[MBTI General] What do other types think of INFP's

[luminous beam]

What are you offering?

cookies anyone? ...or this haha

 

[Oaky]

Note to self- Next time I talk to Ragingkatsuki I should ramble on about morality and how he is feeling.

Why would you do that? I find you very interesting to talk to. You have a very balanced mind and you understand exactly how to deal with others. Plus you don't run me over with feelings.

stop enduring it! you're doing it as we speak lol rather than stick around and face their "wrath," it's prob best to drop it and not look behind. by being here you are doing what you say you detest, which is hang around INFPs who are whining and bitching and getting you involved and close.

Not really. The INFPs here haven't opened themselves to me which gives us a more healthy discussion (although I doubt it's healthy at all)

Do I understand it? Yes, or course I do. Do I agree or empathize? Not in the least.

Are you just continuing my quote or talking about your reaction to my post?

 

[runvardh]

cookies anyone? ...or this haha

Just being bad kitty...

 

[BlackCat]

Why would you do that? I find you very interesting to talk to. You have a very balanced mind and you understand exactly how to deal with others. Plus you don't run me over with feelings.

I am purposefully making you mad! My feelings so so SOOOO matter in a conversation, you must accommodate!

But thanks.

 

[Jaguar]

How does what feel?

How does it feel to have done to you, what you are doing to others.
That's what the person meant.

You can't write "blah blah bah, you don't even know me,"
and then turn around and poke an INFP in the eye, who you do not even know.

You leave yourself wide open for someone to call you a hypocrite.
And we know Ts "should" value fairness, right?

 

[cascadeco]

It's possible that some people are typing ISFXs or INFJs as INFPs because of the whining stereotype. But I also see a pattern of negative trait denial with INFPs. Anytime anything negative is said, even if it's a typical, by-the-book INFP weak spot, it either gets sequestered off into the corner with those "unhealthy" INFPs, or blamed on mistyping. Every INFP is apparently an exception to the rule (e.g., "but I never foist my emotions on other people like all those other INFPs." Or, "huh, I never take criticism that badly, I must be one of the more healthy INFPs.") Not to say that it isn't true in any individual case. It's just a pattern I notice with INFPs. They seem to bristle defensively whenever negative characteristics of the type are mentioned.

Yeah, I know, I know, this thread has died a slow death and isn't of much use anymore, but I'm gonna chime in again.

I think this is true. While most types are going to get defensive when weaknesses/negative traits are brought up (and will get defensive in different ways, as Elaur pointed out in one of her posts), I do definitely notice a trend with INFP's.

Now I'm not saying being sensitive is a 'bad' trait, as heaven knows I'm pretty sensitive myself, but INFP's seem to be really, really sensitive, and often it appears they take even constructive, relatively benign, feedback in an overly personal way. Certainly it may be understandable, given the way some people communicate, but it does seem to be a trend. I think other types are able to detach (for lack of a better word) better and view critique as more of a constructive thing - not implying the thing being critiqued is inherently bad, it just might be more palatable if honed a bit more, or said trait might be more 'powerful', positive, and useful if wielded/focused in a different way.

So...hmm...another aspect of this I notice is that Fi-doms seem to have a harder time accepting the fact that there are many equally valid, non-Fi-dom, perspectives out there, and just because one individual doesn't particularly value Fi as a primary means of interpreting/navigating through the world, doesn't mean that person thinks Fi, or the Fi-dom person, is 'bad' or wrong. It's not personal, it's just a different perspective.

One other thing I've noticed, and I have no doubt this will be taken the wrong way. I think sometimes Fi-doms tend to come across as feeling Fi is the uber-function, the function that is the awesomest of all functions. (I chatted with a friend on here a while back about this phenomena, and she laughed and said it's perhaps analagous to Ti-dom's thinking Ti is the uber-function ) To be honest, that comes across a little...silly. What about the other 7 functions? Are they not equally valid/awesome in their own way? I just haven't recognized this phenomena *as much* amongst the other dominant function users - i.e. Se, Ne, Ni, Fe, Te....

