid gloves. Just....pay more attention.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_400 View Post
    Its not anything terrible really. We banter like crazy. Its very exciting for me to find people who can best me consistently in a battle of wits. Its that, more than the endless enthusiasm that's the draw for me. We never fail to take advantage of an opening.

    The ribbing can get personal sometimes, no harm or anything, just givin' each other hell like friends do. The thing is, I try to pay attention to things like facial expression, body language, tone of voice. If it looks like I've pushed too far, I try to pull back. I'm not really getting the same courtesy. They find a hole and dig, I do the same. It looks like I hit a sore spot, I stop. They find a sore spot, efforts are doubled.

    A lot of the problem is probably my fault. I have to remind myself they're just playing when they really dig in. I can tell its not intentionally malicious. I just clam up and look irked off for a while. I know I should tell them that it bothers me, but I truly enjoy the challenge they give me and I don't want them to start handling me with kid gloves. Just....pay more attention.
    ENFJs can really enjoy pushing buttons. It is their way to reverse the buttons being pushed in them and to ignore their own annoyance. When they do this, you must have them pretty good.

    My suggestion is, after you have a direct conversation if they keep doing it. Once you find that hole, don't let up. Let them get mad, throw a temper tantrum, threaten you, anything. Keep digging, once you find that weakness push them back in it.

    Again, this sounds bad, but some people need to actually feel something before they can empathize, they can't naturally just make the leap on their own. If they understood what you really felt like, or saw how far you were willing to take it, they will understand better.

    ENFJs understand better from action than words many times, you may need to use your actions to make them realize if your words don't work. By actions, I of course mean to find that weakness and push. This is a way of accomplishing actions with words, because you have a purpose behind what you are doing.

    That said, I advocate using words first in a direct manner, because you can give them the chance to do things in a mature fashion. But if that doesn't work, why not give them a taste of their own medicine?

  7. #17
    Senior Member Phoenix_400's Avatar
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    Alright guys, I wasn't trying to start a war with this thread. Just looking for some advice from people with the same mindset as my friends. I think the world of them, I just don't know how to handle people sometimes.

    The personal attacks are really unnecessary.

    Also, Redbull and vodka are not option. Vodka is my kryptonite...Besides, Jack and Coke will always be my first love

  8. #18
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    What about goats?
    Oh, it'll kill a goat. Several times over.

    Phoenix: You're good. Seriously, I understand that Uber-Fe can be overpowering...please forgive your friends...I agree that more Iron (Fe) is in order. In saying that, I'm also aware that around you amazing people, I could use more Titanium (Ti). It hurts, but it's worth the absorbtion: remember, you don't have to chose Fe, just be aware of the choice, and that your friends have a preference for it.
    Love is the point.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    Oh, it'll kill a goat. Several times over.

    Phoenix: You're good. Seriously, I understand that Uber-Fe can be overpowering...please forgive your friends...I agree that more Iron (Fe) is in order. In saying that, I'm also aware that around you amazing people, I could use more Titanium (Ti). It hurts, but it's worth the absorbtion: remember, you don't have to chose Fe, just be aware of the choice, and that your friends have a preference for it.


    You can't kill a car, it isn't alive, LoL.


    Emotional Stamina wins the day with ENFJ.


    Here in this post lie the weaknesses of the F types.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Phoenix_400's Avatar
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    So, anybody know where I can pick up some emotional creatine? Damn ENFJ's are too easy to forgive and I can't stand seeing all that happy trampled on. As much as it makes me nauseous, there really isn't enough of it in the world.

    Also, Goatman, just dawned on me the similarities in our usernames. Mine comes from the graphic on the hood of my car and the displacement of the beast lying beneath it.

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