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  1. #91
    Senior Member Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    I would never stick up a date... but im also not a woman
    It wasn't like a commited "date" date, but still... She didn't even remember it until I confronted her, and she had the gall to take a "I was tired; why are you mad at me?" attitude. So I say OK, let's do something else... Then it's round 2 of the same shit. And it's not like she was blowing me off completely, cause when she wants to hang out it's all smiles and "don't be late." Should I just assume she doesn't understand the concept of a "plan"?

  2. #92
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    I would never stick up a date... but im also not a woman
    It's a good thing you're showing yourself to be a nice reasonable guy or this line would attract some flamage.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #93

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    :P

    Dude roger, ENFP's can be flirtatious but if immature will have a hard time following through on anything.

    Interested in everyone but committed to no one.
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  4. #94
    Senior Member Roger Mexico's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    :P

    Dude roger, ENFP's can be flirtatious but if immature will have a hard time following through on anything.

    Interested in everyone but committed to no one.
    Yeah, I figured. It would never work, but they always get inside my head and won't leave.
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  5. #95
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    :P

    Dude roger, ENFP's can be flirtatious but if immature will have a hard time following through on anything.

    Interested in everyone but committed to no one.

    Wow. That was succinctly put, and so accurate. It really makes me dislike my type right now.

    A common problem with NF's is that it's impossible to not be aware of other's psychological needs, and have an earnest desire to contribute to the emotional well being of everyone around them. But, it can cause a false sense of specialness on the receiving side, like the person might be more uniquely loved by the NF than they actually are, which can understandably lead to hurt feelings and resentment. For myself, I know that I can't turn off my immediate response to connect with others, but I make a serious and concerted effort to curb what I say and do in order to not be misleading.

  6. #96
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    Wow. That was succinctly put, and so accurate. It really makes me dislike my type right now.

    A common problem with NF's is that it's impossible to not be aware of other's psychological needs, and have an earnest desire to contribute to the emotional well being of everyone around them. But, it can cause a false sense of specialness on the receiving side, like the person might be more uniquely loved by the NF than they actually are, which can understandably lead to hurt feelings and resentment. For myself, I know that I can't turn off my immediate response to connect with others, but I make a serious and concerted effort to curb what I say and do in order to not be misleading.
    And the flip to this is that people that I really really like and want to strengthen my ties to -- they don't seem nearly as responsive as I would like! *pout*

    I don't get it. I think I'm pretty awesome...why don't they think so???

    Hahahah, seriously though, I think I have heard other ENFPs mention this, how sometimes other people assume the ENFP has no time for them or is too flighty.

    I think when I am interested in getting to know someone better, I'm pretty clear about it...

    So maybe when people don't show as much interest in me, I should just take it that "they're just not into you CzeCze".

    And I'm not just talking about romantic interests, I mean people in general.

    Actually...I take this back, I make a concerted effort for a while and then I just give up. And try again. And give up. And try again.

    When it comes to romantic relations, it's something that I've really been working on to be straight forward and get it right the first time and just move clearly ahead one way or the other, instead of playing this fluctuating never ending cycle of flirting and ambiguity.

    Wow...I just totally validated Roger's grief, didn't I?

    Yeah...I can see how others can find frustration with us...


  7. #97
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    my twin dawdles and makes me repeat myself. also, when she finally stops being the awesome supportive genuinely kind person i'm used to, she turns into what i like to call "pop-n-fresh with a ray gun" -- she's twenty times meaner than any human being alive. i have scientific proof.

    otherwise, she's been nothing but a huge help to me. i really don't have a big gripe. when we manage to get into a row, it's usually "no, YOU're psycho!" back and forth for about ten minutes and then it's over.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Likes Alassea liked this post

  8. #98
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Yeah...I can see how others can find frustration with us...


    i think NFPs overestimate how much waffling around they do. the ones i've met, both male and female, have more of a tendency to declare that they're waffling and being annoying, than they actually ARE waffling and being annoying.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    And the flip to this is that people that I really really like and want to strengthen my ties to -- they don't seem nearly as responsive as I would like! *pout*

    I don't get it. I think I'm pretty awesome...why don't they think so???

    Hahahah, seriously though, I think I have heard other ENFPs mention this, how sometimes other people assume the ENFP has no time for them or is too flighty.
    I know you're half joking, but this is something that seems to be a constant problem for my ENFP best friend. My question is.... What exactly are you looking for in a response from someone you like? The thing I see troubling my best friend the most is that she has such high standards for this response that she writes off people WAY too soon because she assumes they are not interested. Then afterwards, her self esteem gets crushed & I'm left saying, "but he WAS interested in you! You gave him signals that YOU weren't interested!". Another thing she does when she is interested in someone is find something to criticize & turn her off about them - thus preventing getting attached. Then I'll end up dating someone & she wonders why she isn't dating someone - but she would've already written off the guy I am dating in the first week! This frustrates me because it is so hard to give her advice without hurting her feelings, but I know that the one thing she really wants is the one thing she seems to constantly push away.

    I also notice that I tend to keep in touch with people better than her, while she expects to just pick up where she left off with people & everything always be the same with them. I've seen her hurt on a few occasions when other people do not respond to her when she suddenly reappears in their life after a long absence.

  10. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    I know you're half joking, but this is something that seems to be a constant problem for my ENFP best friend. My question is.... What exactly are you looking for in a response from someone you like? The thing I see troubling my best friend the most is that she has such high standards for this response that she writes off people WAY too soon because she assumes they are not interested. Then afterwards, her self esteem gets crushed & I'm left saying, "but he WAS interested in you! You gave him signals that YOU weren't interested!". Another thing she does when she is interested in someone is find something to criticize & turn her off about them - thus preventing getting attached. Then I'll end up dating someone & she wonders why she isn't dating someone - but she would've already written off the guy I am dating in the first week! This frustrates me because it is so hard to give her advice without hurting her feelings, but I know that the one thing she really wants is the one thing she seems to constantly push away.

    I also notice that I tend to keep in touch with people better than her, while she expects to just pick up where she left off with people & everything always be the same with them. I've seen her hurt on a few occasions when other people do not respond to her when she suddenly reappears in their life after a long absence.
    What they want, IMO is...

    Constant attention and acknowledgement.

    When you can't give them attention, you need to give an overdone and thorough explanation that makes it absolutely clear that you are not blowing them off in any way, and are not devaluing them, or "sticking" one to them at all.

    I am throwing my opinion into the mix (I'm an INTP) simply because sometimes people can't put into words WHAT they want.

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