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View Poll Results: Are male INFJ's really that uncommon?

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  • Yes

    15 53.57%
  • No

    5 17.86%
  • I don't know.

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  1. #81
    Senior Member Martian Manifesto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faith View Post
    As a female INFJ, I have a distinct inclination toward NT males--particularly INTPs.

    I've never met a male INFJ in real life. As an INFJ, if I were a guy with guyish preferences, I'd imagine that I might be inclined toward an SJ woman.
    oh no. No no no. I will be needing an N in there somewhere, thank you very much.

  2. #82
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    ENxPs would be best
    I N V I C T U S

  3. #83
    Senior Member Martian Manifesto's Avatar
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    Default A Theory of Ideal Matching

    INFJ Relationships (got this from The Personality Page)


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    INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and complex. They're likely to seek out and promote relationships that are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part, this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship, always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don't always find them.



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    INFJ Strengths

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    Warm and affirming by nature
    Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship
    Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings
    Usually have good communication skills, especially written
    Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
    Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
    Good listeners
    Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)


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    INFJ Weaknesses

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    Tendency to hold back part of themselves
    Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities
    Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
    Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
    Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship


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    INFJs as Lovers

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    "To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May


    INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to receive affirmation back from their mates.

    They are perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types.

    Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.

    Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?

    Natural Partners

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    You may be interested in understanding how we came to the conclusion that certain types are ideal for each other. Our type pairing is a result of combining observation, research, and understanding of Jungian psychological type. Observation and research of married couples shows that there is a definite trend in types that are attracted to each other, and in type combinations that have the longest lasting relationships. Our understanding of psychological type helps to see that these types typically have the same dominant function, but with a different attitude.

    In Jungian terms, "functions" refer to the four core traits: Intuition (N), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), and Thinking (T). The term "attitude" refers to the direction of the function, i.e. Introverted (I) or Extraverted (E).

    So, for example, a person with a personality type of ISFP has a dominant function of Introverted Feeling. More specifically, Feeling in the dominant function, and its attitude (or direction) is Introverted. A person with this personality type is likely to be most attracted to, and fit best with, a person that has Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality. Extraverted Feeling dominates the personality types ESFJ and ENFJ. We therefore determine that the ISFP's natural partner is the ESFJ or the ENFJ.

    Our natural attraction to people who share our dominant function, but who use it in a different direction works very well for us. We not only flip-flop the Introverted or Extraverted trait, but we also flip-flop the Judging or Perceiving trait. In this way, the partner that we choose for ourselves will have a very different approach to dealing with the world. If we are laid-back and indecisive, our partner will be structured and decisive. If we are reserved, our partner will be outgoing. For all of our apparent differences, we will share a common vision of what's truly important in life.

    For people whose personality types are dominated by Decision Making functions, (i.e. Thinking or Feeling), their ideal partners will include both Sensing and Intuitive types. Many people have problems communicating effectively with people who do not share their same preference for Information Gathering. So, if you have a very strong preference for Sensing or Intuition, you will need to give the personality type with the same preference a higher value as a likely natural partner. For example, an ISFP who strongly prefers Sensing will work best with an ESFJ, rather than an ENFJ.

    Although we believe firmly that this model works very well to help in finding and maintaining healthy relationships, it is important to remember that it's just a tool. We offer guidelines to help you understand the kinds of things that you value in a relationship, rather than guidelines that you need to follow strictly. Two well-developed individuals of any type can make a relationship work. And work is a key concept here! There is no such thing as an effortless relationship. Don't use this model as an excuse to dump your relationship.

  4. #84
    Senior Member Martian Manifesto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by armstrongvk12 View Post
    You took the words right out of my mouth! This describes almost ALL of my ESJ female friends. They believe they are "helping" you by telling you what to do and have no concept of their controlling ways. I find I need to get away from them frequently....because their constant chatter about material possessions, chores, errands and gossip bring me down and shut down my creativity....and I am an extroverted NT female.
    One of my best friends (INTJ) is married to an ESFJ. You are so dead on.

  5. #85
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    I think another INFJ or an ENFP would be good for me

  6. #86
    Senior Mugwump Apollanaut's Avatar
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    ENTP is my preferred choice for a romantic partner. My partner of sixteen years is an ENTP, and in retrospect I have always been drawn to EXXP types.
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

  7. #87
    Senior Member Martian Manifesto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    Why avoid the S? I've had more problems with N types than S types in relationships.
    You're kidding, right? The S/N difference is nearly insurmountable.

  8. #88
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    I like INFs. I've made it work fairly well with one.

  9. #89
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    both are equally uncommon

  10. #90
    Junior Member Danielson's Avatar
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    No other type drives me wild as ESTPs do. Im also interested in ENTPs.
    I also have some really good ENFJ friends.

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