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  1. #11
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like provably was having a bad day or something and he might have taken it out on you. Either way, its not your fault and I am not entirely sure that he knows that he made you feel this bad over response to that card that you sent him.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  2. #12
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    I don't care about birthdays, personally; it's nice to be remembered, but I don't hold anybody to it.

    Sounds like he might. Though he's also being a shallow bastard and not showing you what he feels about you, truly--whether that means he's in love, or doesn't want you to keep chasing, either way (sounds like the latter rather than the former). I guess he could also be scared to show you, because he may not know how you feel about him, if he isn't trying to get away from you.

    Then again, it could be as simple as he was out of energy by the time he wrote back to you...that his mask fell off briefly and his true feelings over everybody forgetting him started to show.

    Try not to think so hard on him...if an NF can't be open, then he isn't worth talking to, even though we know we're amazing and can understand why somebody might get hung up on us.

    Not that you are, my INFP friend; I respect your emotional integrity and I know you might have good reason to be. This guy may very well just be not worth it.

    --Fuzz
    Love is the point.

  3. #13
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Guy sounds like a loser, [which is not type related, before I get assaulted with that...] and not worth any amount of your time. I wouldn't worry too much about it since you don't seem to see him/keep in touch that much anymore, and it sounds like he is just lashing out at you because he's not in such a good place himself.



  4. #14
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    ^Thanks for not bashing me Jock.
    Love is the point.

  5. #15
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    Sounds to me like provably was having a bad day or something and he might have taken it out on you. Either way, its not your fault and I am not entirely sure that he knows that he made you feel this bad over response to that card that you sent him.
    Well, I called him an ingrate, but it was half-joking. He just ignored it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    Sounds like he might. Though he's also being a shallow bastard and not showing you what he feels about you, truly--whether that means he's in love, or doesn't want you to keep chasing, either way (sounds like the latter rather than the former). I guess he could also be scared to show you, because he may not know how you feel about him, if he isn't trying to get away from you.

    Try not to think so hard on him...if an NF can't be open, then he isn't worth talking to, even though we know we're amazing and can understand why somebody might get hung up on us.

    Not that you are, my INFP friend; I respect your emotional integrity and I know you might have good reason to be. This guy may very well just be not worth it.
    It's not a romantic relationship :eek:, and I'm definitely not chasing anyone.... I'd say he initiates contact more than me.

    I checked last year's emails also, and just as I suspected, I was late then with a message also, and I didn't even bother with a card. IDK, I guess I'll just chalk it up to him being in a bad mood this year, and I was the random person he snapped at.

    I guess the whole thing is just symbolic of not knowing where I stand with this person. I'm very selective about who I call a friend, and I admit a big part of it is making sure the friendship & loyalty is fully reciprocated. I guess that's why I expend mental energy pondering this stuff.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #16
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I hate when people give me crap for failing to meet standards they themselves won't meet. Friendships like that are incredibly stressful.

    I've seen a trend with some ENFJs to have the person standing in front of them become the most important person in the world, at the detriment of true friends and themselves. It would explain his intensity when his attention is directed towards you, and how he appears to forget about you otherwise.

  7. #17
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Maybe he's hurt you're not falling over him anymore. It's possible the less mature of them require their charm to not work once in a while for them to see a need. But, how dare you not fall for his charms!
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #18
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Tell him to shove happy birthday. "Quit being a jerk. NO, QUIT BEING A JERK."

    Guilt trips are NOT COOL.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #19
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    I'm with Pink on this one. It takes more for you to define friendship than us. He needs to understand the pain. Tell him to shove off if he really doesn't want to be friends--tell him he doesn't need to keep up appearances with you like he does with everyone else and that he needs to stop contacting you if he's not serious about being friends.

    His Fe needs to be kicked. He may try to backpedal and be like "of course I want to be friends...", but don't let him off the hook so easily--tell him you want to give him time to really think about it, and that you're a big girl--you can take whatever he wants to say to you.

    I would also explain what friendship means to you. It means something different to him--not as deep a connection.
    Love is the point.

  10. #20
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Maybe he's hurt you're not falling over him anymore. It's possible the less mature of them require their charm to not work once in a while for them to see a need. But, how dare you not fall for his charms!
    Yes, I feel like he has some insecure need for everyone to love him, and when his charms don't work, he does get irritated. I also think once he establishes a friendship, it's like, "Mission accomplished! I have another fan to add to my legions, and now I only have to do the bare minimum to maintain this relationship."


    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    I'm with Pink on this one. It takes more for you to define friendship than us. He needs to understand the pain. Tell him to shove off if he really doesn't want to be friends--tell him he doesn't need to keep up appearances with you like he does with everyone else and that he needs to stop contacting you if he's not serious about being friends.

    His Fe needs to be kicked. He may try to backpedal and be like "of course I want to be friends...", but don't let him off the hook so easily--tell him you want to give him time to really think about it, and that you're a big girl--you can take whatever he wants to say to you.

    I would also explain what friendship means to you. It means something different to him--not as deep a connection.
    Thanks for this input....I think you are right. I've played along with the cutesy coy game for too long. The past year or so, I had kind of just accepted the friendship for what it was, but this is bothering me, and so I guess I hadn't really resolved it. I thought distancing myself would work for me, but he doesn't seem to like that, and he pulls the reigns in when he sees it happening. I just don't like existing in a grey area, because I cannot give the warmth and caring he does without a much deeper feeling behind it. I agree that we have different standards for friendships.

    Oh, and I know not all ENFJs are like this.... my best guy friend is also an ENFJ, and while he has his annoyances, I always know where I stand with him.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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