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  1. #81
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    I hate how enfp's take everything to heart. Everyone in the world can love them and then when one person doesn't they do everything they can to change that, almost destroying themselves in the process. It's not healthy!

    Luckily they're split personality comes and has a conversation that goes like this...
    Self 1: Dude what's wrong?
    Self 2: I've been ignored for two weeks man, i feel like shit. I understand now why people consider suicide an alternative...
    Self 1: Seriously? Come off it! Stop being a lil whiny ass. You're the coolest kid you know man!
    Self 2: Then why is she ignoring me?
    Self 1: Cause she needs a shrink and is scared and whatnot. Not your problem man. Buck up.
    Self 2: Wait what? I'm cool?
    Self 1: Hell yes! You're cool and funny and people love you.
    Self 2: Ah yeah they do! I totally forgot... man I missed me...
    Self 1: I missed you too man.

    Of course this was all hypothetical and um I in no way experienced this this week....um... I uh saw a friend, yeah! A friend go through it.... :whistles:
    Lol, this has been my experience with ENFPs as well. It makes you want to hug them and say, "Aw, come on, you're SOOO awesome!"

  2. #82
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    No, I love ENFPs! They can become emotionally frazzled and anxious just like the rest of us, but I relate to them well and enjoy their exciting and endearing mannerisms, jokes and thoughts. They're so fascinating and poetic, with so many dimensions. They're usually profoundly poetic and use the most bang-on, unique phrasings when they write. They often have a fascinating vigor for life, and a biting (I mean, OW!) wit too (when you piss them off or snub them). Actually, I'm thinking of one ENFP friend in particular when I write all this, so it probably doesn't apply to all ENFPs. But I love her, and I LVE you guys. *group hug*
    Aww. You've gotta love your type when you get this sort of response in a 'Hate me!' thread.

  3. #83
    Junior Member qazzaq's Avatar
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    ...well ..what I hate about ENFP's , and by default , myself, .. is...

    A) The laziness .
    It's the strong P that causes the trouble here... I wish I had some J, just a little ... and then maybe, just maybe, I could accomplish something great ...like saving the world , I'm like a lazy Superman,..
    I hate it, it's a curse.

    B) The semi-complete handover of decision making to introverted Feeling.
    This results in unreliability , and general flakiness.
    One moment they are really excited about an idea (like going to the rock concert) and make plans and pay for tickets,
    only to do a complete 180 later, on a whim ,because they "don't feel like it" .


    ...the list could go on, but I'm tired.
    ENFP

    Sorry, my spelling and grammar are horrible.
    without the spell check , I'd be lost.

  4. #84
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    i hate being me when i cant make a desicion, or procrastinate, oh god ive got tons to do and i turn into the bionic woman at three in the morning and remember something....then i'm studying till noon,papers everywhere, last minute thinking, gets me everywhere....
    hating confrontation, i just get all flustered....then think about it later when i'm not so overwhelmed and get angry at myself for not speaking up.
    conflict with someone i love, just gets me crying i cant get my words out straight and start slavering( or go into silence cos of fear ....but that stems from a twisting bullying aggressive ex.) ive obviously done something, then paranoia sets in.
    unless its someone that irritates, and ive no probs there
    and when someone dont love or like me...oooo, its makes me wanna love 'em more until they finally admit they think i'm ok, then i get all excited and feel fuzzy and i feel safe.

  5. #85
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    I'm the same way. I feel like I like discussions, but not confrontations. I like sweeping things under the rug.

    I feel like my dad might be an ENFP as well (we're the same in nearly everything else). And I hate being compared to him because he annoys me so much. He might be the only person I try to avoid versus try to get closer to. I don't like people knowing what I'm like.

    But then again, he's very much the type of person that wants to get things out in the open. I want to keep things hidden under the rug and pretend they're not there for the sake of the relationship.

    Whenever I talk about something I'm scared about talking, I tear up, even if it's not something I'm particularly emotionally attached to. It happened today; I know what I want to say and my words get jumbled and I tear up.

    It's annoying.

    But when someone pisses me off and gets me going political, I can find the words pretty quickly.

    Does anyone else feel like they're fair? I always feel like everyone else is so concerned about themselves and don't think about FAIRNESS, but that might just be because I always think I'm right and that everyone else is wrong.

    Maybe a better question would be address to non-ENFPs. Do you think that ENFPs tend to be more just or balanced?

    Without getting too political and without discussing specifics, how many ENFPs here are liberal? Conservative? Apathetic?

