[MBTI General] Extroverted Sensors o.O

[Bubbles]

Okay I love ESxx's as much as anyone but I'm sharing a dorm with three and I'm just the oddball. Very, very outsider-like for me. To my knowledge, my roommate is certainly ESTJ, and the other two ESFP and ESTP. Anyway, my shy spacy nature is making me come off as the ditz of us all and I'm never taken seriously. I'm social, but I'm just not social in the same manner they are, if that makes sense. It's quite annoying, I feel like in conversations I hit this wall and it's like BAM, OUCH, WALL, then misunderstanding. I'm fine with my ESFJ and ESFP friends back home, but I haven't exactly known these people I'm rooming with for years and years. ^^;

So. Any tips for adapting, my fellow NFs? Particularly INFxs? ESxx's welcome too.

 

[runvardh]

Not sure if it can be considered adapting, but in that kind of situation I spend more time out for walks. Come up with something really wackey to do that requires leaving the dorm and some kind of action. Just don't do it too often. At first I tend to have test discussions with people, no matter what type. If things don't go well, I don't bother with those discussions when it comes to those people. Also, remember, they're roommates, not SOs or family; I'm sure they can handle it if you have other people you hang out with for your kind of fun.

 

[SolitaryPenguin]

Honestly, I've always needed people like you around to keep me from wandering off into traffic, or eating/drinking things that I shouldn't. I think it's just a matter of learning your role with these new people and filling that niche, if that makes any sense.

 

[Snow Turtle]

Corner each person and take them out one by one.



















Socially of course...

 

[King sns]

It is very difficult to take a bubble with a smiley face on it seriously. Maybe put a stern face on once in a while?

 

[Litvyak]

In a way, I really envy extroverted sensors. 'Se' is an awesome ability I never even came close to grasp, nor did I develop in this field in spite of my repeated efforts, which is a little annoying. I got used to the fact that I can be better in almost everything through a "vision of change", but it didn't really work out with my fourth function. At least til this point.

 

[phthalocyanine]

try going out to a movie or a show you can all get behind and enjoy. or rent something, order a pizza and make a night of it in the dorm.. afterward you could chat about it a bit, maybe over a drink. nothing too complex; casual settings are good. don't muddy the water with anything too serious; jokes and musings are the way to go.

as soon as you connect on something external that a sensor can easily relate to, you'll be more on the same page and more likely to see each other as having things in common..and therefore, become more likely to become better friends.

i find that INFP traits can sometimes baffle ESxx's - they can come off as either self-absorbed and aloof or childlike and overly passive, or maybe a bit of both. what you need to do is find ways to bring out the points you all can relate on - a common interest or sense of humor, maybe.

i used to have this weirdo space case feeling around one ESFP in particular - he actually frightened me we were so opposite (he assertive, rash, and flamboyant; me shy, tactful, and understated) and now we are great friends..which of course i attribute to having shared some interests and humor in a simple, no frills kind of way.

if you find it difficult to establish a sense of kindred, i suggest finding a 'balance of opposites' - if the ESTJ is too hard on themselves, for example, you could be the one to bring them out of their worries and relax more. if the ESFP is too haphazard, you could be the one to politely precaution them.

either way, remember that as an INFP, you have a lot of options afforded to you as you are most likely a natural at finding what role you can fill in a social situation -- that is, if you can quiet that pesky over-thinking conscience's worries for a minute.

good luck!

 

[kiddykat]

Ooh.. I think rooming with anyone is pretty tough. We're sharing our private space with strangers, there has to be some kind of common ground..

Maybe you can crack a joke with your ESXX roommates once in a while? Slowly talk about things that you do have in common. Talk about your experiences, and if too much talking drains you out, make an excuse and go back to your room and study?

Sometimes our deepest bonds are shared with those who we learn most from, but I can certainly understand how one can feel out of place.. Hang in there. Who wouldn't enjoy the company of someone with a smiley face?

 

[Bubbles]

*takes notes* Hmmm. One-on-one has worked best; ESTJ and I have connected quite well over the arts and lunches and other fun things. ESFP and I sometimes hang out, but I swear the ESTP and I mystify each other.

I have discovered that they just have a lot of misconceptions about me, well mostly the suitemates, and it bothered me because I thought we were all chill with each other. I am talkative when we chitchat, after all! Hmmmm. I think my sense of humor involves laughing at myself a lot, and that gives them the impression they can do likewise with me? Except that irks me. Huh. I think I'm being misleading.

However I do take some walks so they don't think I live in the dorm (well, okay, I do, so do they, you get what I meant), and I hang out with a few of them outside of it, as well as other people I met elsewhere, but I guess I just don't like feeling as if I'm being judged as something I'm not! And Solitary Penguin, I agree, these people do stop me from getting run over by the golf karts...or eating key lime pie that I think is cheesecake...or going to the wrong building...okay maybe they have reason to treat me as the ditz. xD

But I'm going to find my niche that doesn't involve being the ditz alone.

 

[Jeffster]

These are all chicks, right?

I suggest you hold a lingerie slumber party. Do each other's hair, have pillow fights. It'll be a very good bonding experience.

And be sure to post the video here for proper type analysis.


Oh wait, you were asking the NFs.

 

[alcea rosea]

So. Any tips for adapting, my fellow NFs? Particularly INFxs? ESxx's welcome too.

Have a ESFP as a dad (like I have) and you'll be ok with them.

 

[SciVo]

I bet you like music and reading, so read up on the local music scene and find an affordable local indie pop show coming up soon. They'll never quite look at you the same way again after you've herded them into going out, even if you have to make it clear that you're there to listen, not to dance.