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  1. #11
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    The main contention in the Reese Witherspoon thread seems to be whether she is a ENFP or ENFJ (with a few ESFJers in the mix also).

    People, I'm trying to find some meaningful differences between the ENFJ/ENFP personalities. The difference between ENFs isn't the difference between apples and kangaroos, it's the difference between a Fuji apple, or Macintosh apple, or a Granny Smith.

    Can anybody think of anything? I see ENFPs as being more tangential and stream of consciousness than ENFJs. ENFJs want the connection to and between people, while ENFPs seem to concentrate on the connections themselves. It's like ENFJs focus on the point of contact and ENFPs on the mode of contact. What do y'all think?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
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    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #12
    Senior Member Vortex's Avatar
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    I think it's quite difficult (for me at least) to pinpoint the differences. I don't have a wide selection of ENFJs in my social circle to draw on, so it's mostly theoretical and guesswork. As unhelpful as it might seem, I don't think it's necessarily in the connections the differences are - at least not necessarily in the way described. But I'm not sure I understand 'point of contact' and 'mode of contact' - care to elaborate?

  3. #13
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    I have some experience with ENFJ's and only suspected ENFP that I know (in addition to myself). But here are some of my thoughts anyway.

    My first (intuitive) impression of ENFJ’s is that they are very soft and warm. ENFP's are also warm but not as soft and as warm as ENFJ's. ENFP's are more random than and not as focused as ENFJ's. ENFJ's are very capable of planning the connection with people when ENFP's are just what they are with people.

    ENFJ's want to make everyone feel good (if they are in good mood and if they want this) by different means than ENFP's. They can create and destroy the general atmosphere with a step by step method. ENFP's just rush in and radiate the feeling around them and not necessary plan to do it.

    So I would say that ENFJ's are better with people in a methodical and planned way when ENFP's are better with people in a spontaneous way. I think ENFJ's are more aware of their impact on people and of their influence skills (which are great by the way). ENFP's might not be that aware of their impact in people.
    Last edited by alcea rosea; 02-10-2008 at 11:30 AM.

  4. #14
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    ENFJs can be so skilled that they can appear to be S in the sense that they know exactly how to adapt themselves to make the other person comfortable. They meet people on their terms.
    They can come across as quite "perfectly normal" when they're being accomodating. (I would argue that ENFJs are not "normal" though in the sense that most people are S and their similarities are all superficial instead of core similarities.)
    ENFPs, however, make people feel safe and comfortable in a very quirky way. They never look normal, but they accomplish the same goals as ENFJs. (Has anyone ever met an ENFP that didn't come across as "weird"? Endearing, loveable, intelligent, yes, but normal?)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  5. #15
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I'm really enjoying the ENFP thread and identifying with many topics the ENFPs are bringing up. Aside from both types being NFs (which of course implies much overlap) what are some things these two types have in common and what are the differences?

    I haven't had much experience with ENFPs; I've meet a couple, I felt like we could hit it off but it just didn't materialize. Can we identify some barriers to communication between these types?
    I have 30 years of experience with ENFP-eNFJ interactions as my twin is an ENFP, so I think I can put in a few things here.

    Jaye and I get along 98% of the time. We have the same sense of humor (hers is more slapstick and mine is a bit more verbal and cutting) and we laugh over the same things. I think it helps that I'm more introverted than she is, so it's not like two extroverts colliding all the time. We like completely different types of men. We have remarkably different personal style even though we're both attracted to vintage clothes (she's more tailored and timeless and I'm more punk/rockabilly). She's WAY more affectionate and demonstrative than I am, and my ENTJ friend grouses that all those hugs are thrown away on me (our ENTJs eat up Jaye's warmth).

    The greatest problem we have is when we're both under so much stress our communication breaks down. We have totally different stress styles (read: pulling in opposite directions). We take our good communication for granted and don't notice it until it breaks down. Then we can go at it like two mountain lions. We find those scenes to be very traumatizing though, so we try HARD to prevent them.

    Last night, for example, I was trying to be helpful to Jaye and figure out something to help her feel more grounded when she's under stress (I write or draw, so I have some outlets). We had a miscommunication which escalated into a shouting match because she felt I was "pecking at her face" and being aggressive when that wasn't my intention at all. So, we backtracked and discovered the source of the communication error and proceeded forward again very calmly.

    I can't imagine any ENFP wanting to be married to an extroverted NFJ *EVER*. As she says to me, "Monkeybrains, I love you, but one of you is enough. You drive me to drink."

    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  6. #16
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    The main contention in the Reese Witherspoon thread seems to be whether she is a ENFP or ENFJ (with a few ESFJers in the mix also).

    People, I'm trying to find some meaningful differences between the ENFJ/ENFP personalities. The difference between ENFs isn't the difference between apples and kangaroos, it's the difference between a Fuji apple, or Macintosh apple, or a Granny Smith.

    Can anybody think of anything? I see ENFPs as being more tangential and stream of consciousness than ENFJs. ENFJs want the connection to and between people, while ENFPs seem to concentrate on the connections themselves. It's like ENFJs focus on the point of contact and ENFPs on the mode of contact. What do y'all think?

    Reese Witherspoon? IMO, she's an ESTJ. She's just like my mother. Seriously.

    No way is she an ENFJ/P.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #17
    Senior Member Vortex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    (Has anyone ever met an ENFP that didn't come across as "weird"? Endearing, loveable, intelligent, yes, but normal?)

    Okay, I really almost seriously fell off my chair and rolled over the floor. That's hilarious! It really hits home - it should be in that short description thingie.

  8. #18
    Senior Member autumn's Avatar
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    I would think that ENFP and INFP would be more similar, and INFJ and ENFJ would be more similar. The reason I say this is that both an ENFP and INFP have Ne and Fi as their top two functions, though the ENFP has dominant Ne/auxiliary Fi and the INFP has dominant Fi/auxiliary Ne. Likewise for the INFJ and ENFJ and their dominant and auxiliary functions (Fe and Ni).

    However, with a J/P difference, a lot more things are switched around. ENFP has dominant Ne and auxiliary Fi, but ENFJ has dominant Fe and auxiliary Ni. The switch from Fi to Fe and Ne to Ni would theoretically make ENFP and ENFJ more different than one may initially think upon seeing that three out of four letters are the same, though the NF temperament they share will obviously mean they have a lot of essential things in common.

    There is a lady who put together an extensive site for INFx people trying to determine whether they are an INFP or INFJ. While I don't necessarily think everything she says is correct, I did find much of it very insightful and informative as far as understanding how this kind of a J/P difference plays out in many of its facets. I wonder if there is an analogous way that ENFP and ENFJ types may relate to one another.

    Does anyone have any ideas on this?

  9. #19
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vortex View Post
    Okay, I really almost seriously fell off my chair and rolled over the floor. That's hilarious! It really hits home - it should be in that short description thingie.
    All of the ENFPs I've known were:

    a.) female.
    b.) quirky and a pleasure to be around.
    c.) total fashion disasters.

    It was part of their charm.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Vortex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    c.) total fashion disasters.
    I knew there was a good reason to only wear black!

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