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  1. #21
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Physical touch and quality time - equally.

  2. #22
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Quality time is clearly my primary love language. The keyword here is quality. I really like to spend time with people that I like, this is basically how I show my love. If I initiate with you, if I want to talk to you, then I like you as a person. Physical touch is also very important, but that love language is reserved for my significant other, I'm not sure how this process works with bonding with friends as a main language.
    I think guys, especially single guys, who have physical touch really have it harder than girls. In our culture, it's far more acceptable for girls/women to snuggle together on the couch in a totally non-sexual way than for guys. No dirty jokes, people. :P Girls can hug and pet and coddle each other in ways that our culture won't allow guys to do. And, of course, anytime "just friends" between two sexes that the other is interested in (wow, what a complicated way to say that) always has the potential for defrauding someone somehow.

    Re: the quality time thing: ITTTA. And, to my INTJ, "quality time" means quantity time. He's very happy to just breathe in the same room, but that's wasted time together for me. It makes for an interesting dynamic!
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    Touch is my #1 by a wide margin. Quality time is #2. I really enjoy the intimacy and the touch that comes with it. I'd love to cuddle up and watch a movie, or chat, or just wait for a girl to fall asleep in my arms. And the quality time, sharing and enjoying amazing experiences together is great. That's why it's good to enjoy some common interests with a girl because you can share what you love doing with someone you love. That's really great too.

    As far as the other three, I'll start with acts of service. I had about 20 people over to my place on the weekend and one thing that really stuck out is this one girl who I'm interested in (ISFJ) washed the dirty dishes from the food. She asked earlier if I needed help and I said no since everything was under control, but this was her way (I assume) of saying thank you. And that really stuck out for me- I was impressed. So acts of service is probably number three, but only if nothing is expected in return. I would gladly help out with chores and maintenance in a relationship, but not to "return a favor."

    Words of affirmation are not constantly needed for me. Just enough so that I relate those gifts or quality time to love. After all, I can spend quality time with a friend and not feel love, but if it's with a girl and she says some endearing words, it really means something.

    Gift giving would be last. It would be the only thing that I wouldn't deem essential as a regular part of a relationship. Just on occasion for the heck of it- a surprise "I love you." But I dated an ESTP once and she loved to freely give gifts and money. It felt weird while I was dating (interesting: one time we were going to soccer and she wanted to stop off at a store for something- turns out it was to buy me water for the game, heh), but I realized after that was her way of showing affection. So I wouldn't find it awkward now.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  4. #24
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Acts of Service - I don't remember the percentages, but I remember this was extremely high
    Quality Time
    Receiving Gifts - This one and the one above were way lower but equal
    Physical Touch
    Words of Affirmation

    I have a mind to think that these work for non-relationship ways of showing love as well.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

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    prplchknz: i don't like it

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  5. #25
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quality time
    Words of affirmation

    People that want to play me learn very quickly that I have a hard time resisting someone who sweet talks me. *sigh*
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #26
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Quality time
    Words of affirmation

    People that want to play me learn very quickly that I have a hard time resisting someone who sweet talks me. *sigh*
    aww...and i'm sure a sweet lil lady like yourself gets that all the time.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #27
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    aww...and i'm sure a sweet lil lady like yourself gets that all the time.
    I'm not giving you cigarette money. Unless you really need it.

    Can't stop being pushover.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #28
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    I love quality time & acts of service, physical touch comes into play more when I find the first 2 to be there.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #29
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Affirmation (I need to know that someone appreciates, likes and respects me - that I have something to contribute) and quality time (can be even reading together in the same room, or a smile and wink from across a crowded room to say you are thinking of me even if you are talking to someone else. I like walks or drives a lot though, or being read to). However, a thoughtful little gifts are something I love to give others and like to be surprised with (monetary worth is not important, just that you know me well and are thinking of me). Touch (which indicates you genuinely like me and want to be near me) and doing something for me (which indicates I am worth going out of your way for) are important, but just not the very most important.

    Hmm, I kind of want it all though. And I like doing the same for someone in return. I think I'm fairly good at making someone feel well loved.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    If SO:

    Physical Touch
    Quality Time
    Acts of Service
    Words of Affirmation
    Gifts

    It's very important for me to touch and be touched. Hugs are a favorite with me.

    If anyone else:

    Quality Time
    Acts of Service
    Word of Affirmation
    Physical Touch
    Gifts
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

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