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  1. #1
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Default Question for ENFP's and initial attraction

    I find myself being excessively extroverted (at least for an INTJ) in a lot of social situations. I guess I've conditioned myself to do so, since it's what's usually socially expected. Sometimes it's exhausting, sometimes it can be fun. Depending on who I'm socializing with. SO....

    Lets say an ENFP was around, and I was not acting like my typical reserved and aloof INTJ self, and was extroverting way more than usual in a very non-INTJ manner, would he notice me at all? Are ENFP's usually drawn to less extroverted types? Will they be drawn to that quiet and mysterious person, rather than the one socializing and chatting it up with the crowds?

    Sometimes I feel like I act sort of ENFP-ish and can be really silly in social situations...maybe because ENFP's have all the social qualities that I desire.

    I think if it wasn't for work, I would have never met this male ENFP that I know now. I'm very much an INTJ at work...very quiet and private, and super concentrated on work at all times. I never even noticed he existed and he sat in the same row! Somehow he noticed me and persisted in getting to know me.

    I guess I just wonder if I'm hurting my chances of being approached by ENFP's by appearing to be a type that I'm not. I'm just learning how much I'm drawn to this type and would love to meet more.

    Damn you ENFP's

  2. #2
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    My attention to a person has nothing to do with extroversion or introversion of a person. I don't know about other ENFP's or male ENFP's.

    I think you should be as you are with ENFP's. I think most ENFP's find it important to be true to yourself as you are.

  3. #3
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    ^^^yeah, act how you want. You will probably still end up making INTJ-style quips and comments

    quieter people are usually harder to observe/approach
    I can be miserable in casual social situations. bedtime . . . too tired to manage my post

  4. #4
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    I find myself being excessively extroverted (at least for an INTJ) in a lot of social situations. I guess I've conditioned myself to do so, since it's what's usually socially expected. Sometimes it's exhausting, sometimes it can be fun. Depending on who I'm socializing with. SO....

    Lets say an ENFP was around, and I was not acting like my typical reserved and aloof INTJ self, and was extroverting way more than usual in a very non-INTJ manner, would he notice me at all? Are ENFP's usually drawn to less extroverted types? Will they be drawn to that quiet and mysterious person, rather than the one socializing and chatting it up with the crowds?

    Sometimes I feel like I act sort of ENFP-ish and can be really silly in social situations...maybe because ENFP's have all the social qualities that I desire.

    I think if it wasn't for work, I would have never met this male ENFP that I know now. I'm very much an INTJ at work...very quiet and private, and super concentrated on work at all times. I never even noticed he existed and he sat in the same row! Somehow he noticed me and persisted in getting to know me.

    I guess I just wonder if I'm hurting my chances of being approached by ENFP's by appearing to be a type that I'm not. I'm just learning how much I'm drawn to this type and would love to meet more.

    Damn you ENFP's

    I think it less introversion/extroversion. I almost cant see INFPs for instance-I think it is lack of eye contact.

    I rarely miss noticing an INTJ. They tend to feel very solid and be noticable, not so much becuase of thier actions or words, but the Te eye contact, the somewhat dominant observing look they tend to wear,

    I find I often become ultra silly in an attempt to bring thier tert Fi to the surface. I try and make them laugh so pay attention to see if this guy is doing something like that.

    Also notice when you make eye contact with him. Lately with all of my IXTJs what I have seen is an "understanding" of sorts. When I look at them and smile, there is no confusion that I am flirting, no feelings of discomfort due to Fe-Fi miscommunication.

    They just "understand" what I am trying to say-even if I say nothing. It is really nice.

  5. #5
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    For some reason I always find myself more drawn to the quieter one in a crowd, I want to draw them out, learn more about them, find out what they are brooding about so sexily in that corner all by themselves.

    I make a beeline towards the quiet ones, happens all the time.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

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  6. #6
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    agreed on the post above and the one before that.

    Also, I love it when an INTJ is all serious one moment and focussed and can actually let go and be goofy as well at other times. I notice people because they draw my attention by doing something, saying something or by carrying their body somehow that intrigues me. E or I, doesn't really matter at that point. If at some point you're going to flash Te and Fi at me, I'll notice you. For sure

    I love both ENTJs and INTJs. I consider ENTJs an immediate challenge to see what they're capable of and how they respond to chaos and a disruption in their plans.

    INTJs I love the challenge of prodding them till they leave their shell, by like doing something highly illogical or ridiculous and pretending I didn't see them coming closer to check out what on earth I'm up to.

    To get that stare of confusion and irritation to go to complete bewilderment is my goal in both NTJ-breeds

    I know, I'm evil
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  7. #7
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    ooo, I like poking at ENTJs as well.

  8. #8
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I find it hard to imagine an INTJ acting like an ENFP. I was looking over old letters and found a letter from an INTJ telling me that it was tiring always trying to be off-beat humorous and interesting around me.

  9. #9
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post

    Are ENFP's usually drawn to less extroverted types? Will they be drawn to that quiet and mysterious person, rather than the one socializing and chatting it up with the crowds?
    I don't know about other ENFPs, but I'm usually drawn to the quiet and mysterious person.

    I'm drawn equally to Intraverts and Extraverts for friendship and comraderie, but I prefer Introversion in a significant other.

    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post

    I guess I just wonder if I'm hurting my chances of being approached by ENFP's by appearing to be a type that I'm not. I'm just learning how much I'm drawn to this type and would love to meet more.
    Yeah, you can't fail when you're being yourself.

    Eventually, you'll get what you need, even if it means being patient.
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  10. #10
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    I don't know about other ENFPs, but I'm usually drawn to the quiet and mysterious person.
    Agreed. Although I don't like the "mysterious" word, introverts are more just the type of person I respond to.

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