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  1. #11
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    right me too...i'll match it...calm and mater of fact or firery...
    NFPs can be taken advantage of sometimes because of the way we typically come off. We usually are very friendly, and accepting, and loving. We really do want to connect and understand, and be cool with most people. But occasionally, the rare person will see that as free card to throw their ugly feelings around, believing us to be the type that will just put up with it. NFs also know exactly where it hurts, and we will take it to the next level if we are tested enough.

  2. #12
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    So conclusion is " Try to be supportive at all costs if you can. " ?

  3. #13
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    or just express your true feeling about it...with intention to resolve not blame...the point should be to express and resolve not to scold...damn i hate scolding...such pointless ugliness.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #14
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    (I only read the OP.)
    I'd already be upset for letting the other person down, and ime the passive-agression would fuel the guilt more. Explotion hurts for the moment, but it usually goes down after that, passive-aggression... It's harder to deal with. Especially if it leads to mute withdrawal. All out agression can be as bad though if it's vicious.

  5. #15
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    So conclusion is " Try to be supportive at all costs if you can. " ?
    For me, I need to be approached with honesty and the desire to connect. I can handle the negative feelings of anger from a loved one, and I will seek to understand what the issue is because I want to know.
    I may be hurt by the feelings that someone has, but I know that there will be times when I will step on someone's toes and they will step on mine. It's OK, and I move beyond the hurt very quickly so long as I'm respected, and still feel as though you hold me in high regard(as told by said person's actions).

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    or just express your true feeling about it...with intention to resolve not blame...the point should be to express and resolve not to scold...damn i hate scolding...such pointless ugliness.
    We think a like.

  6. #16
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    or just express your true feeling about it...with intention to resolve not blame...the point should be to express and resolve not to scold...damn i hate scolding...such pointless ugliness.
    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    For me, I need to be approached with honesty and the desire to connect. I can handle the negative feelings of anger from a loved one, and I will seek to understand what the issue is because I want to know.
    I may be hurt by the feelings that someone has, but I know that there will be times when I will step on someone's toes and they will step on mine. It's OK, and I move beyond the hurt very quickly so long as I'm respected, and still feel as though you hold me in high regard(as told by said person's actions).
    Understood.


    But what if i turn everything into logic talk and I don't pay attention to the fact that you feel bad for failing at doing this for me.

    (Feel free to correct me if this situation is impossibe. )

  7. #17
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    having a hard time imagining such a scenario w/o feeling of some kind attached.

    but if it was a logical explanation informing me of why i was wrong or how i failed it would still be hurtful to me that you seemed to be scolding me or not approaching me with intent to resolve and understand.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #18
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    having a hard time imagining such a scenario w/o feeling of some kind attached.

    but if it was a logical explanation informing me of why i was wrong or how i failed it would still be hurtful to me that you seemed to be scolding me or not approaching me with intent to resolve and understand.

    Bingo.


    Well this is the problem since I am likely to switch into logical mode completely when things go bad. I mean this is how my resolve mode looks like and it is quite hard for me to do this on any other way. But it looks that I am quite likely to end up looking as passive-agressive. Even if that is not what I want.

  9. #19
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Bingo.


    Well this is the problem since I am likely to switch into logical mode completely when things go bad. I mean this is how my resolve mode looks like and it is quite hard for me to do this on any other way. But it looks that I am quite likely to end up looking as passive-agressive. Even if that is not what I want.
    I understand that because I can be the same way. There are times when I can seem insensitive because I'm hiding my feelings about something. But if that's how you come off, the only thing you can do is let the other person know your intentions. If I know someone's intentions, and they express that their intentions are to connect and help me to understand, then I can accept them.

  10. #20
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    I understand that because I can be the same way. There are times when I can seem insensitive because I'm hiding my feelings about something. But if that's how you come off, the only thing you can do is let the other person know your intentions. If I know someone's intentions, and they express that their intentions are to connect and help me to understand, then I can accept them.

    Well they know my intensions but there were ceses where I have managed to hurt people acting as it is already mentioned. However I am not sure is it because of that or is it because I cut feelings out.


    But in this situations it is not unusual that i get accused that I am hidding my feelings. Why would someone think I am hidding my feelings ?

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