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[INFJ] INFJs the rarest type...

Elusivity

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2011
Messages
14
MBTI Type
ENTP
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935
Instinctual Variant
sx
i think their energy has a lot to do with their enneagram type. their enneagram type helps articulate their development as an infj, ie 5s are usually the most T and knowledge focused, 4s are the most immediately expressive, and 9s and 1s are floating around somewhere in the ether (out of the 10 or so infjs i've met, i've never met one). 6s are the most fidgety and incredibly anxious (met 2 so far?).

Just had to respond to this.

I am literally just returned from a date with an INFJ type 1 sx-dom man... one of the most physically beautiful, socially accomplished, intelligent, well-dressed, annoying, controlling, smooth-talking in a seemingly sincere way (oh, Fe used so well!), alpha males I have ever met. The Enneagram type and sx variant does much to turn MBTI stereotype upside-down.

Being type 1, he holds himself to certain very high standards: graduated cum laude from business school, works at prestigious corporation, extremely well-dressed (how beautiful he looks in these tailored suits), amazing body. Reads poetry and novels with literary acclaim on romantic love. Believes that his life is converging towards a purpose as he grows older (he is in his early 30s), though it is not yet revealed just what that purpose is.

Unfortunately, being sx-dom -- he applies those high standard especially towards his loved ones. I guess as a date and therefore at least potential love interest, I qualified for some side-swipes in that direction. I have never been lectured, in such a poetic manner, so much in 1 hour's time, with him interrupting me multiple times to discourse on men and women's gender role in society, especially in the context of love and sex, all the while disclaiming, "I'm not saying you're like this, because I don't really know you, but women are like this.." blah blah poetically blah.

So I've heard people mention that an INFJ has the urge to guide their loved ones onto a better road. I've just always imagined it would be done in a more gentle, slow, and considerate manner. I've met this man twice and now just experienced having a finger stabbed towards my face, emphasizing a point that was, of course, for "my benefit and growth." I admit that despite this, he was sweet and considerate through out, and very well-mannered, but INTENSE.

He is like INFJ type description concentrated 10x, and while my self-esteem is usually pretty good (type 3 sx-dom), I felt like I can never measure up.

But I think I would totally dig a type 9 though... That is, if another INFJ would ever come my way again...
 

wildflower

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Joined
Jul 8, 2011
Messages
317
Just had to respond to this.

I am literally just returned from a date with an INFJ type 1 sx-dom man... one of the most physically beautiful, socially accomplished, intelligent, well-dressed, annoying, controlling, smooth-talking in a seemingly sincere way (oh, Fe used so well!), alpha males I have ever met. The Enneagram type and sx variant does much to turn MBTI stereotype upside-down.

Being type 1, he holds himself to certain very high standards: graduated cum laude from business school, works at prestigious corporation, extremely well-dressed (how beautiful he looks in these tailored suits), amazing body. Reads poetry and novels with literary acclaim on romantic love. Believes that his life is converging towards a purpose as he grows older (he is in his early 30s), though it is not yet revealed just what that purpose is.

i'm wondering how you know his type since you say you've met this man twice. did you ask or are these your estimations? i ask because he sounds like a classic enneagram 3. he does not sound at all like an infj to me but possibly entj. ymmv.
 

Kierva

#KUWK
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Dec 8, 2010
Messages
2,469
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6w7
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sp/sx
Half the INFJs here are probably posing as Ti + Ni ISTPs since they're so rare and all.

Or it could just be projection since everyone wants to be a special snowflake + the fact that there are so many damned NFs here.
 

Elusivity

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Oct 19, 2011
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14
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ENTP
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935
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sx
i'm wondering how you know his type since you say you've met this man twice. did you ask or are these your estimations? i ask because he sounds like a classic enneagram 3. he does not sound at all like an infj to me but possibly entj. ymmv.

