User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 55

Thread: ENFJ behaviour

  1. #11
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    It may not even be related directly towards you, but you are the outlet because something you did triggered it that relates to the core internal conflict. This is how it appears from the outside. You can tell when they hit Ti-Ni, they get this extremely pissed off look.

    My wife asked me the other day why everyone is so scared of talking to her when they screw up. She sees the aftermath, but not the storm.
    You talk about her doing this *A LOT*. Your wife sounds like she has a learned anger management problem. It's not a type problem. It's a person problem.

    People have said they were intimidated by me but those people generally and quickly fell into the obvious categories of "Had A Confrontation Coming For Repeatedly Acting like a Jerk" or "Passive-Aggressive Irresponsible Conflict-Avoidant Who Wants to Hang Their Fear on Others".

    People have backed down in intimidation from my ENTJ best friend, my ESTJ mother, my ENFP sister, my ISTJ half-sister, my ISFP friend. An angry woman has no type. The pissed-off look is universal. She also sounds like she's surrounded by people who can dish it but can't take it either, and THAT part isn't her fault.

    Your wife needs to seek counseling and I mean that kindly.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,501

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You talk about her doing this *A LOT*. Your wife sounds like she has a learned anger management problem. It's not a type problem. It's a person problem.

    People have said they were intimidated by me but those people generally and quickly fell into the obvious categories of "Had A Confrontation Coming For Repeatedly Acting like a Jerk" or "Passive-Aggressive Irresponsible Conflict-Avoidant Who Wants to Hang Their Fear on Others".

    People have backed down in intimidation from my ENTJ best friend, my ESTJ mother, my ENFP sister, my ISTJ half-sister, my ISFP friend. An angry woman has no type. The pissed-off look is universal. She also sounds like she's surrounded by people who can dish it but can't take it either, and THAT part isn't her fault.

    Your wife needs to seek counseling and I mean that kindly.
    Thats my inferior Fe speaking. It can make things seem worse than they are. I was trying to explain the "all hell breaks loose" and that was the best I could do. You must use the worst to be able to explain it in detail. Try explaining a tornado using a little dust whirlwind. It just doesnt work. There are all different levels and everyone can take it at different amounts to different extents. Some types have a hard time of getting past plain ol' tell it like it is honesty.

    I do know the pissed off look of women, but ENFJs take it to a different level others get all huffy puffy and cant seem to get it out like they want. ENFJs are not limited by this they know how to get it out verbally and will.

  3. #13
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Thats my inferior Fe speaking. It can make things seem worse than they are. I was trying to explain the "all hell breaks loose" and that was the best I could do. You must use the worst to be able to explain it in detail. Try explaining a tornado using a little dust whirlwind. It just doesnt work. There are all different levels and everyone can take it at different amounts to different extents. Some types have a hard time of getting past plain ol' tell it like it is honesty.
    I will concede this point. Do not ISTPs operate on the same platform of directness?

    I do know the pissed off look of women, but ENFJs take it to a different level others get all huffy puffy and cant seem to get it out like they want. ENFJs are not limited by this they know how to get it out verbally and will.
    Ok. And this one. I can lock and load with one hand, and have several shots off before the repeat offender has a chance to go for his gun. Ever see that one Far Side cartoon where this gunfighter is standing over a dead guy and is asking questions, like "What is the square of fifty four?" or something silly, and some old guy is shouting, "Darn you, Black Bill, you ask questions FIRST, THEN shoot!" I have to laugh every time I see that.

    I wonder what an ESFJ looks like when the missiles have been armed. I assume this is an Fe thing? The sudden mental ordering and clarity of the burn-down?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #14
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I wonder what an ESFJ looks like when the missiles have been armed. I assume this is an Fe thing? The sudden mental ordering and clarity of the burn-down?
    You don't want to see an ESFJ like that...RUN. I used to be around an ESFJ who had their missiles loaded regularly and I would be the one who he took it out on. All hell can break loose with ESFJs too. Fe can be a scary, scary thing when angered. Oops, I might have misinterpreted the question.

    If you are talking about an ESFJ who's stressed, angry and has had enough, they might erupt at every little annoyance. ESFJs DO emotion when they hit the brink and the missiles are loaded.

  5. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    79

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pinballs View Post
    Hello, I have a question about ENFJs,

    I've seen that ENFJs reveal more to people they're close to, but do they behave differently too? Are they more likely to be toned down and less extravagant?

    When ENFJs are being extreme is that for their own enjoyment or are they trying to entertain others? ...or is that the same thing.

