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  1. #1
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Default Commonalities/differences between ENFP and ENFJ

    I'm really enjoying the ENFP thread and identifying with many topics the ENFPs are bringing up. Aside from both types being NFs (which of course implies much overlap) what are some things these two types have in common and what are the differences?

    I haven't had much experience with ENFPs; I've meet a couple, I felt like we could hit it off but it just didn't materialize. Can we identify some barriers to communication between these types?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3
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  2. #2
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Can we identify some barriers to communication between these types?
    From the mouth of my ENFP: Mutual accommodation deadlock.

    He adds that it doesn't happen with other ENFPs.

    BBL.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Vortex's Avatar
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    That had me laughing, I agree with your ENFP, Eco. I can totally see that, when words attached to the picture.

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    Senior Member xNFJiminy's Avatar
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    In my experience and based on theory, ENFJs think before they speak more than any other type and as far as I can tell are never tactless, and in turn are more easily offended, particularly about how their character is judged and appreciated. They feel deeply betrayed if they suspect their good will is doubted. In leisure time, ENFPs are more unpredictable and spontaneous, expending energy erratically. They seem more restless. ENFJs seem to focus entirely on connecting with and getting to know people around them, and their energy output is steady.

    I've only ever known three people I think might be ENFJs though.

  5. #5

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    two of my friends got married 3 weeks after they met, a shotgun wedding in Vegas. The girl is enfj, the guy is enfp. When they aren't drunk things are awesome, when the girl gets drunk, things get ugly fast. She has no flood control on her mouth. Not fun to be around.

    Outside of that though, I get along extremely well with both of them! Definitely more so with the guy though.

  6. #6
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xNFJiminy View Post
    In my experience and based on theory, ENFJs think before they speak more than any other type and as far as I can tell are never tactless, and in turn are more easily offended, particularly about how their character is judged and appreciated ...
    I know I'm horribly afflicted with Foot in Mouth Disease so I don't know about the never tactless part. What I think helps is that I have pre- and post-damage controls in place that saves me during the more egregious goofs.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #7
    Senior Member xNFJiminy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    two of my friends got married 3 weeks after they met, a shotgun wedding in Vegas. The girl is enfj, the guy is enfp. When they aren't drunk things are awesome, when the girl gets drunk, things get ugly fast. She has no flood control on her mouth. Not fun to be around.
    Fe makes people want to express feelings about others, as well as helping them decide when not to, so I suppose alcohol could bring out the bolder side. I don't know, luckily I don't drink.

  8. #8
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Analyze this!

    (Cheat sheet: Robin Williams effectively sabotages his turn on Inside the Actor's Studio, answering very few of James Lipton's questions seriously and visibly provoking the irritation of the latter. What I want to know is, why did RW go on the show in the first place? Surely he knew what treatment he was in for and that he wasn't asked to come just to do standup. Did he simply get carried away by the response he got from the audience? Pretty poor Ne control in that case. )

    Quote Originally Posted by xNFJiminy View Post
    In leisure time, ENFPs are more unpredictable and spontaneous, expending energy erratically. They seem more restless. ENFJs seem to focus entirely on connecting with and getting to know people around them, and their energy output is steady.
    That is my experience also and I think it explains why they clash: They both seek to engage others but they each have their own, mutually exclusive ways of doing it. Effectively they compete to set the tone of the dynamic (a flow of tangents vs. a focus). (This is of course ironic since neither is a competitive type.) In a group setting, I'm guessing that the ENFP often 'wins' the dynamic (at the cost of taxing the patience of the ENFJ and possibly others who are more interested in taking the conversation to where the ENFJ wants it to go) whereas in a one-on-one setting, my SO's term Mutual Accommodation Deadlock seems to sum it up: Each tries to engage the other in his own way and fails.

    ... I can't wait to find out whether the awareness of this conflict of interests (or rather, methods) is enough to alleviate it.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Vortex's Avatar
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    I can't find anything with Robin Williams where he's serious, but I think I've seen some clips on the end of dvds where he is. He does seem to have poor control, but it seems to me that the fact that he loves the audience and the audience loves him is the only thing that's important. The interviewer is just the backdrop and can be a small annoyance ( James Lipton) or somebody who can laugh with him (Ellen Degeneres, Jay Leno also easily found on Youtube) - they will remain secondary and unimportant to the greater goal of providing entertainment.

    I think his world might just be divided up a bit differently from many others in terms of what is appropriate and what is important. I also think he uses his talent as a defense against any real questions he might be asked, particularly of the unimportant yet a tad too personal variety.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Blackwater's Avatar
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    i agree, vortex my impression also
    best collection of philosopher typings online

    http://www.celebritytypes.com/philosophers/

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