User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 44

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    52

    Default Do people like you?

    I usually attract some people to talk to me, and I also sometimes feel attracted to people. Like if I knew them before. But when they get to know me, they take me as a friend, but they don't want to be very involved with me. For example, I just met new friends at school, we talk a lot, and we may be together everyday at school, but they don't want me to hang out with them. I don't really know why but this has happened to me all my life and I'm 18. And sometimes for some reason they stop talking to me and I think I didn't do anything to make them apart. Have you felt this way? Please share your experiences.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    761

    Default

    I'm familiar with that, it's happened plenty of times. To my knowledge, I'm pretty liked among people, maybe not to a friend level but something like that. People come up to me to talk, ask for a lunch in school etc. It's the times when you are decently liked, but not really admitted into a group or cycle of friends (or it's just those polite terms that are being kept up) that leave me unsecure too. Was it me or something I did?
    Sometimes the feeling of liking someone isn't strong enough, you end up being just okay company, sometimes the people don't have enough energy to keep the thing going, sometimes this and sometimes that. *sigh*
    I've come to think of that as a normal cource of things. I'll just move on from them to find people who prefer to hang around me more.

  3. #3
    Phantonym
    Guest

    Default

    Teehee, the story of my life. It seems to me that people acknowledge my existence but I'm usually ignored. It's not anything negative, I don't think that I'm deliberately ostracized but I might as well be invisible while being visible (if that makes sense). Things never advance from the usual meaningless chit-chat or "let's talk business" to a more deeper personal friendship. I have plenty of acquaintances but that's it. I'm quite absent minded. I usually notice people around me but I'm also preoccupied with my own thoughts to such a degree that unless people approach me, time usually passes without any kind of interaction. As a result, I've always been somewhat distant and I think people pick up the vibes and think that I don't want much interaction/am too proud to talk to anyone. Which is not the case at all but sometimes I just forget to talk to people even if I have thought about talking to them
    Last edited by Phantonym; 09-20-2009 at 05:51 AM. Reason: Little pesky typo

  4. #4
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,132

    Default

    I've found an incredible difference since deciding to approach people instead of waiting for them to approach me. I watched my ESTJ boyfriend do that and with people we had both known for the same amount of time, they gravitated toward him, issued invites to parties for me through him etc. I was very frustrated about it for awhile because I actually invested much more in keeping those friendships going and also was much less likely to talk about them behind their backs etc. Then I realized that part of it is that he is less reluctant to "impose" himself on others and also takes time all the time for small talk with people. Because everyone is a little insecure themselves, they appreciate having a clear message that they are liked, that the person wants to be friends, and that the person has even assumed an amount of friendship enough to invite himself over to watch the game and bring supper or snacks for everyone etc.

    I have also noticed that over the years as I have started feeling more confident and comfortable in my own skin, I have more space in my head to focus on the other person and how they feel. People love having a chance to talk about themselves and appreciate you remembering what is going on in their lives, their likes and dislikes, interests and people important to them. I have also started to understand that sometimes what seems like cool or distant behaviour has more to do with their own feelings of insecurity rather than something being wrong with me. As time goes on, I have also realized that not everyone will click together and that doesn't mean there' something wrong with either person. It kind of takes the heat off then.

    I've also found that I tend to be attracted to people with a variety of skills and interests who are going somewhere in life themselves rather than looking for someone or something to give them a sense of significance. They inspire me to be a better person myself. So perhaps it boils down to two parts: being an interesting and an interested person and going from there.

  5. #5
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by enfp1091 View Post
    I usually attract some people to talk to me, and I also sometimes feel attracted to people. Like if I knew them before. But when they get to know me, they take me as a friend, but they don't want to be very involved with me. For example, I just met new friends at school, we talk a lot, and we may be together everyday at school, but they don't want me to hang out with them. I don't really know why but this has happened to me all my life and I'm 18. And sometimes for some reason they stop talking to me and I think I didn't do anything to make them apart. Have you felt this way? Please share your experiences.
    High school was like.. a boring drudgery. I did enjoy physics class, but there were more interesting people in my physics class than other classes. (I didn't make it into AP classes because I wasn't focused enough in Junior high. Somehow I tested into them but the school didn't think I had the study habits for them. They should have given me ENFP meds)

    Once I got to college and got in engineering and (was the only female engineering student) and met other people with interests similar to mine I had a blast.

    Now that I'm a PTA mom I'm bored out of my mind with the people around me again. (Did I just admit that?)

    I'm guessing you just need to find people you actually connect with.

  6. #6
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    738
    Socionics
    ILE None
    Posts
    7,265

    Default

    Do people like you?








    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  7. #7
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    6w7 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    6,747

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by enfp1091 View Post
    I usually attract some people to talk to me, and I also sometimes feel attracted to people. Like if I knew them before. But when they get to know me, they take me as a friend, but they don't want to be very involved with me. For example, I just met new friends at school, we talk a lot, and we may be together everyday at school, but they don't want me to hang out with them. I don't really know why but this has happened to me all my life and I'm 18. And sometimes for some reason they stop talking to me and I think I didn't do anything to make them apart. Have you felt this way? Please share your experiences.
    Yea, I have felt that way.. Never understood it and can't describe it in any way except that you may just have found the wrong group.. Its easier if you go to college, there is a larger diversity and more people to talk to. I'm not really sure why this happens. Not really cliquing I guess.

  8. #8
    Member hakuna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Socionics
    INFP
    Posts
    32

    Default

    I had a lot of experiences like that in high school, less now in college. Sometimes people are just flaky, especially in high school. I take it you've focused on this because ENFPs are generally very friend oriented people. I've also meet several people like I feel like I've known before kind of like a deja vu experience, generally I've really clicked and stayed friends with those few.

  9. #9
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 so/sp
    Posts
    2,912

    Default

    I find people don't tend to really like me or dislike me. I'm just considered kinda innocuous. I'm always suprised when people (properly) like me and make an effort to converse with me and spend time with me. Its happened more as time goes by but I don't think I'm ever going to be 'in'

  10. #10
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Yes.

    I had a 7.5 hour long lecture today, and connected with half of my class.

    By the end of the day, one girl said, "I feel like I've known you forever", and everyone laughed and agreed.

    Every once in awhile I attract haters, but generally speaking, I'm a highly likeable person.

    Also, I cried today in class, when relaying a story, and that seemed to shake people up.

    (I do not cry in public often)

    By the end of the class I also made three friends, and we know more about each other than most couples who've been living under the same roof for 20 years know about one and other.

    Ironically, in many instances, the *less* I know you, the more open and honest I'll be.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

Similar Threads

  1. [SJ] Fellow SJs: do people see you as "closed-minded"?
    By EJCC in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 09-18-2017, 09:48 PM
  2. [INFJ] infj do people think you are depressed
    By jcloudz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 09-16-2010, 05:25 PM
  3. [NT] Do people hate you?
    By Blown Ghost in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 09-13-2010, 11:20 PM
  4. [NT] NTPs... do people think you are high?
    By laintpe in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 61
    Last Post: 08-30-2009, 09:34 PM
  5. introverts - do people think you're stuck up?
    By run in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 04-11-2009, 08:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO