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[NF] Commonalities/differences between ENFP and ENFJ

proteanmix

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I'm really enjoying the ENFP thread and identifying with many topics the ENFPs are bringing up. Aside from both types being NFs (which of course implies much overlap) what are some things these two types have in common and what are the differences?

I haven't had much experience with ENFPs; I've meet a couple, I felt like we could hit it off but it just didn't materialize. Can we identify some barriers to communication between these types?
 

Vortex

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That had me laughing, I agree with your ENFP, Eco. I can totally see that, when words attached to the picture.
 

xNFJiminy

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In my experience and based on theory, ENFJs think before they speak more than any other type and as far as I can tell are never tactless, and in turn are more easily offended, particularly about how their character is judged and appreciated. They feel deeply betrayed if they suspect their good will is doubted. In leisure time, ENFPs are more unpredictable and spontaneous, expending energy erratically. They seem more restless. ENFJs seem to focus entirely on connecting with and getting to know people around them, and their energy output is steady.

I've only ever known three people I think might be ENFJs though.
 

findthejake

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two of my friends got married 3 weeks after they met, a shotgun wedding in Vegas. The girl is enfj, the guy is enfp. When they aren't drunk things are awesome, when the girl gets drunk, things get ugly fast. She has no flood control on her mouth. Not fun to be around.

Outside of that though, I get along extremely well with both of them! Definitely more so with the guy though.
 

proteanmix

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In my experience and based on theory, ENFJs think before they speak more than any other type and as far as I can tell are never tactless, and in turn are more easily offended, particularly about how their character is judged and appreciated ...

I know I'm horribly afflicted with Foot in Mouth Disease so I don't know about the never tactless part. What I think helps is that I have pre- and post-damage controls in place that saves me during the more egregious goofs.
 

xNFJiminy

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two of my friends got married 3 weeks after they met, a shotgun wedding in Vegas. The girl is enfj, the guy is enfp. When they aren't drunk things are awesome, when the girl gets drunk, things get ugly fast. She has no flood control on her mouth. Not fun to be around.
Fe makes people want to express feelings about others, as well as helping them decide when not to, so I suppose alcohol could bring out the bolder side. I don't know, luckily I don't drink. :D
 

Economica

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Analyze this!

(Cheat sheet: Robin Williams effectively sabotages his turn on Inside the Actor's Studio, answering very few of James Lipton's questions seriously and visibly provoking the irritation of the latter. What I want to know is, why did RW go on the show in the first place? Surely he knew what treatment he was in for and that he wasn't asked to come just to do standup. Did he simply get carried away by the response he got from the audience? Pretty poor Ne control in that case. :thumbdown:)

In leisure time, ENFPs are more unpredictable and spontaneous, expending energy erratically. They seem more restless. ENFJs seem to focus entirely on connecting with and getting to know people around them, and their energy output is steady.

That is my experience also and I think it explains why they clash: They both seek to engage others but they each have their own, mutually exclusive ways of doing it. Effectively they compete to set the tone of the dynamic (a flow of tangents vs. a focus). (This is of course ironic since neither is a competitive type.) In a group setting, I'm guessing that the ENFP often 'wins' the dynamic (at the cost of taxing the patience of the ENFJ and possibly others who are more interested in taking the conversation to where the ENFJ wants it to go) whereas in a one-on-one setting, my SO's term Mutual Accommodation Deadlock seems to sum it up: Each tries to engage the other in his own way and fails.

... I can't wait to find out whether the awareness of this conflict of interests (or rather, methods) is enough to alleviate it. :)
 

Vortex

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I can't find anything with Robin Williams where he's serious, but I think I've seen some clips on the end of dvds where he is. He does seem to have poor control, but it seems to me that the fact that he loves the audience and the audience loves him is the only thing that's important. The interviewer is just the backdrop and can be a small annoyance ( James Lipton) or somebody who can laugh with him (Ellen Degeneres, Jay Leno also easily found on Youtube) - they will remain secondary and unimportant to the greater goal of providing entertainment.

I think his world might just be divided up a bit differently from many others in terms of what is appropriate and what is important. I also think he uses his talent as a defense against any real questions he might be asked, particularly of the unimportant yet a tad too personal variety.
 

proteanmix

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The main contention in the Reese Witherspoon thread seems to be whether she is a ENFP or ENFJ (with a few ESFJers in the mix also).

People, I'm trying to find some meaningful differences between the ENFJ/ENFP personalities. The difference between ENFs isn't the difference between apples and kangaroos, it's the difference between a Fuji apple, or Macintosh apple, or a Granny Smith.

Can anybody think of anything? I see ENFPs as being more tangential and stream of consciousness than ENFJs. ENFJs want the connection to and between people, while ENFPs seem to concentrate on the connections themselves. It's like ENFJs focus on the point of contact and ENFPs on the mode of contact. What do y'all think?
 

Vortex

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I think it's quite difficult (for me at least) to pinpoint the differences. I don't have a wide selection of ENFJs in my social circle to draw on, so it's mostly theoretical and guesswork. As unhelpful as it might seem, I don't think it's necessarily in the connections the differences are - at least not necessarily in the way described. But I'm not sure I understand 'point of contact' and 'mode of contact' - care to elaborate? :)
 

alcea rosea

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I have some experience with ENFJ's and only suspected ENFP that I know (in addition to myself). But here are some of my thoughts anyway.