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Pipe down, INFPs. Let the non-INFPs speak.

 

[Laurie]

Pipe down, INFPs. Let the non-INFPs speak.

Isn't this the "What do INFPs think of what other types think of INFP's" thread?

 

[OrangeAppled]

I think the reason for the defensiveness is that the implication is that INFP are ok *until* you get close to them and once you do they suck. Isn't that the fear of the "deeper" personality types that don't open up to everyone?

But it says outloud a fear INFPs actually have. "Once I get to know you I don't like you"

This is THE fear that many INFPs harbor, as evidenced by endless postings of such on INFPgc. This is why INFPs may become withdrawn, keep a wall up, hardly talk, never call people, etc.

If an INFP is close enough to you to whine at all, that's kind of a compliment. On the other hand, if they knew you look down on them for it, they'd probably be mortified and disappear from your life forever. Quite honestly, sometimes I test people. Can you handle the darker side? No? Goodbye! :hi:. I will never be close to someone with whom I cannot open up completely. Since people are always confiding to me in person (complete strangers even), I feel it's only fair I am allowed to vent sometimes and be vulnerable.

 

[Amargith]

This is THE fear that many INFPs harbor, as evidenced by endless postings of such on INFPgc. This is why INFPs may become withdrawn, keep a wall up, hardly talk, never call people, etc.

If an INFP is close enough to you to whine at all, that's kind of a compliment. On the other hand, if they knew you look down on them for it, they'd probably be mortified and disappear from your life forever. Quite honestly, sometimes I test people. Can you handle the darker side? No? Goodbye! :hi:. I will never be close to someone with whom I cannot open up completely. Since people are always confiding to me in person (complete strangers even), I feel it's only fair I am allowed to vent sometimes and be vulnerable.

+ fucking 1

But on the other hand, I don't resent those people that cannot handle it, or blame them for it. It's who they are, their preference, their choice. As long as they don't come and whine afterwards that I don't let them in, I'm fine with them not handling it well.

 

[Salt n' pepper]

IME, INFPs, like the INTP, get stuck in a rut a lot. I get the sense that they get overwhelmed a lot and feels unhappy with their situation. Many INFPs I've talked to have also experienced outer pressure of changing themselves, feeling different and not fitting in. Do you relate?

 

[Oaky]

I am purposefully making you mad! My feelings so so SOOOO matter in a conversation, you must accommodate!

But thanks.

It's easy to start arguing with me. It's hard to piss me off.

How does it feel to have done to you, what you are doing to others.
That's what the person meant.

You can't write "blah blah bah, you don't even know me,"
and then turn around and poke an INFP in the eye, who you do not even know.

You leave yourself wide open for someone to call you a hypocrite.
And we know Ts "should" value fairness, right?

I was not trying to insult the INFPs in this thread (but one so tempted me to do so). I was giving my opinion based on my experience and trying to justify my points based on that experience. They have brought it upon themselves to start judging me based on my opinions.

 

[Liminality]

Yeah, we tend to take any sort of criticism really badly, even non criticism -_-. It's the sort of thing you know is stupid, and irrational, and kind've neurotic, but...

Extream example: It's like if you live in a world where really terrible child abuse is normal, but on the inside, you still react like you would in this one.

I think it's about having a harsh inner critic, and if the person you feel is the only good part of you gets put down, it's kind've soul destroying. Not exactly, but...that sort've idea. You then worry that every even remotely bad thing ever said about you is true. Kind've a victim complex...That's my interpretation anyway.

EDIT: I don't want to dissuade people from honesty in the slightest, quite the opposite, just trying to kinda give an insight to the stupid amounts of sensitive.

 

[runvardh]

IME, INFPs, like the INTP, get stuck in a rut a lot. I get the sense that they get overwhelmed a lot and feels unhappy with their situation. Many INFPs I've talked to have also experienced outer pressure of changing themselves, feeling different and not fitting in. Do you relate?

