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[INFP] Flirty INFP's?

mangos

New member
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6&2
So I keep reading about how INFP's are supposed to be all shy and slow to open up, and how we're so fiercely loyal and will see our romantic relationships through to the end, etc. Also, I see INFP's complaining about how they're so passive and have trouble getting romantically involved with the opposite sex.

I'm an INFP and I don't feel that these things apply to me at all. I'll open up pretty much instantly to anyone who's interested. I mean, I don't go around bawling in public, but I'm hardly reserved or closed-off. I'm very flirtatious with guys I'm interested in and have no problems getting into romantic relationships. However, I actually have trouble holding down long-term relationships because, even though I start out "deeply in love," I eventually get bored, feel trapped, and bail out because I'm disillusioned and the relationship isn't living up to my expectations--so much for my INFP "loyalty" lol. Any other INFP's have similar experiences?
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I only flirt with online girls I can't have, less trouble that way.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
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3w4
I definitely love to flirt and I must say I with my acid pearls of wit I have mastered it. If you're not into quirkiness and idealism you may not like my charms so much. I can be quite whimsical in my interactions.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
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INFP
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4w5
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sp/sx
I always say I am an awful flirt, but that's because I freeze up around attractive men. I don't think it's cuz I am INFP, but probably my own insecurities. Although I have a feeling many INFPs harbor such insecurities because of growing up the weird kid, or whatever. So just consider yourself well-adjusted.

In situations where I am comfortable with someone and they get my brand of humor, I LOVE to quip and tease. I'm surprisingly cute in those moments. I wish I had more of them, and when I find people who bring that out in me it makes me like them, because I like myself when around them (how self-absorbed is that though :tongue:).

As far as forming real attachments, that does take time & trust for me though. I can click with people fast, but it's unusual, and it's not necessarily deeply rooted. I tend to bail fast in dating for similar reasons as yours, but if I'm honest, I will say that I wasn't that into those guys to begin with. If I come to really, really care about someone, then letting go is rough.

I tend to be mostly private about my emotions and internal life, but can be very open about what's going on in my external life if you ask. Sometimes my bluntness there can make people uncomfortable, but it doesn't seem personal to me. It's just life events, not my innermost being exposed.
 

Coeur

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
237
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
So I keep reading about how INFP's are supposed to be all shy and slow to open up, and how we're so fiercely loyal and will see our romantic relationships through to the end, etc. Also, I see INFP's complaining about how they're so passive and have trouble getting romantically involved with the opposite sex.

I'm an INFP and I don't feel that these things apply to me at all. I'll open up pretty much instantly to anyone who's interested. I mean, I don't go around bawling in public, but I'm hardly reserved or closed-off. I'm very flirtatious with guys I'm interested in and have no problems getting into romantic relationships. However, I actually have trouble holding down long-term relationships because, even though I start out "deeply in love," I eventually get bored, feel trapped, and bail out because I'm disillusioned and the relationship isn't living up to my expectations--so much for my INFP "loyalty" lol. Any other INFP's have similar experiences?

That sounds a lot like me.

The way I look at it is: I'm either completely attached, or completely detached. And neither one can be forced; it just happens.

I think that true love for me takes a great deal of time.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
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4w5
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sp/sx
The way I look at it is: I'm either completely attached, or completely detached. And neither one can be forced; it just happens

That puts it succinctly :yes:
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
I only flirt if teasing counts as flirting. Which it can, but not in my case I think. It's more something I do with girls I'm comfortable with rather than girls I'd like to hook up with.
 

mangos

New member
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6&2
OP sounds like an ENFP.

OP = ENFP?

Hm, I dunno. I don't think so. I mean, I do occasionally like to go to parties or bars or be flirty or whatever, but it's draining for me, even though it can be fun. I can only do it every so often, or I start to feel cranky. But alone time or one-on-one time definitely charges my batteries, and I like to spend a good deal of time by myself. Most of my hobbies are quiet, solitary pursuits, or things I can do one-on-one with a close friend. I've taken the MBTI many times and always score as an introvert. I guess I just open up easily and am not very shy in some situations. I vaguely recall hearing something about "shy extroverts," so maybe this is the same kind of thing--gregarious introverts?
 

luminous beam

♪♫♪♫♪♫
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Messages
744
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
it's always been easy for me to flirt...unless it's around someone i'm totally hot for. then i can't bring myself to look them in the eye. also, i've noticed that in the past i would dismiss and be rude, mean, crass or abrupt with guys i've liked. reminds me of how people say little boys are mean to the girls they like lol
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Potentially something quite common NFPs straddling the E/I line?
 

Silence11

New member
Joined
Nov 17, 2008
Messages
61
MBTI Type
INFP
I'm naturally flirty with girls that I'm comfortable around, which has caused some problems in the past, I think... giving off the wrong vibe and all. Being flirty with women that I'm attracted to or just recently met hasn't come naturally to me - it's something I've had to work at, but I think I've become pretty good at it.

Though I also don't really agree with the whole perception of INFP's being shy and lacking assertiveness. I tend to be somewhat aloof and repress my true feelings... and I definately need my down time, but I think I'm pretty competent socially.
 

Silence11

New member
Joined
Nov 17, 2008
Messages
61
MBTI Type
INFP
Potentially something quite common NFPs straddling the E/I line?

My understanding of introversion and extroversion is that they have little to do with social ability. I can see INFP's being very good flirts... they have the self-awareness and the natural intuitiveness to be very good at it, I think.
 

LEGERdeMAIN

New member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
2,516
So I keep reading about how INFP's are supposed to be all shy and slow to open up, and how we're so fiercely loyal and will see our romantic relationships through to the end, etc. Also, I see INFP's complaining about how they're so passive and have trouble getting romantically involved with the opposite sex.

I'm an INFP and I don't feel that these things apply to me at all. I'll open up pretty much instantly to anyone who's interested. I mean, I don't go around bawling in public, but I'm hardly reserved or closed-off. I'm very flirtatious with guys I'm interested in and have no problems getting into romantic relationships. However, I actually have trouble holding down long-term relationships because, even though I start out "deeply in love," I eventually get bored, feel trapped, and bail out because I'm disillusioned and the relationship isn't living up to my expectations--so much for my INFP "loyalty" lol. Any other INFP's have similar experiences?

how did i miss this thread? I love variety, long term relationships just aren't fun. I don't think it's a problem and it doesn't necessarily contradict the loyal infp stereotype. I would recommend barley and open relationships.
 
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