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[INFJ] INFJ Compatibility - INFJ's Romantic Match?

Are male INFJ's really that uncommon?

  • Yes

    Votes: 15 53.6%
  • No

    Votes: 5 17.9%
  • I don't know.

    Votes: 8 28.6%

  • Total voters
    28
  • Poll closed .

shadowstormz

New member
Joined
Oct 16, 2007
Messages
22
MBTI Type
INFJ
Hey!

So I was just wondering if anyone knows the personality types that compliment an INFJ's? I was wondering if the sex of the INFJ or the other personality depends on it and how accurate the compatibility between the two are. I'm not looking for a match online, but I'd find it interesting if there was a specific type.

Please, share thy wisdom. :)
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
:huh: The poll doesn't match the thread title or the text in the OP?

FYI we did a poll on rarest male type here and the INFJ did indeed 'win'. Of course, it's difficult to know whether that's just because voters knew it's supposed to be the rarest male type...
 

shadowstormz

New member
Joined
Oct 16, 2007
Messages
22
MBTI Type
INFJ
:huh: The poll doesn't match the thread title or the text in the OP?

FYI we did a poll on rarest male type here and the INFJ did indeed 'win'. Of course, it's difficult to know whether that's just because voters knew it's supposed to be the rarest male type...

Hehe, I'm new here. I'll go check out that thread.

Yeah, I was curious to see anyway. I guess there's no need for the poll!
 

shadowstormz

New member
Joined
Oct 16, 2007
Messages
22
MBTI Type
INFJ
To my knowledge, we haven't done a best-romantic-match-for-the-INFJ poll, so go ahead and actually make that one. :)

Haha, I guess I should have done the poll on that one instead. I can't seem to change the poll. I'll have to make another one. Hehe.
 

Jasz

Member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
276
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Hey!

So I was just wondering if anyone knows the personality types that compliment an INFJ's? I was wondering if the sex of the INFJ or the other personality depends on it and how accurate the compatibility between the two are. I'm not looking for a match online, but I'd find it interesting if there was a specific type.

Please, share thy wisdom. :)

my brother's an INFJ. his first love was an INFP, that didn't work out. he's an enneagram 3 and had too hold back too much as she was overly sensitive.

if i would have to guess i'd say his new girlfriend is an ISFP. it's working out very well. she's grounded which compliments him well.
 

faith

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
408
MBTI Type
INFJ
As a female INFJ, I have a distinct inclination toward NT males--particularly INTPs.

I've never met a male INFJ in real life. As an INFJ, if I were a guy with guyish preferences, I'd imagine that I might be inclined toward an SJ woman.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
As a female INFJ, I have a distinct inclination toward NT males--particularly INTPs.

I've never met a male INFJ in real life. As an INFJ, if I were a guy with guyish preferences, I'd imagine that I might be inclined toward an SJ woman.
That sounds about right to me.
 

Kiddo

Furry Critter with Claws
Joined
Sep 25, 2007
Messages
2,790
MBTI Type
OMNi
Well I'm a male INFj but when it comes to romance there is just so much to consider. There is the chemistry factor where some types just click with me, such as ENFJs. Then there is the mental types, such as INTPs and a lot of INTJs, who provide a strong psychological connection. I tend to have strong emotional connections to INFPs. But when it comes to the spiritual connection that I crave, it's those amazing and fun loving ENFPs that drive me wild.

I would have to say as far as long term, ENFP wins, as I don't think I could stand it if I ended up with an unhealthy INFP or a cynical INTP/INTJ. ENFPs just somehow bring the child out of me and I forget all my rigidity. Plus, they are just so super sexy. *drools*

faith said:
I've never met a male INFJ in real life. As an INFJ, if I were a guy with guyish preferences, I'd imagine that I might be inclined toward an SJ woman.

No! The SJ nurturing types of women are very attractive but they often lack substance beyond some religious affiliation.

But I should probably mention that I'm bisexual so that may skew my perception of things.
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Best romantic match? No idea! I'll let you know once I do know, lol.

