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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Default NF's: What is your primary love language?

    I thought I saw a thread on this some time ago, but I'm having trouble locating it. That's OK, let's start a new one.

    Of the 5 primary love languages discussed in "The Five Love Languages" by Chapman, what would you say is your primary language? I don't know if this author is the first to write about this and I don't really much care - I'm more wondering which of the languages that you most identify with in relationships and if there is some sort of correlation with type.

    For those who don't know what the languages are, they are discussed briefly here: Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages: Learn the Languages

    They are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

    After discussing this with a family member, it seems that maybe a lot of SJ's that I know enjoy "Acts of Service" - afterall, they are looking for "help mates" in life. I know a couple of them that when I help them do something productive (move to a new city, help them work on a Saturday, clean up the house) - they really enjoy this and appreciate it.

    I'm perplexed because as an NT - mine is Physical Touch - without a doubt. I don't know if that's rare within the NT subset, but I'm going to head on over to the NT Rationale and find out, but I wanted to hear from my NF buddies as well.

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah there is a thread somewhere...probably titled 5 love languages but i've taken that test and read the book too i think mine was words of affirmation and quality time...i usually express affection by saying sweet things or doing fun things with them....and i guess i like that in return too...with physical touch being up there too close to the others i think. the others don't really go as noticed by me.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm probably the same as Lady X. Granted, when I'm distressed or deeply agitated, I need to be touched properly and in a timely fashion, but that's likely just somewhere behind taking care of my environment. Gifts fall far last.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #4
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Mine were:

    Quality time- 4
    Words of affirmation- 6
    Acts of service- 6
    Physical touch- 11
    Receiving gifts- 3

    Physical touch was my highest and I totally agree.

    The thread was here: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...languages.html
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  5. #5
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quality Time and Physical touch are probably most important to me. Words of affirmation are quite important too (you know, that whole communication aspect is pretty darn necessary ), but I need an action/behavior to support the words - words alone don't do a whole lot.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  6. #6
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Quality Time and Physical touch are probably most important to me. Words of affirmation are quite important too (you know, that whole communication aspect is pretty darn necessary ), but I need an action/behavior to support the words - words alone don't do a whole lot.
    right...that's an important distinction...it's about the ability to communicate and a shared feeling of being understood and just caring to hear what the other person has to say and enjoying great conversation...flowery words with no actions to back it up loses a lot of weight.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #7
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    1) Physical Touch
    2)Words of affirmation
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  8. #8
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Test Results:

    Percent Language Score

    37% Quality Time 11

    33% Physical Touch 10

    13% Words of Affirmation 4

    10% Acts of Service 3

    7% Receiving Gifts 2


    No surprise there.

  9. #9
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    My primary love language is Quality Time, my secondary is Physical Touch. I love this theory. Acts of service just generally make me feel put on the spot, as if I have to repay the person for what they've done, but they see it as an act of love and often don't expect anything back. I only realized why both the giver and the receiver (me) in this situation were confused with my reaction when I learned about this theory. As for Gift Giving, I'd say this is my least used love language. I NEVER think about giving gifts honestly, the only time I really give gifts is when I'm guilted into it by someone else, and even then I don't see the purpose. Words of affirmation are alright, I just usually don't think about using this love language, but having it used on me is pretty much met with a positive response, since I don't see an issue with it.

    Quality time is clearly my primary love language. The keyword here is quality. I really like to spend time with people that I like, this is basically how I show my love. If I initiate with you, if I want to talk to you, then I like you as a person. Physical touch is also very important, but that love language is reserved for my significant other, I'm not sure how this process works with bonding with friends as a main language.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  10. #10
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    You NFs and your "quality time!" If I notice you're in the room, that should count!



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