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  1. #561
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I often don't bother with correcting ENFPs because they take criticism so poorly and don't often change their ways. It seems pointless then to me to even take action because the cost outweighs the benefit until things get out of hand.
    Ditto this. Wow, I've been agreeing with nearly every comment in the last few pages.

  2. #562
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I often don't bother with correcting ENFPs because they take criticism so poorly and don't often change their ways. It seems pointless then to me to even take action because the cost outweighs the benefit until things get out of hand.
    More seriously though, the only way to make me change my ways is to prove me I'm harming others in the process.

    Remember, you are talking with ENFPs here. We are generally happy and easy-going and get along with most. If there's something that needs changing it better be for a good enough reason. We aren't gonna change just to please you. That's not how we role.
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  3. #563
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I often don't bother with correcting ENFPs because they take criticism so poorly and don't often change their ways. It seems pointless then to me to even take action because the cost outweighs the benefit until things get out of hand.
    This is exactly my experience with INFPs and ENFJs. Also about INFPs: telling me how you felt negatively about something I said isn't criticism. It is you airing your grievances and I mostly don't care. If you can provide actual constructive criticism as opposed to "This was mean and it hurt my feelings and don't do that again" then I will listen. If all I have to go on was that I upset someone (someone who I already think is waaaaaay to sensitive) then I am going to slot that shit away with "unhelpful information."

  4. #564
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Yes, because I'm trying to explain an unjustifiably dramatic behaviour on the ENFPs part, which is what they were hinting at, from what I understood. That's the only way I could see myself even remotely riled up, anyway.
    No, the ones I know just get defensive that you are criticizing them. They seem to be blind to any faults that they have and instead blame it on the circumstances or interpretation of events. I don't believe I've ever seen an ENFP (irl) admit to a fault. This behavior seems counterproductive to the NF goal of self-awareness and improvement.

  5. #565
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I often don't bother with correcting ENFPs because they take criticism so poorly and don't often change their ways. It seems pointless then to me to even take action because the cost outweighs the benefit until things get out of hand.
    hmm...i haven't caught up but...just as response to this. who are you to be correcting enfps anyway...do we walk around trying to correct you? i doubt it...i sure as hell don't do that so if we don't seem to love criticism or being corrected it has a lot to do with personal rights ya know...like you do what you want and i'll do what i want...ya know...people need to stop expecting others to follow their rules and they won't be disappointed.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison
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  6. #566
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    No, the ones I know just get defensive that you are criticizing them. They seem to blind to any faults that they have and instead blame it on the circumstances or interpretation of events. I don't believe I've ever seen an ENFP (irl) admit to a fault. This behavior seems counterproductive to the NF goal of self-awareness and improvement.
    You know what? I'd like to get to the bottom of this, but I think I'd need some concrete examples.

    I will say I believe more in my ability to read others than other abilities to read me (dunno if that is true for all ENFPs). I guess that's why they call the ENFP the "psychologist" in some instances too...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    hmm...i haven't caught up but...just as response to this. who are you to be correcting enfps anyway...do we walk around trying to correct you? i doubt it...i sure as hell don't do that so if we don't seem to love criticism or being corrected it has a lot to do with personal rights ya know...like you do what you want and i'll do what i want...ya know...people need to stop expecting others to follow their rules and they won't be disappointed.
    Agreed, and something that should probably have been mentioned by now. There's a reason you don't see hippies enslaving people in Africa. :P Being free spirited is about "live and let live".
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  7. #567
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    No, the ones I know just get defensive that you are criticizing them. They seem to blind to any faults that they have and instead blame it on the circumstances or interpretation of events. I don't believe I've ever seen an ENFP (irl) admit to a fault. This behavior seems counterproductive to the NF goal of self-awareness and improvement.
    This is pretty much what I've noticed. I think ENFPs are much more likely to accept faults and go over past criticism when they are alone and Fi-ing out.

  8. #568
    Senior Member Rhapsody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    No, no I do this too. I'm a giant flake but when I plan, I plan like a MOTHERFUCKER. Unfortunately if other people mess up the plan I get pissed. About as pissed as I get at myself whenever I am in a difficult situation caused entirely by my own lack of planning.
    LOL, ok, yeah, this is my friend to a T. And that's a good point that she must get pissed at herself for her flakiness, too, but that's harder to see since she'd just keep that to herself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    My ex ENFP roommate was the biggest hypocrite that ever lived. And the whole not acknowledging criticism thing resonates well. I'm hanging out with a male ENFP right now and he doesn't seem to be like that. He's in his late twenties though so perhaps he's an enlightened ENFP lol.
    The friend I was talking about can really come across as a hypocrite, too, passionately espousing one belief and then acting in complete opposition to it a few months down the line. I've always thought this was because of her Ne shifting to a new perspective, thoughi.e. she had actually changed her beliefs by the time she changed her actions, but because she hadn't notified the outside world about it her actions looked hypocritical. I don't know if this is what you're talking about with your roommate, though!

    Any type can be hypocritical, though, and it's definitely not a label I would slap on most ENFPs. My dad is an ENFP, and he's one of the most self-actualized human beings I know. Mature ENFPs are amazing. (Although if you asked my mom she'd probably beg to differ )

  9. #569
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    You know what? I'd like to get to the bottom of this, but I think I'd need some concrete examples.
    Here's a concrete example:

    ENFP guy is consistently flaking out on people. He makes promises and never keeps them. He allows people to put their trust in him and doesn't follow through. I say "Hey ENFP guy! What are you doing? Why bother making plans you don't keep?" He replies "I forgot/something came up." After a few more discussions about this same behavior he will say "Why don't people just get off my back? I need to do my own thing. I'm not hurting anybody." In effect blaming the circumstances, and other people and their interpretations.

    I will say I believe more in my ability to read others than other abilities to read me (dunno if that is true for all ENFPs). I guess that's why they call the ENFP the "psychologist" in some instances too.
    What a trite remark. Nearly every NF believes this. It is hardly true, and actually irrelevant to what we're discussing. No one is reading into anything; this is blatant behavior.

  10. #570
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    You know what? I'd like to get to the bottom of this, but I think I'd need some concrete examples.
    Me, too! I think this is incredibly interesting because I cannot NOT think about criticisms of me. I have to mull them over in my head because I cannot let go of the possibility that they are right and will not stop until this possibility has been explored fully.

    I have found the criticisms of other NFs to be vague and difficult to understand (not as much the INFJs, though. They're pretty straightforward). I do think about them but it often comes down to the other NF was annoyed because they misunderstood my intentions and even then I always apologise for my tone/ my phrasing/ some other perceived discourtesy. It is often a matter of what they heard vs. what I actually said (or felt I said) and I do try to clear that up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I will say I believe more in my ability to read others than other abilities to read me (dunno if that is true for all ENFPs). I guess that's why they call the ENFP the "psychologist" in some instances too...
    Man, it is my belief in my ability to read people that gets me into trouble most often. I have decided to stop listening to the voice in my head that believes it understands the motivations of others. That little voice is full of shit. This is easier said than done, obviously.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Agreed, and something that should probably have been mentioned by now. There's a reason you don't see hippies enslaving people in Africa. :P Being free spirited is about "live and let live".
    This I disagree with. I criticise people all the time. I find that the best way to resolve a situation is to discuss it. I do not believe in the validity of emotionally motivated criticisms. Everything can be resolved if everyone is open about their feelings and orients themselves off the facts of a situation. The truth is probably the best way to actually solve an interpersonal problem.

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