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  1. #531
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Reading this thread is very interesting - it's amusing how uncannily similar and dissimilar I am to other ENFPs....

    Say more...

  2. #532
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I lived with an ENFP and she was a slob and disrespectful. Not intentionally. It was more of an immaturity thing. If only she knew how to self reflect. She also seemed to be incredibly emotionally manipulative with the men she dated and was reckless with other people's hearts. Aside from the weird emotional sadism and irresponsibility she was charismatic and genuinely kind. I would never live with her again though. You could not pay me to.
    Likes Alassea liked this post

  3. #533
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Aside from the weird emotional sadism ... she was ... genuinely kind.
    Does not compute.
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    Likes Alassea liked this post

  4. #534
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    Does not compute.
    She was insecure and often did and said things that deeply hurt guys to get a reaction/validation. Aside from the emotional blackmail she was generally a generous and loving soul. Basically she wasn't truly mean spirited, just incredibly unperceptive of other people's feelings and unstable. I guess when you're caught up in your own world of melodrama you can overlook other people's feelings and hurt them.

  5. #535
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    It is possible indeed to be so overwhelmed by your own emotions that you no longer sense others. I think it happens mostly to young ENFPs who are pretty much drowning in their own feelings and still learning how to swim. It's unlikely that you're gonna pay attention to anyone else drowning at that point.

    Nowadays, I actually am careful to go full Ne, because of that. Coz when I get in the Ne-zone and basking in that feeling, I don't notice other peoples reactions as fast as I normally would, which can cause bruised feelings when I go overboard. Also, when I feel I'm drowning in bad emotions, I quarantine myself, as I know I won't be able to control my emotions spilling onto others. I need to get a grip first.

    INFPs have the same main functions as us though,..you don't experience this yourself?
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  6. #536
    Senior Member Rhapsody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    It is possible indeed to be so overwhelmed by your own emotions that you no longer sense others. I think it happens mostly to young ENFPs who are pretty much drowning in their own feelings and still learning how to swim. It's unlikely that you're gonna pay attention to anyone else drowning at that point.

    Nowadays, I actually am careful to go full Ne, because of that. Coz when I get in the Ne-zone and basking in that feeling, I don't notice other peoples reactions as fast as I normally would, which can cause bruised feelings when I go overboard. Also, when I feel I'm drowning in bad emotions, I quarantine myself, as I know I won't be able to control my emotions spilling onto others. I need to get a grip first.

    INFPs have the same main functions as us though,..you don't experience this yourself?
    I relate completely to the bolded bits, so I'd agree that this is something that all xNFPs can fall into. I've seen a good ENFP friend lash out in this state before, but I've also done it myself. Self-quarantine really is the only way to go sometimes.

  7. #537
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quarantine, my ass. Learn some self-control.

  8. #538
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I lived with an ENFP and she was a slob and disrespectful. Not intentionally. It was more of an immaturity thing. If only she knew how to self reflect. She also seemed to be incredibly emotionally manipulative with the men she dated and was reckless with other people's hearts. Aside from the weird emotional sadism and irresponsibility she was charismatic and genuinely kind. I would never live with her again though. You could not pay me to.
    Sounds like we know the same person...her name begin with M?

  9. #539
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Sometimes the rampant and open idealism can be rather grating... like when I take my ENFP brother on vacation to see one of the wonders of the world and am unable to take it in or enjoy it because he's grumbling and complaining in my ear the whole time, very vociferously, about how disgusted and disappointed and upset he is that there are - GASP! - souvenir shops everywhere!

    Cos like, you know, he expected it to be all pristine and full of high brow super respectful middle class graduates and only the most tasteful and relevant and organic locally sourced ethically traded hand made exquisite souvenirs to be sold!

    Also, I think they sorta need to be adored a bit too much sometimes, so that the slightest expression, however calm or respectful, of disapproval or disagreement with a way that they've behaved can be taken as a great attack on them and they react very very defensively. Whilst all the time trying to pin the blame for what they call "the argument" (but which needn't have been one if they'd responded as calmly as you initiated) on you, projecting their own oversensitivity onto you.

    I've noticed a tendency in my brother and another couple of ENFP's that I know, to be just incapable of ever apologizing. They have an image of themselves as being very gracious and generous and all that, but if you actually put it to the test you find that to them it's all about them, no matter how much you say it's not about criticizing or attacking them but about trying to express how you feel, they still seem much more intent on just shutting you up and they're happy to sweep it under the carpet without giving you the chance to properly have your say, no matter how frustrated or upset that leaves you, as long as they don't have to listen to anything that might imply that they're not perfect, and as long as the "conflict" ends. They use the word "conflict" to mean "somebody speaking in a voice that isn't either completely flat or jokey and laughing, particularly when they're talking about me".
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  10. #540
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Also, I think they sorta need to be adored a bit too much sometimes, so that the slightest expression, however calm or respectful, of disapproval or disagreement with a way that they've behaved can be taken as a great attack on them and they react very very defensively. Whilst all the time trying to pin the blame for what they call "the argument" (but which needn't have been one if they'd responded as calmly as you initiated) on you, projecting their own oversensitivity onto you.

    I've noticed a tendency in my brother and another couple of ENFP's that I know, to be just incapable of ever apologizing. They have an image of themselves as being very gracious and generous and all that, but if you actually put it to the test you find that to them it's all about them, no matter how much you say it's not about criticizing or attacking them but about trying to express how you feel, they still seem much more intent on just shutting you up and they're happy to sweep it under the carpet without giving you the chance to properly have your say, no matter how frustrated or upset that leaves you, as long as they don't have to listen to anything that might imply that they're not perfect, and as long as the "conflict" ends. They use the word "conflict" to mean "somebody speaking in a voice that isn't either completely flat or jokey and laughing, particularly when they're talking about me".
    I totally agree with this.

    Scary.

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