    And is it always the case that ENFJs are upfront about someone they like, I sort of get the feeling that mixed messages from an ENFJ is always a bad sign. But maybe just like everyone they find real intimacy a bit scary so might need to back off sometimes. Is there any foolproof test to see how deeply an ENFJ feels..?


    Thanks
    I think ENFJ's are certainly outgoing in the sense that we converse with most people freely, but as far as revealing ourselves, we are extremely reserved. We have to truly believe you will appreciate us when we STOP being so charismatic and social and can handle our mixed, darker emotions.

    I don't think there is a foolproof way to see how deeply an ENFJ feels because we tend not to be able to even verbally express the depth to which we feel things. However, ENFJs are pretty in-tune with what they feel and why they feel it.

  6. #16
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WieldingTheSword View Post
    I think ENFJ's are certainly outgoing in the sense that we converse with most people freely, but as far as revealing ourselves, we are extremely reserved. We have to truly believe you will appreciate us when we STOP being so charismatic and social and can handle our mixed, darker emotions.

    I don't think there is a foolproof way to see how deeply an ENFJ feels because we tend not to be able to even verbally express the depth to which we feel things. However, ENFJs are pretty in-tune with what they feel and why they feel it.
    Indeed. I don't take time with people I don't like or see some sort of use for. As I get to know you (after you've passed the instinctive "good person/bad person" alarm system), it will become more and more evident how I feel about you. I have a very bad poker face. Everything I feel shows in my eyes. My general warmth is never fake, but the depths and levels I go to is something I reserve for friends only. A good sign is if I feel comfortable enough to freely argue or disagree with you, even heatedly. That means you're beyond the Pleasant Acquaintance Containment Room.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,501

    Default

    Cause them to completely crash and it will come out. You must get past the dark emotions, get past the fight, completely exhaust them to the point where they have no fight left. The feelings are there. I have got there a few times.

  8. #18
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Cause them to completely crash and it will come out. You must get past the dark emotions, get past the fight, completely exhaust them to the point where they have no fight left. The feelings are there. I have got there a few times.
    You have gone where few have gone before. You must be a special man.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #19
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    5,514

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Indeed. I don't take time with people I don't like or see some sort of use for. As I get to know you (after you've passed the instinctive "good person/bad person" alarm system), it will become more and more evident how I feel about you. I have a very bad poker face. Everything I feel shows in my eyes. My general warmth is never fake, but the depths and levels I go to is something I reserve for friends only. A good sign is if I feel comfortable enough to freely argue or disagree with you, even heatedly. That means you're beyond the Pleasant Acquaintance Containment Room.
    P.A.C.R. I like that acronym. I'm stealing it!

    But seriously, what's so wrong with being there? That's a cool place to be! That means I Like You. We're simpatico. We hang out, I like to discuss things with you, I call you up ask for your opinion on things rather than smiling and saying "That's very interesting!" We eat interesting foods, see progressive theater and contemporary art, I get drunk with you, try to smother you with my breasts. I may even sniff your finger! You're the person that I say, hey I'm going through Philly this weekend and I want to drop by and see you.

    P.A.C.R.'s kinda like being in Limbo. I mean really, people that I'm closest to have to deal with a lot of my stuff. It's not always Tahitian Sands resort. And what if you get there and it's all a bottomless black sucking void? Now you want a refund and guess what? ALL SALES ARE FINAL.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  10. #20
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w3
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    1,037

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    You don't want to see an ESFJ like that...RUN. I used to be around an ESFJ who had their missiles loaded regularly and I would be the one who he took it out on. All hell can break loose with ESFJs too. Fe can be a scary, scary thing when angered. Oops, I might have misinterpreted the question.

    If you are talking about an ESFJ who's stressed, angry and has had enough, they might erupt at every little annoyance. ESFJs DO emotion when they hit the brink and the missiles are loaded.
    *has witnessed this with multiple ESFJs*
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

    My thoughts on...
    Enneagram:
    Socionics:
    MBTI:

    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] Hate an ENFJ? Tell us why!
    By proteanmix in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 548
    Last Post: 03-03-2016, 02:16 AM
  2. [ENFJ] What are nice ENFJs like?
    By miss fortune in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 08-29-2011, 04:45 AM
  3. [ENFJ] ENFJ self-image as exemplary human being
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 02-06-2011, 04:35 PM
  4. [ENFJ] ENFJ: Talk About Yourself!
    By Usehername in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 167
    Last Post: 03-24-2010, 01:09 AM
  5. [ENFJ] Positive Qualities of ENFJs
    By INTJMom in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 08-06-2008, 06:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO