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  1. #511
    Senior Member stigmatica's Avatar
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    If I were to dislike an ENFP, it would have everything to do with an action on the persons part that has nothing to do with their personality.

  2. #512
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Apropos to this thread is someone's signature, I can't remember whose anymore.

    "I'd rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I am not"

    I have no trouble being hated for having a different (annoying for many) style of argument. I'll even add a compulsive need for being understood to the mix.

    To other ENFPs, I've come across two types of ENFPs in my own experience in real life. This disparity is what led to my confusion regarding typing myself. One type really avoids conflict. Is this just one type of ENFP? Is this, in your opinion, a less developed ENFP?

    The other, the type I identify with more does not avoid conflict. In fact, we prefer to highlight any undercurrent of disagreement early and confront it head on in our own unique style. Is this other people's experience?
    i haven't really seen the type that avoids conflict or keeps quiet to preserve harmony but i would never describe myself as combative in anyway really but the second i have an issue with something...i say it...to whoever but i'd like to think i have a certain way of doing it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #513
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Lady X, I feel the same way. Conflict must be unearthed and addressed or ulcers may appear. I'll always use our preferred style first but if that doesn't work (the other person lacks those skills, is being less open to understanding my point of view), I'll use a more confrontational death match style and enjoy that too.

    Maybe the people I've met were immature and their conflict-avoidance had less to do with MBTI type and more to do with them as individuals. I just don't know many ENFPs in real life. The one I dated was definitely conflict averse.

    Slight digression -- I read somewhere (I know, my non-detail oriented brain is so not useful in these situations) that ENFPs are the type likely to have the most successful relationships (once they decide to have one of course). I wonder if this is related to our discussion style. The ENTP - discussion with SO thread is pretty interesting. I wonder if our ability and compulsive need to see the other person's point of view may make us good partners. Our built-in empathy (low in my individual case) makes us good potential SOs?

  4. #514
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I hate how enfp's want to make everyone happy!

  5. #515
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    The problem is identifying what is a conflict and what is actually light hearted banter. Sometimes I don't want to joke around with my ENFP friends because they take it too seriously and I have to spend hours doing damage control and reassurance. It seems like every time I hang out with one of my buddies, I know that 'see ya later' is not the end. Text messages follow about an hour later.

  6. #516
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Lady X, I feel the same way. Conflict must be unearthed and addressed or ulcers may appear. I'll always use our preferred style first but if that doesn't work (the other person lacks those skills, is being less open to understanding my point of view), I'll use a more confrontational death match style and enjoy that too.

    Maybe the people I've met were immature and their conflict-avoidance had less to do with MBTI type and more to do with them as individuals. I just don't know many ENFPs in real life. The one I dated was definitely conflict averse.

    Slight digression -- I read somewhere (I know, my non-detail oriented brain is so not useful in these situations) that ENFPs are the type likely to have the most successful relationships (once they decide to have one of course). I wonder if this is related to our discussion style. The ENTP - discussion with SO thread is pretty interesting. I wonder if our ability and compulsive need to see the other person's point of view may make us good partners. Our built-in empathy (low in my individual case) makes us good potential SOs?
    oh for sure...i can DO aggressive too. it's just usually not necessary.

    and yeah i think we can generally figure out how to communicate with anyone so we can maintain the relationship as long as we're genuinely interested.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #517
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    The problem is identifying what is a conflict and what is actually light hearted banter. Sometimes I don't want to joke around with my ENFP friends because they take it too seriously and I have to spend hours doing damage control and reassurance. It seems like every time I hang out with one of my buddies, I know that 'see ya later' is not the end. Text messages follow about an hour later.
    I think this really speaks to the miscommunication that exists between ENFPs and ENTPs. In my own case, I always assume its light-hearted banter until proven otherwise.

    Perhaps that's why ENFPs like smilies - they are the signs we use to indicate when we are perceiving light-hearted banter versus a more serious disagreement (I say this only half-jokingly because in real life these may be replaced by the disarming, "you know I'm kidding, right?"). Perhaps some ENFPs need this clarification more than others?

    I can see why this is frustrating because I would consider it killing a joke if I had to "explain" it was a joke every time. Similarly, the subtlety would be lost, making it less enjoyable. On the other hand, maybe the folks you refer to are just more sensitive?

    I recommend wearing more peace signs. Those can never be misunderstood.

  8. #518
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    NF signs:





    NT signs:

  9. #519
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Give us credit for a little more edge than that, won't you? I'll take your peace signs and put them on my bad ass VW van.


    I really enjoyed the Geek gang signs.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  10. #520
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Give us credit for a little more edge than that, won't you? I'll take your peace signs and put them on my bad ass VW van.


    I really enjoyed the Geek gang signs.
    for real...i'm with you girl...do people not get how very bad ass we are? wth i'm disappointed.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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