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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by enfp1091 View Post
    I usually attract some people to talk to me, and I also sometimes feel attracted to people. Like if I knew them before. But when they get to know me, they take me as a friend, but they don't want to be very involved with me. For example, I just met new friends at school, we talk a lot, and we may be together everyday at school, but they don't want me to hang out with them. I don't really know why but this has happened to me all my life and I'm 18. And sometimes for some reason they stop talking to me and I think I didn't do anything to make them apart. Have you felt this way? Please share your experiences.
    This happened to me also. I had great expectations for new friends and while my friendship was sort of missing on my side of it, never really made the effort to be a friend, I expected the other to be there for me. If I made friends with someone it was my own deal I made, I wasn't that empathetic to my new friend. Most times friendships take a long time to develop and even then the time may not nurture something. Another thing, try not get down on yourself for what may seem like them ignoring you, not including you. From my experience, people have a set way they operate. Routines, you know? Even though you talk and have familiarity in a class doesn't mean the person can consider you a part of their life/routine outside class. I remember this feeling from my earliest experiences with new people.

    You haven't done a thing wrong, is what I'm saying! My advice would be to enjoy people however lame they are for what they can give. Most of us are fragile tender egomaniacs.

  2. #12
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    I'm terrible in big groups, but can be very sociable and I guess likable in that mood - which can result in people begging me for a silly out-going person. Then some people might think of me as easy to approach and easy-going, but they don't realise I'm that way on a very general, non-personal level. So if people get to know me and catch me at these moments, I've noticed I am probably "easier to be liked" because humor's the bridge I use to connect to them.

  3. #13
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    @CC: not the most modest person are you?

  4. #14
    Senior Member SciVo's Avatar
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    Yes, people like me -- and I like them. However, I can't help my reservedness. I've been overwhelmed in the past and now I'm afraid of it. So, it's very difficult for me to make and maintain good connections.
    INFP ~ Fi/Ne/Ni/Te ~ 9-2-4 sp/so

  5. #15
    Member dani_elle's Avatar
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    I guess I'm liked enough but not overwhelming popular. And yeah, there ARE groups which I feel I'm not truly a part of. Its nobody's fault really, just that we can't really communicate.

    I tend to get along better with people who are outgoing and spontaneous or people who are just very, very quiet. I have friends from both spectrums.

    I'm actually not a very loud person until I get all excited so I can't appreciate a person who always has to get their word in.
    I am an ENFP but I value justice over mercy.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    I find most who like me are NFs and NTs.

    I think a lot of Sensors find it very difficult to understand me. So I feel and think most won't 'hang on' and follow my abstract thoughts..and so don't feel as comfortable around me, perhaps not knowing where I'm 'coming from'.

    In my life there was one INFJ who decided to sever friendship. Truly seemed arbitrary and was not understandable.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  7. #17
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    sometimes
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  8. #18
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Teehee, the story of my life. It seems to me that people acknowledge my existence but I'm usually ignored. It's not anything negative, I don't think that I'm deliberately ostracized but I might as well be invisible while being visible (if that makes sense). Things never advance from the usual meaningless chit-chat or "let's talk business" to a more deeper personal friendship. I have plenty of acquaintances but that's it. I'm quite absent minded. I usually notice people around me but I'm also preoccupied with my own thoughts to such a degree that unless people approach me, time usually passes without any kind of interaction. As a result, I've always been somewhat distant and I think people pick up the vibes and think that I don't want much interaction/am too proud to talk to anyone. Which is not the case at all but sometimes I just forget to talk to people even if I have thought about talking to them
    Yeah, I do this too. I'm sometimes so removed from the moment that I simply forget to interact with people. My mind is somewhere else completely, and that can make me seem aloof or snobby. Then, at some other time when it is not convenient or appropriate to talk to someone, I think of things to say

    I feel kind of invisible also...although, now being many years out of HS, I am surprised when I run into people and they recognize me and I have no idea who they are. I wasn't as invisible as I thought, but rather, I was withdrawn mentally which made me seem intimidating.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I find people don't tend to really like me or dislike me. I'm just considered kinda innocuous. I'm always suprised when people (properly) like me and make an effort to converse with me and spend time with me. Its happened more as time goes by but I don't think I'm ever going to be 'in'
    I think I am generally not viewed with any strong feeling either. I'm just that quiet person who is there. It is surprising and nice when people like me a lot, to the point where I have been almost suspicious of those people's motives.


    I try and reach out to other people & let them know I like them, but I have a hard time not seeming too intense or needy, and I seem to inspire reluctance in people to talk about themselves. I am not needy at all, in fact, I am quite independent & happy to be alone most of the time, but my social finesses is lacking. Strangely enough, at other times, with no prodding or effort from me, people spill their guts to me. I've started to feel like things have to come to me, and that I cannot make them come, which makes me feel out of control of my life, which is not a good feeling.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #19
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    They used to; I was the 'lovable, fun, deceptively quiet-looking' guy that was always making his friends laugh with his observations and was always trying to put strangers at ease. I used to be able to hold my own very well in a crowd.

    At some point, within the past 1.5yrs or so, I experienced a bit of a quarter-life crisis and retreated further into my head. I was surprised to be told, by a well-meaning friend, that I now give off a rather snobbish and standoffish vibe and some interpret that to mean that I believe that I'm somewhat better than them. I suppose that may explain why the phone-calls and emails have slowed down to a trickle.

  10. #20
    Senior Member rainoneventide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Teehee, the story of my life. It seems to me that people acknowledge my existence but I'm usually ignored. It's not anything negative, I don't think that I'm deliberately ostracized but I might as well be invisible while being visible (if that makes sense). Things never advance from the usual meaningless chit-chat or "let's talk business" to a more deeper personal friendship. I have plenty of acquaintances but that's it. I'm quite absent minded. I usually notice people around me but I'm also preoccupied with my own thoughts to such a degree that unless people approach me, time usually passes without any kind of interaction. As a result, I've always been somewhat distant and I think people pick up the vibes and think that I don't want much interaction/am too proud to talk to anyone. Which is not the case at all but sometimes I just forget to talk to people even if I have thought about talking to them
    ^ Ditto

    I want to get to know and bond with more people, but there's still an insecure part of me that's subconsciously pulling away.

    I gotta really want to be likable to be likable, lol.
    "So I say, live and let live. Thatís my motto. Live and let live.
    Anyone who canít go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker."
    - George Carlin

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