Personally, I'm drawn much more to extroverts. I believe it is because I want someone to 'balance' me out, and bring me out - emotionally and socially. I have also only dated extroverts - they have all been EN's - because they have the ability to bring me out of my shell. I suppose I have never had a relationship with another introvert, because dating, in my experience, doesn't pan out well when it's two introverts going out on a date for the first time. Neither one talks or is really at ease, and it can lend to discomfort, and both people just wanting to go and hide. So, neither one really wants to see the other person a second time around. :)

As for NF vs NT - it's a tough call. I dated an ENFJ who was TOO emotional/needy for me, and an ENFP who was just...an unhealthy version of ENFP (I have two friends who are healthy ENFP's, so I know what they're like!). I've also dated an ENTJ who was TOO cynical/embittered/callous, and as a result I have very little patience/tolerance for cynicism and the like these days. My sample size of ENxx's is too small at this point!! I think though that there are less emotional ENF's out there, and less cynical ENT's out there -- so I'd need one of those. And..I know they exist. :)

Edit: spelled out the specific EN's I've dated. :)
 
Last edited:

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
I am dating a infj right now. I would say there is some serious connection going on.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
As a female INFJ, I have a distinct inclination toward NT males--particularly INTPs.

I've never met a male INFJ in real life. As an INFJ, if I were a guy with guyish preferences, I'd imagine that I might be inclined toward an SJ woman.

The INF? men I have encountered irl are typically married to ST women, but it has included both Js and Ps. My brother has tested as an INFJ, but I question the result a bit because he has about zero Fe, even though he is rather sensitive. I'm guessing either INTJ, INFP, or a latent extrovert, but he is extremely N. He's married to an ISTP.

I did have an employer who tested as INTJ, but he couldn't bear to fire anyone and was famous for his 'cornered rabbit' look. The INTJ reading seemed rather unlikely. He actually struck me as a straight on INFJ. He was very inspiring and had started his own small company. He was very thoughtful, kind, and quite a visionary. To recoup he said he would go to his cabin with a six pack, lay on the ground, and look at the stars. I don't know the results of his wife's test (she did consider herself to be intuitive, but made many wrong calls imo), but she bragged about making him get up to go to work every day of his life (ISTJ?).

I had an INFP college professor who would recount his first date with his wife. After working up the nerve, he asked her to go out with him sometime. She replied with "when?" and "where?". He hadn't thought of that yet. She was probably an ESFJ.

I do think that some male INFJs test as INTJs because of cultural norms related to gender expression of emotion. I also believe the reverse is true. Because of this, only the most extreme F's are likely to identify with the INFJ lable. The reverse could be true of women. I really do think that the INTJ-INFJs are look-a-likes because they share the dominant function, both tend to be motivated to be high achievers, and both actually have a strong, inward sensitivity. The types that share a dominant Sensing or iNtuitive function will especially look similar, since it is the S and N that cause the most distinction between types. They will also be most easily confused between the two genders since it is the F and T that create the distinction and the gender roles are culturally prescribed. These would include 1. INFJ-INTJ Ni, 2. ISFJ-ISTJ Si, 3. ENTP, ENFP Ne, 4. ESTP, ESFP Se
 

shadowstormz

New member
Joined
Oct 16, 2007
Messages
22
MBTI Type
INFJ
I guess I tend to be similar to cascademn and prefer extroverts, myself and for the same reason: it keeps me 'balanced'. But I don't think I'd be impossibly incompatible with introverts either. I'm not too familiar with all the different personality types so I guess I can't say too much. Hehe, I better start getting my friends to take them, eh?

I remember going out with an extrovert in high school and it was weird because I was so shy I could barely look at her and she was so nervous she kept talking.

Anyways, thanks for the feedbacks, everyone. I enjoyed reading each one of them. Keep 'em coming!
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
I say the ENTP is the best match for the INFJ. See my theory here.

Incidentally, I'm not the only one who thinks this. The following post is from the same thread.

Currently with INFJ.

Trust me guys (other ENTPs). It's the way to go, if you can catch one - do so. I can see how some of you might misjudge them, but they're not soft or prudish/bookish as some of the literature implies. If I told you everything, you wouldn't believe me (some of them really do have psychic powers - but hide them). It's best for you to find out on your own.

Keirsey was right on this one - believe me. Of course, there will always be exceptions, but there is no doubt in my mnd, that if one measured %chance of a successful relationship, (for an ENTP) - it would significantly dwarf most other pairings.

Blackwater (ENTP) is also in a very happy relationship with an INFJ.

And of course, there's ENTP The_Liquid_Laser and his INFJ wife ladypinkington. :)
 

Kiddo

Furry Critter with Claws
Joined
Sep 25, 2007
Messages
2,790
MBTI Type
OMNi
Reading the profile I would have to agree that an ENTP has a lot to offer an INFJ and vice versa. I don't think I've ever met one in real life but I think I would like to now. It's amazing how many of those are traits I have.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I could see how ENFP or ENTP could work. My best girlfriend is an ENFP and I think my pastor and his wife are ENFP and INFJ respectively.

Personally, I love my grumpy, stick-in-the-mud INTP, but I think that may be because I was all EXXP-ed out as a child.
 

Worth

New member
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
15
MBTI Type
INFJ
I am a male INFJ and I have only met two other male INFJs and like six INFJ females.
 

Bethy

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2007
Messages
29
MBTI Type
INFJ
I know several males who could very well be INFJs (haven't given them a test or anything, so I can't say that they are indeed INFJs) - probably more than females I know who show those preferences.

This could be so because I hang around a lot of church and seminary types, a field to which NFs are often drawn.

But are INFJs as extremely rare as everyone keeps saying we are? Here's an article by Vicky Jo Varner that examines this nicely: The Illusion of Rarity

I'm inclined to agree, especially with this:

We feel different, even when we are surrounded by other people who are INFJs and similar to us in every way (age, race, education, income). We would find a way to feel different. Most INFJs perpetually live with this sensation of being isolated, feeling different from the pack. Even when we aren't isolated, we tend to FEEL isolated, despite all evidence to the contrary.

I must admit, she has my number there.

But I digress. This topic could have its own thread. Not to mention the whole gender aspect. I have a lot of thoughts on that but I have to organize them first. I wouldn't want to unleash a flood of them on an unsuspecting crowd.

Back on the topic of romantic partners: A friend of mine, an INFJ* human rights lawyer at the United Nations, is married to a woman who is a very plainspoken, down-to-earth, no-nonsense sort of person. A possible ISTJ?

Another INFJ friend of mine, an Episcopal priest, was drawn to his current fiancee because, so he said, of how "down to earth" she was.

So perhaps the SJ does have an appeal for the INFJ, and not just the male INFJ. I dated an ESTJ for nearly a year. While there were some aspects of his personality that exasperated me, there were others that I found reassuring: His firm foundation in reality for one, as well as his smooth competence in social situations. Plus, he had excellent table manners. Our relationship was nice while it lasted.





*He, his wife, and I all belong to a group that gets together a few times a month for wine and conversation. It often happens that I'll mention some thoughts or behaviors or general quirks of mine, and the wife will jump in with an, "Oh, yes! My [husbandsname] is like that/does that all the time!"

It's hardly a foolproof type-verification method, but it sure is cute when it happens.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Are INFJs as extremely rare as everyone keeps saying we are? Here's an article by Vicky Jo Varner that examines this nicely: The Illusion of Rarity

Just as an endorsement, I think Vicky Jo (an INFJ female) has some very insight commentary both on this site and her INFJorINFP.com site.

I have not had time to pour through all of it (because there is a lot there!), but she definitely contributes a great deal to the INFx conversation.

I happen to bump into INFJ males usually in the realm of spirituality as well. The Ni+Fe part usually contributes to spirituality, while the Ti tertiary (when coupled with Ni intuition + the human interest of Fe) if developed really contributes to the INFJ addressing spiritual issues in a philosophical way.
 

cascadeco

New member
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Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
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INFJ
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9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
But are INFJs as extremely rare as everyone keeps saying we are? Here's an article by Vicky Jo Varner that examines this nicely: The Illusion of Rarity

It's certainly possible - INFJ's tend to be private amongst strangers anyway, and aren't easily readable. I also think I read somewhere that INFJ is least likely to recognize another INFJ in real life. This proves true in my experience!!

However....I still do think INFJ is fairly rare. I just think we tend to congregate in similar interest-groups, organizations, forums, etc. Somehow we find each other, so perhaps it just seems there are more than there are. The fact that I know 3 other INFJ's in real life doesn't prove much to me, because they're 3 people, out of a vastly greater number of others I come into contact with regularly, or have come in contact with in the past - who without a doubt are NOT INFJ. ;-)

So, out of your random airport-sampling, or Mall of America sampling of people, I would be surprised if there were more than 1-2 out of a 100.
 
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