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Thread: Voicing your Thoughts

  1. #11


    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post

    Do you get afterthoughts a lot? I'll explain something and then 5 minutes later realize that I need to say more to further explain my abstract thoughts or sometimes I'll have thought up a new perspective. So I'll be compelled to continue a discussion further & normally at that point, the discussion's ended. There's a better way to explain an afterthought, but I can't seem to articulate it properly right now.

    I do this all the time too. It's frustrating when it's become "too late" to bring up a thread of conversation again. I always wish I could come up with comments just a bit more quickly, then I'd be the life of the party (and probably not an INFJ anymore).

  2. #12
    Resident Snot-Nose Array GZA's Avatar
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    Aug 2007


    It depends... sometimes I can verbally express things quite well, other times I can't... I think differently than I talk, so it can be hard.

  3. #13
    Plumage and Moult Array proteanmix's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by shimsham View Post
    Do you find it easy to verbalize your thoughts? In my case, the patterning/processing of my thoughts tend to occur on a highly experiential level, sort of like landscapes of opinions and emotions, and only occasionally in a more verbal, word-based form.
    I used this picture to describe ENJs in my MBTI Paintings thread because I found it to be a very accurate pictorial description of my world.

    To answer your question yes and no. I say yes because there are types of thoughts in my head that are very organized and structured that I am able to communicate quite well to other people. I'm very adamant (almost a stickler) for explaining my logic, reasoning, and motivations for doing something. Maybe I'm compensating, idk. I try to make sure I'm getting feedback from the person I'm talking to make sure they understand what I'm saying and why I'm saying it. But somewhere in my explanations is when the problem begins. The more I talk and try to make myself understood, the more confused I become. Some people become more resolute and focused as they talk, but not me. (I think) I begin to confuse people when they originally understood what I'm saying. Usually my first thoughts are the best thoughts and I try to limit what I say to those good thoughts. I think that I get so caught up in explaining myself that I end up speaking nonsense. But generally, no I don't have a problem verbalizing certain types of thoughts.

    The no: I choose the picture above because to me it represents moving from structured to less structured. For the other types of thoughts, there's usually some framework that my they are working in; even if it's just barebones. There are frequent occurrences of my thoughts feeling like they're going to coming running out of any available orifice in my body because there's not enough room for them in my head. There's definitely a feeling of imposing order onto something but that has the potential to be overwhelming, but they're very well-behaved and usually stay where I put them. Honestly, those moments when I have to structure are uncomfortable and little surreal. One day they're going to bust out of their very comfortable room I've made for them leave footprints and stains all over my carpet.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  4. #14


    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    Verbalizing is extremely hard for me. Usually when someone puts me on the stop, I have trouble saying ANYTHING so then I look unintelligent or uncaring. If I am active in a verbal conversation, I usually have to sit back for the beginning of it and then jump in once I have a good grasp on what I want to say.

    However, writing is a whole 'nother story! I can write novels explaining what's in my head if it's on paper or on the computer.
    I tend to have the same experience, particularly when interrupted mid-thought. I can do better with voicing non-emotional thoughts than emotional ones (work-related conversations, etc.). It's when I'm trying to verbalize opinions on something multi-faceted like, for example, philosophical conversations, that I really feel like I'm putting my foot in my mouth. I kind of check up with the other person every once in awhile to make sure I'm getting my vague point across.

    I guess you could say I'd prefer to work out my ideas during the conversation, rather than going into it with a fixed opinion. In that sense, I'm not particularly opinionated because I can approach an idea from several different directions. You could say it's wishy-washiness, but I'd like to think of it in a more positive light.

    And yes, writing is much easier than talking, any day.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Array niffer's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
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    Oh, sure.

    Also verbalizing them helps me to refine the thoughts. Easier to see holes in logic when you have things set into words.
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  6. #16
    Junior Member Array shadowstormz's Avatar
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    Oct 2007


    As a fellow INFJ, I can relate. Something's always on mind. In my case, if it isn't family, it's friends. If it isn't about friends, it's work/school. And if it's not that, it's another problem unrelated to the prior three or even perhaps thinking of ways to improve my life or questioning why the world is the way it is. Perhaps finding symbolism in a situation, parallel meanings between two instances, etc etc. Am I striking a cord? Hehe.

    Anyway, I also find it hard to voice my thoughts. And when I finally get something out to say, I often feel that it's misunderstood because the explanation was so brief while the thought was so in-depth.

    That's just my two-cents, though.

    About the afterthoughts, I'm starting to think we've found an INFJ pattern.

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