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View Poll Results: Are male INFJ's really that uncommon?

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  • Yes

    15 53.57%
  • No

    5 17.86%
  • I don't know.

    8 28.57%
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  1. #11

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    I am dating a infj right now. I would say there is some serious connection going on.

  2. #12
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faith View Post
    As a female INFJ, I have a distinct inclination toward NT males--particularly INTPs.

    I've never met a male INFJ in real life. As an INFJ, if I were a guy with guyish preferences, I'd imagine that I might be inclined toward an SJ woman.
    The INF? men I have encountered irl are typically married to ST women, but it has included both Js and Ps. My brother has tested as an INFJ, but I question the result a bit because he has about zero Fe, even though he is rather sensitive. I'm guessing either INTJ, INFP, or a latent extrovert, but he is extremely N. He's married to an ISTP.

    I did have an employer who tested as INTJ, but he couldn't bear to fire anyone and was famous for his 'cornered rabbit' look. The INTJ reading seemed rather unlikely. He actually struck me as a straight on INFJ. He was very inspiring and had started his own small company. He was very thoughtful, kind, and quite a visionary. To recoup he said he would go to his cabin with a six pack, lay on the ground, and look at the stars. I don't know the results of his wife's test (she did consider herself to be intuitive, but made many wrong calls imo), but she bragged about making him get up to go to work every day of his life (ISTJ?).

    I had an INFP college professor who would recount his first date with his wife. After working up the nerve, he asked her to go out with him sometime. She replied with "when?" and "where?". He hadn't thought of that yet. She was probably an ESFJ.

    I do think that some male INFJs test as INTJs because of cultural norms related to gender expression of emotion. I also believe the reverse is true. Because of this, only the most extreme F's are likely to identify with the INFJ lable. The reverse could be true of women. I really do think that the INTJ-INFJs are look-a-likes because they share the dominant function, both tend to be motivated to be high achievers, and both actually have a strong, inward sensitivity. The types that share a dominant Sensing or iNtuitive function will especially look similar, since it is the S and N that cause the most distinction between types. They will also be most easily confused between the two genders since it is the F and T that create the distinction and the gender roles are culturally prescribed. These would include 1. INFJ-INTJ Ni, 2. ISFJ-ISTJ Si, 3. ENTP, ENFP Ne, 4. ESTP, ESFP Se
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  3. #13
    Junior Member shadowstormz's Avatar
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    I guess I tend to be similar to cascademn and prefer extroverts, myself and for the same reason: it keeps me 'balanced'. But I don't think I'd be impossibly incompatible with introverts either. I'm not too familiar with all the different personality types so I guess I can't say too much. Hehe, I better start getting my friends to take them, eh?

    I remember going out with an extrovert in high school and it was weird because I was so shy I could barely look at her and she was so nervous she kept talking.

    Anyways, thanks for the feedbacks, everyone. I enjoyed reading each one of them. Keep 'em coming!

  4. #14
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    I say the ENTP is the best match for the INFJ. See my theory here.

    Incidentally, I'm not the only one who thinks this. The following post is from the same thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by meanlittlechimp View Post
    Currently with INFJ.

    Trust me guys (other ENTPs). It's the way to go, if you can catch one - do so. I can see how some of you might misjudge them, but they're not soft or prudish/bookish as some of the literature implies. If I told you everything, you wouldn't believe me (some of them really do have psychic powers - but hide them). It's best for you to find out on your own.

    Keirsey was right on this one - believe me. Of course, there will always be exceptions, but there is no doubt in my mnd, that if one measured %chance of a successful relationship, (for an ENTP) - it would significantly dwarf most other pairings.
    Blackwater (ENTP) is also in a very happy relationship with an INFJ.

    And of course, there's ENTP The_Liquid_Laser and his INFJ wife ladypinkington.

  5. #15
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Reading the profile I would have to agree that an ENTP has a lot to offer an INFJ and vice versa. I don't think I've ever met one in real life but I think I would like to now. It's amazing how many of those are traits I have.

  6. #16
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I could see how ENFP or ENTP could work. My best girlfriend is an ENFP and I think my pastor and his wife are ENFP and INFJ respectively.

    Personally, I love my grumpy, stick-in-the-mud INTP, but I think that may be because I was all EXXP-ed out as a child.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #17
    Junior Member Worth's Avatar
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    I am a male INFJ and I have only met two other male INFJs and like six INFJ females.
    INFJ - 4w5

    "Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil." - Friedrich Nietzsche

  8. #18
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    I know several males who could very well be INFJs (haven't given them a test or anything, so I can't say that they are indeed INFJs) - probably more than females I know who show those preferences.

    This could be so because I hang around a lot of church and seminary types, a field to which NFs are often drawn.

    But are INFJs as extremely rare as everyone keeps saying we are? Here's an article by Vicky Jo Varner that examines this nicely: The Illusion of Rarity

    I'm inclined to agree, especially with this:

    We feel different, even when we are surrounded by other people who are INFJs and similar to us in every way (age, race, education, income). We would find a way to feel different. Most INFJs perpetually live with this sensation of being isolated, feeling different from the pack. Even when we aren't isolated, we tend to FEEL isolated, despite all evidence to the contrary.
    I must admit, she has my number there.

    But I digress. This topic could have its own thread. Not to mention the whole gender aspect. I have a lot of thoughts on that but I have to organize them first. I wouldn't want to unleash a flood of them on an unsuspecting crowd.

    Back on the topic of romantic partners: A friend of mine, an INFJ* human rights lawyer at the United Nations, is married to a woman who is a very plainspoken, down-to-earth, no-nonsense sort of person. A possible ISTJ?

    Another INFJ friend of mine, an Episcopal priest, was drawn to his current fiancee because, so he said, of how "down to earth" she was.

    So perhaps the SJ does have an appeal for the INFJ, and not just the male INFJ. I dated an ESTJ for nearly a year. While there were some aspects of his personality that exasperated me, there were others that I found reassuring: His firm foundation in reality for one, as well as his smooth competence in social situations. Plus, he had excellent table manners. Our relationship was nice while it lasted.





    *He, his wife, and I all belong to a group that gets together a few times a month for wine and conversation. It often happens that I'll mention some thoughts or behaviors or general quirks of mine, and the wife will jump in with an, "Oh, yes! My [husbandsname] is like that/does that all the time!"

    It's hardly a foolproof type-verification method, but it sure is cute when it happens.

  9. #19
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethy View Post
    Are INFJs as extremely rare as everyone keeps saying we are? Here's an article by Vicky Jo Varner that examines this nicely: The Illusion of Rarity
    Just as an endorsement, I think Vicky Jo (an INFJ female) has some very insight commentary both on this site and her INFJorINFP.com site.

    I have not had time to pour through all of it (because there is a lot there!), but she definitely contributes a great deal to the INFx conversation.

    I happen to bump into INFJ males usually in the realm of spirituality as well. The Ni+Fe part usually contributes to spirituality, while the Ti tertiary (when coupled with Ni intuition + the human interest of Fe) if developed really contributes to the INFJ addressing spiritual issues in a philosophical way.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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  10. #20
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethy View Post
    But are INFJs as extremely rare as everyone keeps saying we are? Here's an article by Vicky Jo Varner that examines this nicely: The Illusion of Rarity
    It's certainly possible - INFJ's tend to be private amongst strangers anyway, and aren't easily readable. I also think I read somewhere that INFJ is least likely to recognize another INFJ in real life. This proves true in my experience!!

    However....I still do think INFJ is fairly rare. I just think we tend to congregate in similar interest-groups, organizations, forums, etc. Somehow we find each other, so perhaps it just seems there are more than there are. The fact that I know 3 other INFJ's in real life doesn't prove much to me, because they're 3 people, out of a vastly greater number of others I come into contact with regularly, or have come in contact with in the past - who without a doubt are NOT INFJ. ;-)

    So, out of your random airport-sampling, or Mall of America sampling of people, I would be surprised if there were more than 1-2 out of a 100.

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