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  1. #11
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    Its not a bad career, and I am still following my original long-term plan. But I do wonder what would have happened if I had explored a little more when I was younger.
    Well I hadn't looked at it that way before but I guess I will be able say I don't have any regrets. That actually makes me feel a lot better. Not many people get a chance to explore so many different career paths. I don't think I will ever look back and wonder, "Could I have done that?" I've satisfied my curiosity, learned a lot about myself, and now I'm ready to give it my all in whatever I choose to do. Through experience I have gotten to learn one of the most important lessons in life...

    It isn't what you choose but what you put into it that really counts.

  2. #12

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    I am surprised at the reactions. I know someone who thought she was an ISFP (she is really random, punk, and whimy... hence all the college changes).

    But as for some of you, I am an INTP who has changed his major officially once, but unofficially (as in, didn't get it in their records) about 4 times. Computer science -> Information technology -> Family Studies -> Psychology -> Philosophy & Psychology double-major. So, maybe it is just the lack of J??

    All the while considering German or some other linguistics.

    All this indecisiveness (and being a part time student) requires 83 more credits to graduate and I am starting my fourth year. After this semester I will need 68 more...
    God may be defined as the being than which none greater can be concieved.
    I have in my mind the possibility of God.
    -The God exists in the mind and not in reality.
    -But if such a being that exists in the mind and reality is greater than in the mind and not reality.
    -That is a contradiction!
    Therefore, it is not the case that the being exists in the mind and not reality.
    Restated, if the being exists in the mind, then it exists in reality.
    ----------
    God exists in reality.

  3. #13
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Wow... how can people be so indecisive? That's just awful. I mean, didn't you all realize you were making it harder on yourselves by changing paths? You'd have done better to stick with something than to just keep switching around. People really don't plan ahead like they used to... :1377:

  4. #14
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Sounds like me. I've changed my major like 9 times, I'm over 20, a senior in college and even though I have like 100 credits, I'm 50 credits or so from getting my undergrad degree in just about any major. It's a pretty sad situation and I only have myself to blame for it.

    If she is anything like me then she probably has been looking for the "perfect fit" passion to pursue. Of course, eventually you have to just pick something and stick with it.
    By the sound of it, you may also have gone to college before you were ready. I know a few people who went to college, didn't like it, wanted to do something else, and failed a lot of classes. They realized that they simply weren't ready to be self motivated like that, so they are working untill they feel they are ready to go back.

    She probably has other problems...

  5. #15
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Wow... how can people be so indecisive? That's just awful. I mean, didn't you all realize you were making it harder on yourselves by changing paths? You'd have done better to stick with something than to just keep switching around. People really don't plan ahead like they used to... :1377:
    I believe the statistic is that the average college student changes majors 4 times. I don't think it is so much a planning thing as a self exploration thing. Whatever you choose to pursue will be what you do for 40 hours a week, every week, for pretty much the rest of you life. You want to make sure you get it right. I've always had a plan, but plans change and need amendment.

    Quote Originally Posted by GZA View Post
    By the sound of it, you may also have gone to college before you were ready. I know a few people who went to college, didn't like it, wanted to do something else, and failed a lot of classes. They realized that they simply weren't ready to be self motivated like that, so they are working untill they feel they are ready to go back.
    I don't think I was ready for college. It's taken me this long to figure out who I am and what I need from life. I haven't done poorly but I haven't done anywhere near my best either. But now I'm starting to come into my own and I think I'm ready to give it my all in whatever I choose to do.

  6. #16
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Wow... how can people be so indecisive? That's just awful. I mean, didn't you all realize you were making it harder on yourselves by changing paths? You'd have done better to stick with something than to just keep switching around. People really don't plan ahead like they used to... :1377:
    Well, as someone who stuck with a major (well, graduate school) about 5 years longer than I should have, sometimes knowing when to call it quits and try something that can help you be happier is worth it. Had I only stuck around as an undergraduate another year before going to graduate school (most of my friends in college had another year after I left), I likely would have been in a position to make better choices later. Sticking with something's fine... if you like it. If you don't, not so much. The trick, of course, is knowing when you've given something a fair chance.

  7. #17
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    Wow... how can people be so indecisive? That's just awful. I mean, didn't you all realize you were making it harder on yourselves by changing paths? You'd have done better to stick with something than to just keep switching around. People really don't plan ahead like they used to... :1377:
    I wasn't really around anyone with a career growing up. I had no idea what it took to get by in life.

    I knew I wanted to get married and have a family and I put a decent amount of study into what to look for in a partner and how to build and maintain a good marriage. The second guy I dated was the right one, so we got married and I've stuck with him. It was a good decision and I'm still happy with it.

