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  1. #851
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Time View Post
    Why dont you explain here how such actions can be justified! My ignorant self is unable to understand how such a personality can truly care about people and still possess characteristics (1)-(4). It seems to go against everything a rational creature would assume.
    Because all of us have maturing to do. Caring for others doesn't mean you won't accidentily harm them because of immature tendencies you're still trying to correct, or haven't even realized you possess. We aren't born wise and understanding. We grow into that. And meaning well doesn't mean executing well, unfortunately...

    Let's see...

    1) My personal values hold that I don't lie. Some might, because they want to protect you or not hurt your feelings. Exaggeration is something you might consider to be the case. And objectively you're probably right, but some of us experience things intensely, enjoy telling a good story and have a sucky memory with an overactive imagination. It kinda..gets tangled up. It's not meant to be malicious, it's meant to entertain.

    2) That's a matter of perspective. I do this all the time. I make sure people are aware of it though before I start, and that they know what the outcome will be. Took me a while to realize that othesr didn't work like that and that I had to build in those disclaimers to make sure I didn't hurt anyone. Also, it's not that I get tired with you, it's just that I only have a little bit of time and a lot of interesting people to meet. Each and everyone is different however and special in their own way. Some will be more dear to me than others, because I connect better with them. However, that does not mean that I don't also very much care for those that I don't have that connection with. Take it for what it is worth, I know this is a hard one to understand, from experience.

    3) Yes, this is true. What's so wrong about that? I won't though, if they ask me to do something against my Fi. Other than that, why on earth would I refuse a request from someone. I have no good reason to do so. I appreciate people helping me, why wouldn't I do the same for them ,especially if it's just a small thing?? I used to be even more like this when I was younger, as I..I dunno, I found it offensive to refuse people things, especially if it was a small effort required. Why would I be mean to them? Nowadays, I take more distance, check who the person in front of me is, and check my own schedule. But I still am very willing to help them out.

    4) Looking down isn't usually meant that way. It stems from the frustration that we cannot communicate our 'logic'. Fi is...hard to explain. It's also passionate, and very protective of what's important in our eyes. Since our memory sucks, we cannot tell you how many infinite patterns we went through and which ones they were, and how many associations we had to make to get to this result. All we know is that to us, this is true. And you hammering it as if it's a useless piece of junk, doesn't put us in a good mood. So expect to get hit back with a Te-hammer

    Oh and...we're not rational creatures in the traditional sense of the word
    Btw..neither are you, at least a part of you, or you wouldn't find yourself frustrated over being attracted to an irrational creature in the first place
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  2. #852
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    There is no reason to justify immaturity in personality types. All personality types have drawbacks.

    (1) I used to exaggerate, it made stories sound more interesting. Now either I state things exactly (not say 4 instead of 3) OR I do extreme exaggeration (I have 700 kids). Most people can follow the concept.

    (2) This can be true, but what usually happens is that people *think* ENFPs are flirting with everyone. We usually can see worth in everyone, so we are more apt to seem appreciative of all people. I've said this before, but when I was about 21 I was nice to some guy, and people I worked with said I flirted. I had no reason to flirt, it hadn't even crossed my mind, I was just being nice. He called and asked me on a date.

    ENFPs need to learn to balance other people's views on what flirting is and also their effect they have on other people. It can be a rush for an ENFP to flirt with people.

    It's almost a cycle in life (a) Being nice to everyone and smiling at people. (b) realizing people think you are flirting with them. (c) liking this flirting thing, which is really just being yourself (d) being more careful with how others perceive the flirting.

    (3) This can be a struggle until an ENFP matures and learns to balance wanting to please people with being able to phrase things in ways that are helpful and not (very) hurtful.

    (4) Yelling a view at an ENFP is never going to work, no matter what language it is couched in. It is more important to present interesting points and allow the ENFP to consider these points. Mutual understanding is more important than winning. (most of the time) I will usually mutate into the type of discussion the other person is having. If they are open and inviting then I will be too. If they unable to take time to listen to the other person then I will not be as understanding.

    Amar explained (5)

    Every type sucks, don't forget that

    I like to get ideas of things to work on from threads like this, I try not to respond or be defensive (I did that in one ENFP thread) It's a good growing experience. I only answered this because of the sweet demand of an answer.

  3. #853
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Time View Post
    Why dont you explain here how such actions can be justified! My ignorant self is unable to understand how such a personality can truly care about people and still possess characteristics (1)-(4). It seems to go against everything a rational creature would assume.
    not everyone are rational creatures. you cant understand others if you judge them before you understand them, if you are unable to understand them, dont judge them, or it just makes it harder(or impossible) for you to understand them.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  4. #854
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Time View Post
    Why dont you explain here how such actions can be justified! My ignorant self is unable to understand how such a personality can truly care about people and still possess characteristics (1)-(4). It seems to go against everything a rational creature would assume.
    Just because you're bitter and have a skewed perception doesn't mean the actual actions (and not how they were perceived) need justification. If you don't like ENFPs stay away from them.

  5. #855
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Well this is an "Hate an ENFP" and some people take that to mean "did you have a bad experience with one ENFP and hate them all now? Tell us why!"

    eta: OP says "anything at all, have at it" so I think his post fit.

  6. #856
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Time View Post

    (5) ENFP's like to think and openly declare that they are looking at people's interiors (their inner souls), when most of them usually decide on a person (and his state of affairs) before even getting to know them. They look at the exterior, believe it or not. Overall, they judge a person by their looks, nothing much more than that.

    True and yet not true, I don't judge people by their looks, I judge them by their "looks", ie I see something in their eyes that creeps me out and that's what I judge on.

    The only times I have ever ignored my instant reaction to a persons "looks" I ended up letting evil into my life.

    In a split second I can suss out a persons nice factor based on their "looks" and I am always right it turns out.

    I know that most ENFPs will refuse to acknowledge the above, a typical reaction (see #4).
    Ah, that ol' tactic.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  7. #857
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Anyway, I came on this thread to say, I hate ENFP's because you never just come right out and say it, enough with the excuses, just spit the truth out you weak wally. (yes, this goes to me too sometimes haha)
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  8. #858
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    eta: OP says "anything at all, have at it" so I think his post fit.
    Yeah, I know. That's what I'm doing too.



    I will agree to (1), though.

  9. #859
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    ^^^Agreed...vibes are important. Though it won't keep me away from them, it will make me be extra careful until i can pinpoint where the vibe comes from..what the cause of it is so I can take the precise precautions for it not to be an issue.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  10. #860
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Actually I hate ENFPs for that flaky flaw, that flaw that makes us disappoint people and space on promises, just because we're off doing something else, being distracted or down right procrastinating.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

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