    I'm a staunch liberal and whenever I find myself siding with an issue, I think of it in a very global perspective and try to think of what would be fairest to EVERYONE (not just the majority).

  6. #86
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I used to struggle with vacillating between bluntly letting people how I feel and expressing a "negative" emotion like anger, irritation, disapproval.

    I think honestly, if my experience is indicative of the ENFP functions -- no matter how badly I wanted to or tried to make myself, it was SO FRICKIN HARD to be assertive in those situations.

    ENFPs are socially assertive in other ways, but not in the 'expressing negativity' way. I was alway AFRAID. Of what? Just AFRAID. And specificlaly afraid of the backlash I imagined I would get.

    So, again, the only way I got through it was repetition, repetition, repetition.

    I had to encounter a LOT of assholes and conflict -- i.e. "growth opportunities" and with each one just eke it out a little more.

    I knew if this 'gradual step by step' approach did not work, that one day I would just reach my limit and just say fuck it and go off on the world.

    I didn't quite do that, but I did reach my limit.

    I think ENFPs are very balance/fairness oriented, and when you look at the big picture, by a certain point in your life, you will have been a doormat and a chicken and been taken advantage of so many times in life, it is now your ethical DUTY to set the balance right by becoming a hardass.

    Does that help?

    Plus, seriously, once you go through the drill enough, you desensitize yourself. And you've seen enough folks tryingn to pull a fast one or rationalize or try to bully you or someone else that you have been there done that.

    Try imagining you are an ISTJ or ESTJ or ISTP or something and check that person but quick!

    Consider it an excercise in studying behavior.

  7. #87
    Junior Member qazzaq's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I

    I think ENFPs are very balance/fairness oriented, and when you look at the big picture, by a certain point in your life, you will have been a doormat and a chicken and been taken advantage of so many times in life, it is now your ethical DUTY to set the balance right by becoming a hardass.
    mmmmm. interesting point.
    I think there is a difference between being a doormat/chicken and looking at the big picture. I let lots of things slide that I probably shouldn't , and don't want to either, ....but I know that in the big picture those things don't really matter.
    ENFP

    Sorry, my spelling and grammar are horrible.
    without the spell check , I'd be lost.

  8. #88
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by qazzaq View Post
    mmmmm. interesting point.
    I think there is a difference between being a doormat/chicken and looking at the big picture. I let lots of things slide that I probably shouldn't , and don't want to either, ....but I know that in the big picture those things don't really matter.
    You know I agree, there's a fine line between being able to let something go because "you don't mind that much" and letting something go because "you don't want to deal with it"

    I think with ENFP, we are both global thinkers as well as care a lot about social harmony, so it's a blurry line as to the reason we let things go.

    I think it's a combo for me and sometimes I know intellectually I let someone off easy but overall I don't care, I'm just relieved "everything is okay"

    And sometimes I'm left fuming after the fact.

    My new rule of thumb now is I have 1 shot to deal with something. If I let it go in the moment, I let it go in the future. I don't dwell on things nor do I run that movie in my head of "what if". This is great motivation to be honest in the moment, do and say what I feel I need to, and let the cards fall where they may.

    And I don't think ENFP's give ourselves enough credit.

    I think by 'conflict' people on the thread are referring to ANGER and HOSTILITY and SHOUTING and VIOLENCE or the THREAT OF VIOLENCE. But most conflict is not that serious. Conflict happens everyday you leave your house and even when you stay in it. It's humans interacting and not all being robots or exactly the same.

    And we're PEOPLE people, that means we are hard-wired to know how to graciously handle conflict. Even when you think you are AVOIDING a potential conflict, you are actually handling it. I think ENFPs handle conflict without considering it's conflict.

    I think ENFPs don't give ourselves enough credit. Seriously, we're not wusses! Well, okay, I am a wuss in certain realms, but overall I think I embody the 'crusader' part of ENFP (remember, we're crusaders! fighting the good fight!)

  9. #89
    Senior Member Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Anyone else ever been stood up repeatedly by an ENFP (I think) "date"?

    Then tried to confront him/her about it, only to get some lame excuse for them forgetting about you that's delivered with those puppy-dog eyes, so you decide to give them another chance? Then they forget about you AGAIN?

    I'm laid-back, I'm NP, I'm not a stickler for tightly maintained schedules. But goddamnit if you say you're going to be around at 10:00, goddamn BE AROUND AT 10:00!
    Likes Alassea liked this post

  10. #90

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    I would never stick up a date... but im also not a woman

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