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  1. #551
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    It is possible indeed to be so overwhelmed by your own emotions that you no longer sense others. I think it happens mostly to young ENFPs who are pretty much drowning in their own feelings and still learning how to swim. It's unlikely that you're gonna pay attention to anyone else drowning at that point.

    Nowadays, I actually am careful to go full Ne, because of that. Coz when I get in the Ne-zone and basking in that feeling, I don't notice other peoples reactions as fast as I normally would, which can cause bruised feelings when I go overboard. Also, when I feel I'm drowning in bad emotions, I quarantine myself, as I know I won't be able to control my emotions spilling onto others. I need to get a grip first.

    INFPs have the same main functions as us though,..you don't experience this yourself?
    Not particularly, no. I'm always aware of other people's feelings even when upset. I can choose to overlook them if I'm hysterical I guess, but that doesn't happen to much.

  2. #552
    Senior Member Rhapsody's Avatar
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    I don't think I've ever met an ENFP I didn't get along with, but since this is the hate thread ...

    One thing that bugs me in a close ENFP friend of mine is when she switches back and forth between Ne+Fi mode and Ne+Te mode (or maybe it's just pure Te mode). One minute she's flaky and fluffy, a huge procrastinator who couldn't get somewhere on time if you paid her ... the next minute she's turned into this Te taskmaster who can't stop complaining about other people's flakiness. It gives me whiplash! I'm cool with her Te, I just wish she'd be consistent/less hypocritical about it. I mean, get on top of your own life, girlfriend, before you start trying to clean other people's houses. :steam:

    She's the only ENFP I've seen do this, though, so it must be more of an individual thing.
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  3. #553
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    This is my real problem with this. I don't mind any fuss as long as we can actually work out the issue. I don't know. I thought it was just a J need for closure, but if others think this way too...


    She travels and we're on the same continent! What's the last letter of her name?



    Exactly! Focusing on being criticized instead of the actual criticism. I have a strong love of ENxPs, and I only comment out of the goodness of my heart
    C

  4. #554
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhapsody View Post
    I don't think I've ever met an ENFP I didn't get along with, but since this is the hate thread ...

    One thing that bugs me in a close ENFP friend of mine is when she switches back and forth between Ne+Fi mode and Ne+Te mode (or maybe it's just pure Te mode). One minute she's flaky and fluffy, a huge procrastinator who couldn't get somewhere on time if you paid her ... the next minute she's turned into this Te taskmaster who can't stop complaining about other people's flakiness. It gives me whiplash! I'm cool with her Te, I just wish she'd be consistent/less hypocritical about it. I mean, get on top of your own life, girlfriend, before you start trying to clean other people's houses. :steam:

    She's the only ENFP I've seen do this, though, so it must be more of an individual thing.
    No, no I do this too. I'm a giant flake but when I plan, I plan like a MOTHERFUCKER. Unfortunately if other people mess up the plan I get pissed. About as pissed as I get at myself whenever I am in a difficult situation caused entirely by my own lack of planning.
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  5. #555
    Senior Member Rhapsody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Yeah. I think what I meant by self-control was knowing how to separate the true feelings from all the stress. I was just trying to make it clear I think facing things head on is healthier in the long run. It's an important skill to perfect.
    Oh ok, I see what you're saying now. Yeah, facing things head on (and untangling the feelings that matter from the rest of the mess) is still something I'm trying to get a handle on.

  6. #556
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhapsody View Post
    I don't think I've ever met an ENFP I didn't get along with, but since this is the hate thread ...

    One thing that bugs me in a close ENFP friend of mine is when she switches back and forth between Ne+Fi mode and Ne+Te mode (or maybe it's just pure Te mode). One minute she's flaky and fluffy, a huge procrastinator who couldn't get somewhere on time if you paid her ... the next minute she's turned into this Te taskmaster who can't stop complaining about other people's flakiness. It gives me whiplash! I'm cool with her Te, I just wish she'd be consistent/less hypocritical about it. I mean, get on top of your own life, girlfriend, before you start trying to clean other people's houses. :steam:

    She's the only ENFP I've seen do this, though, so it must be more of an individual thing.
    My ex ENFP roommate was the biggest hypocrite that ever lived. And the whole not acknowledging criticism thing resonates well. I'm hanging out with a male ENFP right now and he doesn't seem to be like that. He's in his late twenties though so perhaps he's an enlightened ENFP lol.

  7. #557
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I can only speak for myself, but I never really have any regrets in personal relationships. I am what I am, and always strive to be completely transparent. You either like me or you don't. So if you lead me to believe you like me and keep ignoring the stuff you don't like about me for the sake of harmony, but then say something like "actually I find this particularly unnerving in ya", you kinda leave me baffled because I'm left thinking that our friendship or whatever was better than this and you already felt comfortable enough in the past to address it at the time. And if not...why?
    You're assuming that the person took issues with previous behavior, instead of just the current. I don't know if that is what Sub or Jen were talking about, but it's not what I was talking about. I do appreciate my relationships and don't want to cause undue conflict, but I will speak up at the time of the issue. I'm a blunt person. But I don't know if this is just a personal trait of mine. My Fe could actually use some work.

  8. #558
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Yes that could very well be. And it's easily explained too.

    I can only speak for myself, but I never really have any regrets in personal relationships. I am what I am, and always strive to be completely transparent. You either like me or you don't. So if you lead me to believe you like me and keep ignoring the stuff you don't like about me for the sake of harmony, but then say something like "actually I find this particularly unnerving in ya", you kinda leave me baffled because I'm left thinking that our friendship or whatever was better than this and you already felt comfortable enough in the past to address it at the time. And if not...why?

    Don't want this to come across as bitching about every single thing all the time. lol, I'm pretty chill. Which is why I don't get these dramatic ENFPs people keep talking about.




    I can understand this in the context of "it's a matter of principle". If it's out of the blue you leave me wondering why the hell this was never brought up before.
    I often don't bother with correcting ENFPs because they take criticism so poorly and don't often change their ways. It seems pointless then to me to even take action because the cost outweighs the benefit until things get out of hand.

  9. #559
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I don't know what you considering bitch territory but from my experience, if I generally get along well with everybody (i never really had a big argument with any of my friends) is because I kill conflict right away by embracing it. Speak my mind at all times.

    I've come to the conclusion that most arguments tend to be about bottled up stuff. If people had the balls to just say what's on their mind everyone would live much more peacefully. But that evil Fe is always lurking...weaklings! Preserving the harmony? NO thanks. Not at the cost of truthfulness!
    I agree with this wholeheartedly but the response I get most often to what I believe is total honesty is either anger or tears. I am often accused of being mean and cold because (for example) if, say, someone is complaining about girlfriend troubles and I can see a direct connection between their behaviour and their problem, I will tell them how it is their fault and how to correct it rather than go the "That sucks, man." route. I have found this kind of response to be the most valuable to me because it gets me out of my Fi-Si a blooo bloo blooo cave and into Ne-Te problem solving mode. I try to give people the response I would find most helpful in a given situation but I always get yelled at for being unsympathetic and bitchy. As far as I could tell, trying to solve their problem at all was me being sympathetic.

  10. #560
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    You're assuming that the person took issues with previous behavior, instead of just the current.
    Yes, because I'm trying to explain an unjustifiably dramatic behaviour on the ENFPs part, which is what they were hinting at, from what I understood. That's the only way I could see myself even remotely riled up, anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I don't know if that is what Sub or Jen were talking about, but it's not what I was talking about. I do appreciate my relationships and don't want to cause undue conflict, but I will speak up at the time of the issue. I'm a blunt person. But I don't know if this is just a personal trait of mine. My Fe could actually use some work.
    Well if it's about taking issues with something new, it would have to be a comment that really went against my core for me to get annoyed.



    But I'm just one ENFP anyway.I must say though, this beehive mentality of pinpointing type-specific traits is not really my thing. There's just so much I can't relate to at all in this thread alone...

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I often don't bother with correcting ENFPs because they take criticism so poorly and don't often change their ways. It seems pointless then to me to even take action because the cost outweighs the benefit until things get out of hand.
    Hey, I do have a heart. If you smell I might not tell you until it gets out of hand myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    I agree with this wholeheartedly but the response I get most often to what I believe is total honesty is either anger or tears. I am often accused of being mean and cold because (for example) if, say, someone is complaining about girlfriend troubles and I can see a direct connection between their behaviour and their problem, I will tell them how it is their fault and how to correct it rather than go the "That sucks, man." route. I have found this kind of response to be the most valuable to me because it gets me out of my Fi-Si a blooo bloo blooo cave and into Ne-Te problem solving mode. I try to give people the response I would find most helpful in a given situation but I always get yelled at for being unsympathetic and bitchy. As far as I could tell, trying to solve their problem at all was me being sympathetic.
    Well, when it comes to advice (i was talking in a broader context of reacting to something I don't like or something), I'll strive to make the person arrive to his/her own conclusions. Using questions instead of accusations works better for my experience. Make them wonder about they've done wrong or not instead of telling them they did.

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