Too often. It's like damned if I do, damned if I don't. Almost like I need to truely kill something inside to move forward or nothing happens, and it hurts when I do. I'm thinking it's just something I have to deal with though, as the pain won't end till I finally die.

Edit: In a way I'm kind of thankful for the pain though. It helps me make damn sure I'm making the right move before I make it. With out the pain I'm not sure I could make as many good decisions as I have. As irrational as that may sound...

Edit2: I suppose it also reminds me that I'm alive.

 

[Salt n' pepper]

Too often. It's like damned if I do, damned if I don't. Almost like I need to truely kill something inside to move forward or nothing happens, and it hurts when I do. I'm thinking it's just something I have to deal with though, as the pain won't end till I finally die.

Funny you should say this. I'm talking to my INFP friend on IM. I asked what she was doing, and she said she was writing a list of things that bug her so she can easier address them. Then she started saying she's not structured enough or organized enough and that she think it's hard that she hasn't developed these traits yet. She's 23. Then she said something about that she didn't feel like she was living her own life, rather that she was living someone else's life. I get the sense that her family's constantly trying to change and mold her into being more like them; all hard Js and very conformal. So she feels like she does not fit in at home, that they don't understand her and that they have nothing in common, but that she has gotten used to it. She seems confused about her priorities and her wants.

Is she depressed or just in a rut/bad phase? How can I help? She's a brilliant woman. I told her to accept that her family is just a bunch of individuals she didn't choose to know and live with. That she didn't have to feel obligated to understand and "belong" to them. I also gave her an escape rout: told her she could come stay at my apartment if she needed to get away. But I can't seem to comfort her or make her stop feeling bad. When I ask about one thing, 20 other things seem to come up.

 

[jixmixfix]

Funny you should say this. I'm talking to my INFP friend on IM. I asked what she was doing, and she said she was writing a list of things that bug her so she can easier address them. Then she started saying she's not structured enough or organized enough and that she think it's hard that she hasn't developed these traits yet. She's 23. Then she said something about that she didn't feel like she was living her own life, rather that she was living someone else's life. I get the sense that her family's constantly trying to change and mold her into being more like them; all hard Js and very conformal. So she feels like she does not fit in at home, that they don't understand her and that they have nothing in common, but that she has gotten used to it. She seems confused about her priorities and her wants.

Is she depressed or just in a rut/bad phase? How can I help? She's a brilliant woman. I told her to accept that her family is just a bunch of individuals she didn't choose to know and live with. That she didn't have to feel obligated to understand and "belong" to them. I also gave her an escape rout: told her she could come stay at my apartment if she needed to get away. But I can't seem to comfort her or make her stop feeling bad. When I ask about one thing, 20 other things seem to come up.

ya that sucks...I guess she doesn't have a structured path.

 

[Jaguar]

It's easy to start arguing with me. It's hard to piss me off.

Happy Bidet! :hi:

 

[Amargith]

^^^ Introduce her to MBTI perhaps(that's what worked for me..seeing that it *was* ok to be me and there *were* others weird like me in this world and they could be appreciated, as could I, for who we are by others) and show her that her preferences are perfectly ok and she's not harming anyone by being herself. Takes a while for that to sink in as the value of 'being true to yourself' constantly fights the value of 'valuing everyone's input'. Finding that balance is..extremely taxing and a lot of work. Also, never judge her if she *does* voice an opinion. Acknowledge that it has value, even if you disagree with it (which you then can exlpain as your pov later on).

She has a long road ahead of her, but it's well worth the journey. Just get her to break the loop of self-doubt, rebellion and guilt she's stuck in.

 

[Oaky]

Happy Bidet! :hi:

HAHAHAHA!!! I swear that was so unexpected! :yim_rolling_on_the_

 

[Jaguar]

HAHAHAHA!!! I swear that was so unexpected! :yim_rolling_on_the_

It's our secret weapon.