Hmm, of course, it's just an incident seen through the lens of my own perspective :) I can only say I've spent more than 15 years immersed in cognitive function studies and have become rather good at typing people.

Ni conversation style is very distinctive -- the way every seemingly unrelated subject converges toward a unified point -- and I notice especially because it is so directly opposite to the way my Ne diverges outwards. Fe and Te energy feels NOTHING alike. He is actually very introverted, perfectly happy with "awkward silences" and fading into the background; I just happen to be good at listening and opening people up. By "alpha male", I meant innate self-confidence, that doesn't feel the need to prove anything to anyone. And finally, we're two sx-doms involved in prospective romance ;) so, it was a very intense kind of "twice."

Type 1 and type 3 doesn't feel similar, either. Type 3 really is all about the image. I am not emotionally invested in my image, except that it be the best I can convey (actually, I'm a non-asleep 9 ;D but do have a huge type 3 component). Type 1, however, have a fiery zealot under their skin, and the righteous anger comes quite easily to the surface when their ideals are touched. My only explanation for his seeming like an ENTJ Type 3 on paper is, somehow, his personal ideals just happen to be typical type 3 goals..

Nevertheless, I agree this isn't typical INFJ behavior. It's been slowly dawning on me that I've been deliberately played in the most charming way by the finest, most emotionally manipulative flirt I've ever met. He'd totally read me, and left me unsure whether I wanted to strangle him or rip off his cloths.

Wow, I swoon just thinking about it. :wubbie:

(LOL. Is that a weird response? It's because I'm a pretty good flirt, and he knew I'd recognize what he did as an amazing demonstration of skillz!)
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
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Jan 15, 2009
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6,180
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INTJ
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5w6
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sp/so

wildflower

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Jul 8, 2011
Messages
317
Nevertheless, I agree this isn't typical INFJ behavior. It's been slowly dawning on me that I've been deliberately played in the most charming way by the finest, most emotionally manipulative flirt I've ever met. He'd totally read me, and left me unsure whether I wanted to strangle him or rip off his cloths.
well, whatever type he is it sounds like you are in for an interesting ride. :)
 

RaptorWizard

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Mar 19, 2012
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5,895
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sx/so
I just read this whole thread and am like WTF of all the types somehow these INFJs are the most mysterious, wise, insightful, rare, and mystical and OMG such divine and special people of rapturous amazement and I as a TP with very low I and N can never compare to the sheer inner complexity and intricacy of the INFJ! Seriously though it seems like every IN type except INTPs are way too complicated for their own good health and fortune expecially these INFJs!
 

sprinkles

Mojibake
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Jul 5, 2012
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2,959
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INFJ
Even if it's true - and I'm not saying it is - being the rarest type is probably in context of types.

If it's 1% that's still a whole heck of a lot of people.

Edit: Dangit, Raptor! :p
 

Tiltyred

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In my experience, INFPs are the most "typologically confused" - they test INTP one morning, then ESFJ the next.

Anyway, I've noticed that people who discover Myers Briggs often do so through a search to understand themselves. And frequently, this search is triggered by a perception that there is something abnormal about them. So that's why a lot of Myers Briggs boards tend to have high number of Ns (Ns being in the minority in the general populace, and frequently treated as an albatross by a lot of social circles), and then there are people who have mental issues who are attracted to Myers Briggs (people with mental issues also have trouble fitting in, you see). And of course, Myers Briggs is a big relief to Ns with mental issues. So I see a lot of people with mental issues using a particular type as an explanation of their abnormal mental states i.e., "I'm not schizoid bipolar, I'm just an artistic INFP, lol", or "INFJs are the rarest types, no wonder everyone in school always thought I was a mental case". Some people mistype themselves because they read some crude type-explanation and think "It says here than INTJs tend to be cantankerous assholes. Hey, I'm a cantankerous asshole. I must be an INTJ!"

And thus you get all these people causing general type confusion.

