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View Poll Results: Are male INFJ's really that uncommon?

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  • Yes

    15 53.57%
  • No

    5 17.86%
  • I don't know.

    8 28.57%
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  1. #181
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Well, of course. I was just trying to get more information by asking leading questions. INFJ's are rather inscrutable sometimes.
    Yea, but o'course. Didn't mean to be/sound hostile

  2. #182
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by penelope View Post
    I take back what I've said before about INFJ-INFJ matches.

    I'm currently dating a third INFJ guy

    However, this third INFJ (third time's a charm, y'know), things seem to be going as perfectly as they could be. And I promise I'm not being idealistic!
    I think I'm starting to agree with you. You have made a perfect case for something I have been saying and thinking for awhile. INFJs and INTJs seem to stick together out of comfort, there is no other reason I can see as no other types is seemingly so inclined to date their own type as most need/want a balance. With INFJs being the rarest yet most often found dating each other I think you post clearly highlights something I've said many times.

    Quote Originally Posted by penelope View Post
    Here's why we seem to be the "perfect" couple so far (based on INFJ tendencies):

    - we're both striving for the perfect relationship, which entails:
    - very bluntly clear and honest in our communication, especially through writing
    - sensitive to each other's personalities
    - we seem to "mirror" each other. at first, that made us both feel strange, as if we were finding ourselves in the other person, but it became very comforting, since we're both such unique individuals.
    -our ideals, standards, and beliefs are very similar, if not the same. This saves a lot of possible strife in other pairings.
    - we're constantly analyzing our relationship and how we interact with each other, looking for weak spots that could be improved (can't find any so far!)
    So basically it's exactly like dating an ENTP except for you double down on your strengths and weaknesses and you have no balance. And while you have this feeling of growing it isn't really possible to grow all that much as you're both looking at the exact same thing with no ability to see the rest of the picture as you both come to the table with the same things.

    Penelope, I'm not trying to dig on you too much but I am clearly doing so. I myself have started to think that the two Ne dominants and the two Ni dominants are best suited for one another with the INTJ as almost a wild card.

    Getting to know an INFJ is like pulling teeth and I question putting that much effort into getting to know anybody. I don't question the ENTP/INFJ dynamic as I think that's amazing and wonderful however I think it's a huge pain in the ass to get started with the majority of it being the ENTP out of their comfort zone with the INFJ being a turtle with their head in a shell fighting the whole way.

    In all honesty INFJs (and their dating choices/styles) have single handedly made me question my desire to be with an introvert as I'm starting to see a well rounded extrovert (even more so Ne doms) as a far more relaxing and enjoyable partner. I would personally much rather have a balance in my relationship even if it means pushing my comfort levels but I have yet to meet an INFJ that seems carefree and free spirited enough to suit the life I want to enjoy. Frankly they all seem pretty anal retentive and uptight though I wonder if that dissipates after knowing one for many years. I would have a hard time white knuckle gripping life over every bump the way you seem to.

    To the INFJs I'm close to on here, take no offense as you know how I feel about you. You also know how exceedingly hard you've been to get to know and how mistrusting of intentions you are despite being a dominant intuitive. So I'm sure you see the logic behind this post.

  3. #183
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Sam, normally I would agree with you - but wouldn't you also be doubling down your strengths and weaknesses with an E or Ne, as well? It's hard to admit this, but it's the truth - my house is only big enough for my own loud, boisterous ego. It may suit me well to have a partner that makes me work and focus on another person, rather than being with someone that just feeds the beast that keeps on growing. But I dunno. Thoughts?

    These past few days were a little bit intense for me and I think I may need to explore a less explosive life style. At least for a little while... I could never do that with another version of myself.

  4. #184
    Senior Member Xellotath's Avatar
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    In my experience, the INFJ-ENFP interactions have this unreal quality. We will arrive at the same conclusion on intuition alone, but whenever we analyze the methods we employed to get there, we realize they are truly different. Mutual fascination ensues. Lots of "Wow....how did you....you're a genius". Lots of giggling too and playing too! Its like they both turn into children. Another advantage of the ENFP is that unlike the ENTP, the ENFP is very much people-oriented and does not mind spending all their energy in trying to figure out every quirk and make the relationship thoroughly conceptually and emotionally perfect. Figuring out others is one of the things ENFPs do best and the INFJs are an excellent psychological puzzle and playmate.

