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  1. #951
    Member herbpixie's Avatar
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    Yeah, I know the thread is old, but I have more trouble with ENFPs than any other type. They're like sirens to me. I'm drawn in by the infectious giggling and having of the fun, but I am invariably caught up in a long talk about feelings. Usually what I have unintentionally done or said to hurt their feelings. Sometimes this is my own bluntness or messed up sense of humor. I fully admit that sometimes what I say comes across way more harshly than it is meant. As a clueless INTP, I'm often completely oblivious about what might offend someone. Many times, however, this is projection by the ENFP, and what I actually said has no logical connection to how they feel about what I said. Time and time again, I've gotten really close to an ENFP only to quietly withdraw when the emote fest becomes too much for me.

    For example, I have an ENFP friend who is married to a police officer. Her husband teaches a group of teenage kids who want to eventually become cops. The discussion went off topic and into clubs. I said, "I was in the debate club. No one in the club became a cop." She hears, "I think that debate club kids are really smart, and kids who want to become cops aren't intelligent enough to be a debater." I was quite taken aback, especially considering that her husband and I are friends. This led to a very long discussion about her feelings, which she prompty dropped when she became distracted.

    I've found this sort of misinterpretation/projection to be common with the ENFPs I have known. I have a whole lot of fun with them, and I don't mean to be hypercritical. Honestly, ENFPs make me laugh more than any other type. I just have to get away from them sometimes for my own sanity because their emotions can be rather overwhelming.

  2. #952
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbpixie View Post
    "I was in the debate club. No one in the club became a cop."
    I found what you wrote really interesting...and I feel compelled to respond...but I guess I got hung-up on the above and wanted to first ask...why did you say that? What was the reason you included that last little bit? You see...ENFPs will automatically...because of how our brains are wired...want to find a reason for everything however 'small or subtle'...and I'm just wondering what your reasoning was. Why did you feel it necessary to include...'No one in the club became a cop.'...?

  3. #953
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I found what you wrote really interesting...and I feel compelled to respond...but I guess I got hung-up on the above and wanted to first ask...why did you say that? What was the reason you included that last little bit? You see...ENFPs will automatically...because of how our brains are wired...want to find a reason for everything however 'small or subtle'...and I'm just wondering what your reasoning was. Why did you feel it necessary to include...'No one in the club became a cop.'...?
    Agreed. Without context, the cop becomes an obvious comparison to her husband. At the very least offensive, this seems the same as saying "I don't have anything to do with people like your husband."

  4. #954
    Member herbpixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I found what you wrote really interesting...and I feel compelled to respond...but I guess I got hung-up on the above and wanted to first ask...why did you say that? What was the reason you included that last little bit? You see...ENFPs will automatically...because of how our brains are wired...want to find a reason for everything however 'small or subtle'...and I'm just wondering what your reasoning was. Why did you feel it necessary to include...'No one in the club became a cop.'...?
    Because another person in the conversation spoke about a future cop in a club he was in. The conversation drifted to clubs in general. My only reason for saying that was to clarify that we were no longer on the subject of cops; we had moved on to clubs.

  5. #955
    Member herbpixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Agreed. Without context, the cop becomes an obvious comparison to her husband. At the very least offensive, this seems the same as saying "I don't have anything to do with people like your husband."
    The weird thing is that her husband used to be my roommate. We're close friends, so, given the context, the reaction seemed very bizarre to me. Sorry--I wasn't entirely clear about how the conversation progressed. There was a reason for including that, just not the reason that was interpreted.

    The other person in the conversation actually did say something overtly negative about police officers, and the ENFP in question didn't bat an eyelash at him. It was my statement to which she took offense. When I confronted her with this, she replied that my opinion was more important to her.
    Last edited by herbpixie; 05-22-2012 at 12:31 PM. Reason: Left out pertinent info

  6. #956
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I found what you wrote really interesting...and I feel compelled to respond...but I guess I got hung-up on the above and wanted to first ask...why did you say that? What was the reason you included that last little bit? You see...ENFPs will automatically...because of how our brains are wired...want to find a reason for everything however 'small or subtle'...and I'm just wondering what your reasoning was. Why did you feel it necessary to include...'No one in the club became a cop.'...?

  7. #957
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    some ENFPs can be angry, dogmatic, and hopelessly stubborn and hateful.
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  8. #958
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    I hate @Elfboy because he is actually a 3 w 4 in disguise who puts up a 7 front. lol jk

  9. #959
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I hate @Elfboy because he is actually a 3 w 4 in disguise who puts up a 7 front. lol jk
    lol most people who say that aren't kidding (both about the 3w4 and the hate LOL)
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Motivation: Dark Worker
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    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  10. #960
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    lol most people who say that aren't kidding (both about the 3w4 and the hate LOL)
    lol, I'm not kidding about the 3 w 4. You are just too much of a snoody bastard; it's so 3 w 4. You are not a core 7.

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