By the way, y'all need to stop with the "I'm an INFJ, and even though I'm a J, my desk is messy!!!" stuff.
A LOT of xNxJs tend to have messy desks, even though they are Js. That's because they are also Ns, and as such, often spend too much time in their head and ignore their physical surroundings, resulting in general disarray. It's not some mystery INFJ-specific trait.

INFJs predominate on the internet in many subjects, not just MBTI. Because of this, I don't think it's that we're looking for why we don't fit in. I think it's that we fit in on the internet, so you find a lot of us here.
 

Ene

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5w4
Ugh, here's an INFJ characteristic. I just spent thirty minutes typing out an enormous reply then decided I had said nothing profound enough to matter so I deleted the whole thing!
 
A

A_priori

Guest
Being an XXXX is completely subjective to start with. A lot of the questions regarding the MBTI are to black and white. However, I seriously doubt the authenticity of the number of INFJs I see on these forums and over you tube. I do believe that we are rare it would seem that many people want to be typed as one. To tell you guys the truth though, I do not personally feel we have an advantage over anyone. What makes somone unique is really about that persons integrity. Does that person do the right things and if so are they for the right reasons. For example I work with a few differnt N types who walk all over people but believe that they are kind and patient. It's very hard to look at yourself through objective introspection and be honest with who you really are. IMO the MBTI is rather bias and does not in most cases help people grow. Instead it puts a label to who you are and some people "a lot of people" take this label way to far. In order to be a healthy XXXX you must be able to apply all 8 functions, and while we might see distinctions which are indicative to certain charictoristics, we do not fit into excat molds. This is the truth and I have seen far to many people on here over my short span of joining this forum, who are way to by the book. Especially INFJs who are supposed to be empathic and look at things from a bunch of differt angles. So back to the the pending question, are INFJs 1-3%, I don't think we will ever know especially when you are talkin to a bunch of people over forums. What's important is that we dont get caught up thinking like textbooks and realize the importance of being subseptable to new information. After all the makings for the MBTI date as far back as the early 1900s and unless you still believe in stuff like the malleus maleficarum, you should really find out more about the historics of the test. Don't get me wrong i'm not totally negating the test Im just saying...
 

Reverie

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Messages
291
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INFJ
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4w3
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sx
If it's 1% that's still a whole heck of a lot of people.
Thank you!!! That's what people conveniently ignore. I used to DJ at a club that held 200 punters...that's a likelihood of two INFJs! The larger concert venue we have around these parts has the capacity for a crowd of 15 000. That's a possibility of 150 INFJs per sold out concert. Not feeling so lonely anymore. I know at least three confirmed INFJ musicians in the local music scene...though I'm sure there are many more. ...and the thing is, they wouldn't be easily recognizable if you just read those online profiles. I feel internally that they represent what I am like but externally I think people would have a hard time putting the two and two together if they had to match a MBTI profile to me for example. I'm not a shy meek librarian.

I just read this whole thread and am like WTF of all the types somehow these INFJs are the most mysterious, wise, insightful, rare, and mystical and OMG such divine and special people of rapturous amazement and I as a TP with very low I and N can never compare to the sheer inner complexity and intricacy of the INFJ! Seriously though it seems like every IN type except INTPs are way too complicated for their own good health and fortune expecially these INFJs!
:fairy::unicorn::jesus::unicorn::fairy: What on earth do you mean??? My unicorns are getting anxious from your words...
 

sprinkles

Mojibake
Joined
Jul 5, 2012
Messages
2,959
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INFJ
Thank you!!! That's what people conveniently ignore. I used to DJ at a club that held 200 punters...that's a likelihood of two INFJs! The larger concert venue we have around these parts has the capacity for a crowd of 15 000. That's a possibility of 150 INFJs per sold out concert. Not feeling so lonely anymore. I know at least three confirmed INFJ musicians in the local music scene...though I'm sure there are many more. ...and the thing is, they wouldn't be easily recognizable if you just read those online profiles. I feel internally that they represent what I am like but externally I think people would have a hard time putting the two and two together if they had to match a MBTI profile to me for example. I'm not a shy meek librarian.