    The major advantage ENTPs have is their Fe. This is significant because ENFPs and INFJs are both feeling dominants, feeling is very important to both, Fi will be pitted against Fe, and by god, it can be bloody - here is where you will find INFJs saying ENFPs are too dramatic or ENFPs being dissapointed whenever they finally get through their heads that the ultra-egocentric INFJ does not feel such ethereal connectedness in everything, which is very important for the ENFP, thus shattering many of the ideals that sustained the relationship in the first place. In my opinion this has nothing to do with balance, the ENTP might provide a pleasing romantic narrative / story because once the introvert peels the layers of the ENTP, the INFJ will find at the core something that he/she can relate to, that is Fe instead of Fi. INFJs are not that adventurous to pick something so radically different in a partner.... Fi will only confuse them.

  5. #185
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xellotath View Post
    ...
    to this post. Except for this part:

    ...here is where you will find INFJs saying ENFPs are too dramatic or ENFPs being dissapointed whenever they finally get through their heads that the ultra-egocentric INFJ does not feel such ethereal connectedness in everything, which is very important for the ENFP, thus shattering many of the ideals that sustained the relationship in the first place...INFJs are not that adventurous to pick something so radically different in a partner.... Fi will only confuse them.
    Relating this to my own experiences...I don't think ENFPs are too dramatic (I can be pretty dramatic myself, when I get in the mood). And I wish I were egocentric so I could focus more on my needs instead of everyone else's. Fi is not "radically" different for me, but I did grow up with two Fi males.

  6. #186
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    (I can be pretty dramatic myself, when I get in the mood).
    Same here. When I do get dramatic, my friends' reactions can be pretty fun for me to watch. "WTF did that come from, dude? Are you ok?!"

    Usually I tell 'em that I like to keep them guessing about me - lol.

  7. #187
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tibby View Post
    I can only speak for myself and all I know I might be a deviant weirdo among all the other INFJs.

    It's a slow, slow process, first with all. It cannot be pushed or pressured or fastened. But I know of myself when I love, it's the most intense, deep, out of this world kind depth of feeling. And as being me (the weirdo deviant or just your regular nextdoor infj) I usually get these bursts - I mean in the quietness of myself, I get absolute overwhelming bursts of it from time to time that make me feel connected in ways I can't describe. Like a Phoenix, it burns burns burns burns - and rebirths.
    cool. this is how it is for me too. nicely described.

    a persistent pervasive pulsing.

    but i thought i was the deviant weirdo among all others......nice to know i'm not alone!

    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    Getting to know an INFJ is like pulling teeth and I question putting that much effort into getting to know anybody. I don't question the ENTP/INFJ dynamic as I think that's amazing and wonderful however I think it's a huge pain in the ass to get started with the majority of it being the ENTP out of their comfort zone with the INFJ being a turtle with their head in a shell fighting the whole way.
    really? if anything i'm too open with people--like intense--in an effort to bridge gaps to enhance comfortable sharing and relating.

    In all honesty INFJs (and their dating choices/styles) have single handedly made me question my desire to be with an introvert as I'm starting to see a well rounded extrovert (even more so Ne doms) as a far more relaxing and enjoyable partner. I would personally much rather have a balance in my relationship even if it means pushing my comfort levels but I have yet to meet an INFJ that seems carefree and free spirited enough to suit the life I want to enjoy. Frankly they all seem pretty anal retentive and uptight though I wonder if that dissipates after knowing one for many years. I would have a hard time white knuckle gripping life over every bump the way you seem to.

    To the INFJs I'm close to on here, take no offense as you know how I feel about you. You also know how exceedingly hard you've been to get to know and how mistrusting of intentions you are despite being a dominant intuitive. So I'm sure you see the logic behind this post.
    you're in trouble, buddy!!!! we may be slightly, um, bitchy at times, and possibly misconstrued as controlling when our values are in danger of being overrun (i'll never admit that again), but you need someone to lash that uncontrolled exuberance of your entp ass lest you take a running leap and bounce right off the face of the earth!

    i can't believe our night didn't mean more to you........and you said you loved me...........:yim_phbbbbt:
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  8. #188
    Phoenix Incarnate Sentura's Avatar
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    extroverted intuition paired with introverted intuition? ENFP first choice, ENTP second choice?
    i hunt INXPs for bounty
    FUNCTION ORDER FOR THOSE THAT CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ENXP MEANS: Ne > Ni > Fi=Ti > *

    ...people tell me i have wildfires in my eyes

  9. #189
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    ENTP = first choice.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #190
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    ENTP = first choice.
    Perhaps for female INFJs. Id say ENFPs for male INFJs.

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