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Thread: Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!

  1. #1071
    Queen hunter Array Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
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    The whole ADHD thing is generally pretty hard to deal with when it happens. (and ENFPs are prone to have such moments)
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  2. #1072
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    Dec 2013


    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Fwiw, this could be a miscommunication - ENFPs tend to empathise by sharing similar stories, by associating them to their own experience, to show the other person that you're not alone. Another possibility is that they're not aware that you're actually needing to talk about this, but are just venting and that this is a 'mutual' griping session in which they can join in.

    It's usually not meant to be competitive in any way and if you indicate that with 'listen, can I just talk to you about this incident for a sec?', they tend to be happy to oblige. If you point out the pattern to them, in a neutral, observational way, they might be incredibly embarrassed and defensive for a sec, but most look out for those situations in the future and adjust accordingly.

    I honestly don't mean this to dismiss your gripe with our kind or to excuse it away, as it is legit - it is just meant as a tool to hopefully resolve these types of situations when they're in progress.
    I can understand if it's a miscommunication and I'm willing to give the benefit out doubt. In my case I didn't feel like it was miscommunication.

    My friend and I were talking about being single and hoping to get marry in our late 20's. She's 29 and I'm 26. In this conversation I was explaining my perspective of being single and the grieving of seeing my friends moving into marriage is part of life (basically we're updating our life). She can relate. I don't remember what I said and it has nothing to do with apathy towards her, but she had basically said "you don't know what it means to be single because you're only 26 and I'm 29" (paraphrasing). It was in a bitter attitude. I know she struggles being one of the last of her crew to get marry but it was unacceptable to talk to me that way. It came off as comparing the "single pain". My feelings aren't as important as her because she's been single longer.

    My co-worker and I were talking about busy schedule. I had mention I needed to get up early to do something and she interrupted me, "pfft. I have to get up at 4:30am, get breakfast for my son and drop him off at 7:30am for school, and run errands all day" something along those line. To me, it came off as "you think you got it bad? I'll explain how busy and tiring I'm going to be." Okay, I stop sharing. You don't need to be rude by interrupting.

    I love these two ladies and they're respectful people, but don't think you can disrespect me with your self-pity mentality that you got it bad. I don't have a problem with self-pity from time to time, but if you choose to say in it it will affect you. I apologize if my attitude rubs you the wrong way. Not my intention.

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