:fairy::unicorn::jesus::unicorn::fairy: What on earth do you mean??? My unicorns are getting anxious from your words...

Yeah. And if for whatever reason something tends to cause more flocking behavior in INFJs, there's enough in the population to even get larger numbers in that venue. So you could conceivably have a thing that even draws a rate of 50% INFJs to others, hypothetically.
 

entropie

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Apr 24, 2008
Messages
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Being an XXXX is completely subjective to start with. A lot of the questions regarding the MBTI are to black and white. However, I seriously doubt the authenticity of the number of INFJs I see on these forums and over you tube. I do believe that we are rare it would seem that many people want to be typed as one. To tell you guys the truth though, I do not personally feel we have an advantage over anyone. What makes somone unique is really about that persons integrity. Does that person do the right things and if so are they for the right reasons. For example I work with a few differnt N types who walk all over people but believe that they are kind and patient. It's very hard to look at yourself through objective introspection and be honest with who you really are. IMO the MBTI is rather bias and does not in most cases help people grow. Instead it puts a label to who you are and some people "a lot of people" take this label way to far. In order to be a healthy XXXX you must be able to apply all 8 functions, and while we might see distinctions which are indicative to certain charictoristics, we do not fit into excat molds. This is the truth and I have seen far to many people on here over my short span of joining this forum, who are way to by the book. Especially INFJs who are supposed to be empathic and look at things from a bunch of differt angles. So back to the the pending question, are INFJs 1-3%, I don't think we will ever know especially when you are talkin to a bunch of people over forums. What's important is that we dont get caught up thinking like textbooks and realize the importance of being subseptable to new information. After all the makings for the MBTI date as far back as the early 1900s and unless you still believe in stuff like the malleus maleficarum, you should really find out more about the historics of the test. Don't get me wrong i'm not totally negating the test Im just saying...

Wise words, only rarely spoken in these halls.

I'ld even go further and say that 8 functions will never suffice to classify humanity as a whole. Coming from Europe and therefore from a totally different cultural background, knowing different cultural backgrounds than the english-german one, I can tell you that for example in France the mbti just collapses. You'ld have to label them all a bunch of SJs and according to mbti that could be true. But it would do you no good at understanding that culture really. For that you'ld need a new system again.

And since systems suck, best is and best stays to develop a healthy knowledge of the human nature for yourself.
 

Reverie

In orbit
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
291
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx
Yeah. And if for whatever reason something tends to cause more flocking behavior in INFJs, there's enough in the population to even get larger numbers in that venue. So you could conceivably have a thing that even draws a rate of 50% INFJs to others, hypothetically.
Yes! :) I was reading some posts about people saying INFJs would never put themselves in a position where they'd stand out voluntarily. Funnily enough the majority of all-female bands in our local scene has currently or has had in it's history a female INFJ as the lead singer or lead guitarist. The older ladies have a little IN singers posse with plenty of INFJs, INFPs and a few INTPs (I suspect). There are lots and lots around. Much more than you'd think. I've met quite a few female INFJ tattoo artists too.
 
W

WALMART

Guest
INFJs are supposed to be rare. Maybe it's possible that when research was done to find the percentage number of each type, INFJs were only rare because they were the hardest to actually type.
SO catching the INFJ in their original state was really hard. INFJs can easily mislead people into thinking they are any other personality type.

I'm just saying INFJs could be more common than we think they actually are. I'm not sure exactly how the research was carried out so if they had their own 'full-proof' method to determining the INFJ then I could be wrong.


@Ragingkatsuki,


I enjoy seeing you prior to your wisdom.

I feel you will appreciate this post, rather than scorn.
 
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