Yes, exactly. I adore ENFJs as friends, coworkers, etc., etc., but my hunch is that an ENFJ-INFJ relationship wouldn't work out very well, at least not for me. I'm generally the fiery, emotional, mildly unstable one in the relationship and I don't think I could handle dating another me!
I've also seen that INFP+INFJ is sposed to be a good pairing but I feel the same way about that one. Too much emotionality = a potential big mess, in my opinion. My preferred INFJ pairing is either ESTP or ESFP -- their extroversion can draw the INFJ out of their shell and their SPness helps the INFJ slow down and enjoy life.
meh, i think the whole e/i pairing thing leaves a lot to be desired. i know that's what the literature says, but i don't want an 'e' to draw me out. i like down time and to me, enfjs expend a LOT of energy dealing with people. fine for being friends--or great--, but i'd end up doing/being by myself a lot in that relationship, which isn't my preferred way of being with my s.o.......i like introverts because we can just hang out and there isn't always that motivation or drive to be around others or do group activities or lots of activity involvement (haha, my perception of e types).
so, i think you have to know your own comfort level with being extraverted, or having another 'draw you out'. and would the enfj like doing a lot on their own because you were just tired of being around people and doing things. i think a matured enfj would be okay with it, but a younger one might be looking for that constant companion for everything they wanna do.
4w5 5w4 1w9
~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
Life Path 11
The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.
Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39
I'm comfortable with moderate Introverts and moderate Extroverts. Anything to far to one side can be problematic. The ENTP I dated was very "present" but chill and could go for hours without talking. The INTP wasn't terribly introverted either.
I like them fine, but don't want a deep Introvert to feel besieged by me, and I in turn, don't need a big ol' pile of E flying at me, so I prefer the middle road. I walk the middle line myself E/I split, so I can lean a little to either side. I can be reticent like an I, needing a boost to get out and do, but also have my own external energies and primary Fe to deal with.
Nothing more aggravating than a high octane E shoving at you, except maybe an I who rolls into a ball every time you look at them.
A social IxTP, or a naturally outgoing but throttled-back ENTP, ftw.
All of this is centered on dating, b/c I can be friends with any one.
eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
AIS Holland code
Gods above. I dated an ENFJ who was in a sorority and one hell of a social butterfly. She couldnt *stand* staying indoors for more than an hour. A truly extreme extrovert who also majored in business. So a lot of manipulation went around. She was insecure and tried very hard to mask it with authority. So Im going to say no way. Im with Domino on this. I damn near blew my brains out trying to find a way to cut her out of my life without sound like an ass. *shivers*
On a less traumatizing note, she spent an humongous amount of time using her energy to besiege and assault my personal time. While I wouldnt mind it in moderated doses, I honestly had zero time to recoup my energy alone to further withstand her energy draining. Too much time spent trying to draw me out of my shell and not enough time spent understanding me as an individual. Kept going on about losing me to another girl and how she wouldnt let that happen. Had no respect for my need to extend a helping hand whether it be male for female. It was just too much. Too domineering, too controlling, too manipulative, and too insecure.
Im not the least bit interested in dating another ENFJ based on this example. Friends maybe, but not dating another one.
My husband is ENFJ and I am INFJ. We have a wonderful soul mate/ best friends relationship. It works on a friend level, and it works on a sex/passion level. We don't do romantic stuff like staring in each other's eyes, because we always start laughing. It works really well as far as shared values and shared communication. The only negative I would say is that we tend to share the same weaknesses - we are both messy, we both are only so-so with money management, and we both tend to be people pleasers and emotionally oversensitive. But honestly, we have a better marriage than absolutely everyone I know. I can't think of anyone who even comes close.
My BFF is ENFJ. We have our disagreements and things that annoy each other, but we've been besties since 1989 and I <3 her dearly! Others have mentioned soul mates, and I would definitely say my bestie is my non-romantic soulmate. We like to refer to ourselves as "Hetero life mates" a la Jay and Silent Bob.
Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.
Though you can't assume that this relationship would be similar to an INTJ+ENTJ because two Fs are incredibly different to two Ts.
To me it'd depend on the genders of the two types also. I say they'd make for good friends but a relationship? I wouldn't advise it.
ENFJs being more outgoing and social as they are and INFJs being more judgemental and introverted.
I feel an INFJ wouldn't enjoy the company an ENFJ keeps for some reason.
ENFJs are all hardcore rawr! and INFJs are all like turtle turtle grr.
Some people suggested SP's for INFJ's here, but I don't think that would be good at all. It would turn into a parent (INFJ)/child (SP) relationship, the SP would feel smothered and the SP would have zero interest for the INFJ's endless brain ramblings.
I can't believe so many people are negative about INFJ/ENFJ. I had no idea relationships could exist on this level until I met my husband. I dated several different types and they were all good, but the INFJ/ENFJ was automatic total soulmate. I can't imagine settling for less after that. Some people worried about the two both being emotional, but that also means that both have a lot of love, which is hard to find in guys sometimes.