My first (intuitive) impression of ENFJ’s is that they are very soft and warm. ENFP's are also warm but not as soft and as warm as ENFJ's. ENFP's are more random than and not as focused as ENFJ's. ENFJ's are very capable of planning the connection with people when ENFP's are just what they are with people.

ENFJ's want to make everyone feel good (if they are in good mood and if they want this) by different means than ENFP's. They can create and destroy the general atmosphere with a step by step method. ENFP's just rush in and radiate the feeling around them and not necessary plan to do it.

So I would say that ENFJ's are better with people in a methodical and planned way when ENFP's are better with people in a spontaneous way. I think ENFJ's are more aware of their impact on people and of their influence skills (which are great by the way). ENFP's might not be that aware of their impact in people.
 
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Usehername

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ENFJs can be so skilled that they can appear to be S in the sense that they know exactly how to adapt themselves to make the other person comfortable. They meet people on their terms.
They can come across as quite "perfectly normal" when they're being accomodating. (I would argue that ENFJs are not "normal" though in the sense that most people are S and their similarities are all superficial instead of core similarities.)
ENFPs, however, make people feel safe and comfortable in a very quirky way. They never look normal, but they accomplish the same goals as ENFJs. (Has anyone ever met an ENFP that didn't come across as "weird"? Endearing, loveable, intelligent, yes, but normal?)
 

Domino

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I'm really enjoying the ENFP thread and identifying with many topics the ENFPs are bringing up. Aside from both types being NFs (which of course implies much overlap) what are some things these two types have in common and what are the differences?

I haven't had much experience with ENFPs; I've meet a couple, I felt like we could hit it off but it just didn't materialize. Can we identify some barriers to communication between these types?

I have 30 years of experience with ENFP-eNFJ interactions as my twin is an ENFP, so I think I can put in a few things here.

Jaye and I get along 98% of the time. We have the same sense of humor (hers is more slapstick and mine is a bit more verbal and cutting) and we laugh over the same things. I think it helps that I'm more introverted than she is, so it's not like two extroverts colliding all the time. We like completely different types of men. We have remarkably different personal style even though we're both attracted to vintage clothes (she's more tailored and timeless and I'm more punk/rockabilly). She's WAY more affectionate and demonstrative than I am, and my ENTJ friend grouses that all those hugs are thrown away on me (our ENTJs eat up Jaye's warmth).

The greatest problem we have is when we're both under so much stress our communication breaks down. We have totally different stress styles (read: pulling in opposite directions). We take our good communication for granted and don't notice it until it breaks down. Then we can go at it like two mountain lions. We find those scenes to be very traumatizing though, so we try HARD to prevent them.

Last night, for example, I was trying to be helpful to Jaye and figure out something to help her feel more grounded when she's under stress (I write or draw, so I have some outlets). We had a miscommunication which escalated into a shouting match because she felt I was "pecking at her face" and being aggressive when that wasn't my intention at all. So, we backtracked and discovered the source of the communication error and proceeded forward again very calmly.

I can't imagine any ENFP wanting to be married to an extroverted NFJ *EVER*. As she says to me, "Monkeybrains, I love you, but one of you is enough. You drive me to drink."

:D
 

Domino

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The main contention in the Reese Witherspoon thread seems to be whether she is a ENFP or ENFJ (with a few ESFJers in the mix also).

People, I'm trying to find some meaningful differences between the ENFJ/ENFP personalities. The difference between ENFs isn't the difference between apples and kangaroos, it's the difference between a Fuji apple, or Macintosh apple, or a Granny Smith.

Can anybody think of anything? I see ENFPs as being more tangential and stream of consciousness than ENFJs. ENFJs want the connection to and between people, while ENFPs seem to concentrate on the connections themselves. It's like ENFJs focus on the point of contact and ENFPs on the mode of contact. What do y'all think?


Reese Witherspoon? IMO, she's an ESTJ. She's just like my mother. Seriously.

No way is she an ENFJ/P.
 

Vortex

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(Has anyone ever met an ENFP that didn't come across as "weird"? Endearing, loveable, intelligent, yes, but normal?)


Okay, I really almost seriously fell off my chair and rolled over the floor. That's hilarious! It really hits home - it should be in that short description thingie.
 

autumn

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I would think that ENFP and INFP would be more similar, and INFJ and ENFJ would be more similar. The reason I say this is that both an ENFP and INFP have Ne and Fi as their top two functions, though the ENFP has dominant Ne/auxiliary Fi and the INFP has dominant Fi/auxiliary Ne. Likewise for the INFJ and ENFJ and their dominant and auxiliary functions (Fe and Ni).

However, with a J/P difference, a lot more things are switched around. ENFP has dominant Ne and auxiliary Fi, but ENFJ has dominant Fe and auxiliary Ni. The switch from Fi to Fe and Ne to Ni would theoretically make ENFP and ENFJ more different than one may initially think upon seeing that three out of four letters are the same, though the NF temperament they share will obviously mean they have a lot of essential things in common.

There is a lady who put together an extensive site for INFx people trying to determine whether they are an INFP or INFJ. While I don't necessarily think everything she says is correct, I did find much of it very insightful and informative as far as understanding how this kind of a J/P difference plays out in many of its facets. I wonder if there is an analogous way that ENFP and ENFJ types may relate to one another.

Does anyone have any ideas on this?
 

Mycroft

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Okay, I really almost seriously fell off my chair and rolled over the floor. That's hilarious! It really hits home - it should be in that short description thingie.

All of the ENFPs I've known were:

a.) female.
b.) quirky and a pleasure to be around.
c.) total fashion disasters.

It was part of their charm.
 
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