    I planned on having four to six kids by the time I was thirty. Had my fourth and last at 28 right on schedule. I love that we did it that way. My kids are all close enough in age to be something like friends. They will be grown before we are fifty. We will be young enough to help with and enjoy our grandchildren.

    I wanted a home of our own. We got that a year ago. It's a house we can retire in, although we may have to install a wheelchair ramp eventually.

    We're working toward making our retirement years as financially comfortable as possible. With the economy like it is there are no guarantees, but hopefully the political backlash will correct things enough to make it doable.

    I have no problem planning ahead, being decisive, and sticking things out when it's something important to me that I feel passionate about, but a job? Meh. Not so much.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #18
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I wasn't really around anyone with a career growing up. I had no idea what it took to get by in life.

    I knew I wanted to get married and have a family and I put a decent amount of study into what to look for in a partner and how to build and maintain a good marriage. The second guy I dated was the right one, so we got married and I've stuck with him. It was a good decision and I'm still happy with it.

    I planned on having four to six kids by the time I was thirty. Had my fourth and last at 28 right on schedule. I love that we did it that way. My kids are all close enough in age to be something like friends. They will be grown before we are fifty. We will be young enough to help with and enjoy our grandchildren.

    I wanted a home of our own. We got that a year ago. It's a house we can retire in, although we may have to install a wheelchair ramp eventually.

    We're working toward making our retirement years as financially comfortable as possible. With the economy like it is there are no guarantees, but hopefully the political backlash will correct things enough to make it doable.

    I have no problem planning ahead, being decisive, and sticking things out when it's something important to me that I feel passionate about, but a job? Meh. Not so much.
    I understand that... but I wasn't so much around another person who knew what it took, so much as I just wanted something a little more mental than physical. Raising children is a lot of work, and it can be fairly repetitive, stressful, and mind-numbing work. Still, It sounds like you wanted to be a typical wife, and headed straight for that goal in the best way you could. You did pretty well. You didn't take college seriously, because it was never part of what you wanted for yourself anyway, and that actually makes sense. Why work at something if it's not something you really want?

    I just think if you had wanted a particular career, you would have been more motivated, and would have been more focused. So I think in your case it was a lack of motivation rather than lack of ability. In other words, I think you were intelligent and diligent enough to do well in college.

  9. #19
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    It was never a question of intelligence. Of course she could choose whatever she wanted in college and succeed at it.

    I agree completely with Cafe. It's not so much that I don't have the ability or intelligence to succeed at whatever I choose as that I don't think a job is that important to overall happiness. A job is a job, and probably no job is going to be sunshine and roses. So I think it's less important that you cultivate a job than it is that you cultivate a happy homelife, friends and family, and hobbies and pastimes that you enjoy. It's the things going on outside of your job - the people you love and the things you do in your spare time - that make life worth living. So I'm not that motivated to find the perfect job or pick the perfect major. Besides, 70% of people with college degrees don't have jobs related to their major. So I figure I'll take the major that is most enjoyable for me, and see where I end up. At the end of the day, a cool job isn't my goal. My goal is to make my overall personal life enjoyable, and to have the friends and family and inner strength that support me when my career is rocky or going down the drain.

    By the way, raising children takes all of your resources and is probably 90% mental, 10% physical. You see perfectly able-bodied parents in their thirties doing nothing for their kids. There's a drug king and queen living down the street from my dad who don't know how to take care of their kids; physically they could, but they don't know how, because they're not mentally or psychologically strong enough.

    Raising kids... I just don't know how people do it. Kudos to you, Cafe.


    Anyway, back on topic. As an INFP, I'm not like this. She sounds like she's overall unhappy with herself and her life right now. She may be striving for an ideal, like others have mentioned. Have you looked into her enneagram type, by any chance? That might provide you with a lot of valuable insight into her motivations.

    I find that when I feel good, I just naturally make good decisions for myself, and that means that I can have the insight to plan, if need be, and to make tough calls (T and J). I think people may be focusing too much on MBTI theory here. People really are adaptable and can make good choices that seem to involve their "weaker" functions. For this INFP, maybe she just needs a boost of confidence and self-esteem. She seems to depend too much on outward circumstances to make her happy. I think to be happy in life you have to find something inside of you that sustains you when all else falls away, as it often does. Maybe she needs to be reminded that shit can happen and she can still be happy. In fact, shit will always be happening. She can be in pain and acknowledge it and still be happy.

  10. #20
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    This sounds like me. I've only changed my major once due to slight lack of interest and pressure the first time around. And I do hate the past and present, but only my past and present. I can definitely fall out of like with a situation and I am more likely to bail because of it. I'm trying to change that now.

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