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  1. #381
    Senior Member Xellotath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    Discussion for the sake of discussion? Conceiving of it's easy. Taking part? Dudes, gimmie a break, I'm carrying around a monster Ni here!

    Besides, the deal with the million questions and the delay on taking a position isn't just P being P. It's trust. It takes you guys a while to decide if someone can be trusted to know all of the uncertainties you have on a given question (or even what the real question is), and meanwhile you can entertain them with some colourful, curious fragment.

    And how I do with the fragment is a test too. So, yay for Ne and tactical Te.
    Maybe you're right.
    Maybe at the root of it all we don't trust others and have thousands of different happy masks and intellectual fragments to endlessly entertain others with, while secretely evaluating their performance and reactions to them.
    Good thing in most cases its all guided by our ultra-idealistic [and sometimes childish] Fi's, huh?
    Sure talking to us is to step in a minefield. But its a very pleasant one, wouldn't you agree? As a general rule, I feel compelled to make others feel at ease when they get caught in my web. I'll change the colors to match their preferences and put on some nice music in the background..

    I must have read somewhere that maybe the architecture of an ENFP revolves around protecting an oversensitive Fi. [Careful though, I just threw at you another one of those fragments you seem to dislike..]

  2. #382
    Senior Member scattershot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    Besides, the deal with the million questions and the delay on taking a position isn't just P being P.
    For me, sometimes it really is just uncertainty, especially with political issues. Ne makes me see that both sides have a valid argument, so I often have a hard time judging which one is better.

    But like Sy said, if it's something I feel strongly about, I'm pretty damn confident in defending my opinion. Maybe I'm just a different kind of ENFP, but I don't really have issues with trusting someone with my opinion. I can have an intense debate with a total stranger if it's something I actually do feel strongly about.
    "I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." Frederick Douglass

  3. #383
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scattershot View Post
    For me, sometimes it really is just uncertainty, especially with political issues. Ne makes me see that both sides have a valid argument, so I often have a hard time judging which one is better.

    But like Sy said, if it's something I feel strongly about, I'm pretty damn confident in defending my opinion. Maybe I'm just a different kind of ENFP, but I don't really have issues with trusting someone with my opinion. I can have an intense debate with a total stranger if it's something I actually do feel strongly about.
    right...i guess that's true most of the time for me...except not really a debate because if i'm that confident in something someone elses opinion really won't matter to me...but i'll defend it if necessary...but in other cases if i'm unsure i will just ask a million questions...and then maybe i will come to have an opinion on it after i've gathered enough information.

  4. #384
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    It's just an intuition. A sense of decisions being made while I've been directed to look elsewhere.

    That spiderweb approach is difficult to deal with. I'm aware (somehow) of it being legitimate. Also that it seems to trip me up. I'm good at what I do except when I have half of what I need to know.

    But then, who says I need to know. The stories and ideas and questions aren't mine. Why should I know everything that goes with them?

    I tend to volunteer understandings. I tend to blurt stuff out. In recent times I'm aware of exactly once deliberately withholding information. I'm aware of it because I announced that I would be doing it.

    Conceivably though there's all sorts of styles of talking I do that look defensive to others. Dunno. If there's some weird thing I think the duals are doing, there has to be something correspondingly irritating on my side of the fence.




    Aw lookit, the ENFPs made me emo.

  5. #385
    Senior Member scattershot's Avatar
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    Have you tried asking the ENFP why they're asking so many questions? If somebody asked me "why do you want to know?" I'd tell them if I had a particular agenda in mind or if I was just gathering info.

    Something else I just thought of...sometimes when I do that, it's because my Ne has a vague idea of what I'm getting at, but I need more details to put it all into something concrete. It's like I see the web of connections between things, but don't have enough of the actual dots to make sense of it yet. Ne gives me too many possibilites - It could be this...or it could be that other thing, so I better ask more questions to narrow down the options.

    And I can't speak for all the ENFPs, but I personally INTJs. I can't think of anything my INTJ friend does that irritates me.
    "I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." Frederick Douglass

  6. #386
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I don't hate ENFPs but I am not a big fan of them .



    In short problems mostly come down to TJ vs FP problems and interaction styles.

    The thing is that typical ENFP is too positive and idealistic for me and I am usually too cold and calculated for them.

  7. #387
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Ah well, I only bitch because they're so damned attractive.
    Likes Alassea liked this post

  8. #388
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scattershot View Post

    And I can't speak for all the ENFPs, but I personally INTJs. I can't think of anything my INTJ friend does that irritates me.
    My INTJ roomate is pretty much the best ever. He has understood now that I ask too many questions mostly because I just want to know. And he likes giving me answers and helping me plan things!

  9. #389
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    No, I don't hate the enfps... My IRL enfp friend has suddenly woken up and realized that things in her physical environment were not okay and so, it has resulted in her projecting a lot of her existential angst (what career move now? where to live now? who in my life now?) on me... Some of the blame was justified but not all. It has become a pattern that I recognize now. Feeling rotten and trapped in an unsatisfying career or life = feeling crappy = acting it out against friends who care too much and get too close. As a result, I have been running for cover... I don't know if you could call this an enfp in the shadows. But hell hath no fury than an enfp in the shadow methinks. Nothing is good, everything is criticised and everything and I mean everything is wrong and messed up. Nothing satisfies. Plus a lot of 'keep away' and then shortly afterwards, 'please pay attention to me'. Many mixed and contradictory signals...Plus when she is trying to get to grips with what is ailing her, she will also try to fix ME at the same time! Na thanks!

    Despite thinking that I understand the underlying dynamic, I don't voice it out and therefore don't get any feedback as to whether I have hit home. A few years back, I had put my finger on some uncomfy truth and that had resulted in a verbal lashing out. This same uncomfy truth has dawned on her for some time now but I refrain from saying, 'see I told you so a long time back'... Some truths are not good to tell and one has to let the scales fall off their eyes in due time...

    My RL enfp seems to me like a little girl with a big heartache and I am this teddy bear that is talked to, punched, cried over and often times, put on the shelf, to be hugged again and put back on the shelf again...

  10. #390
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    Sorry, dudes, if there's one ENFP trait I can't grasp, it's undying love for INTJs. If it's required that I go out and get one, I should probably just either stab myself in the head or change my type now.

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