[MBTI General] Fun = pure chaos?

[BerberElla]

I'm having a great time in my life right now, partying, making new friends, going out and doing stuff I've always wanted to do.

I was pretty introverted for the last few years, I wouldn't talk to anyone without a pc to block the personal part of it, no one aside from a few close friends.

Yet I felt like I was in control, I had a grip on my life because I shut the world out it was easier to maintain that control.

Now I feel like I am mired in chaos again, and I don't like it. I am tempted to just close the door again, to hide from the chaos until I regain control again because my choices in the face of fun couldn't be more idiotic at times.

I know if I don't stop swimming out there something really bad could happen, my financial choices recently have all been geared towards fun times, and I have to say I have shirked some major responsiblities in favour of the fun aspect, there is always a price in the end.

It goes like this:

"Berbs, fancy going notting hill carnival, we can hit the clubs saturday and sunday night, and get wasted through the day partying on the streets through sunday and monday"

me = *well I have saved up this money for a new vacuum cleaner, but you know what, screw that, let me go blow this wad of cash in 2 days flat, because that sounds like fun*



My isfj friend paces the fun she has, once in a blue moon she will consider her proper duties done, and maturely set aside some "fun money" .

The sensible, and yet boring way to do things, since she rarely goes out and that doesn't look like fun to me anymore.

Anybody else find that they only do chaotic fun, and not sensible fun?

I'm drowning here.

 

[BerberElla]

My examples could go on.

My house could be furnished quite nicely, I could buy a new bed, some bookshelves, a desk since this one is broken, but I don't.

I waste money on having a good time and deal with the consequences when I wake up hungover the next day wondering how I could be so stupid.

At least until the next time round, where I repeat the cycle.

My esfp friend is just as bad, she totally gets where I am coming from since she is all about instant fun too.

ExxP thing? immature thing right?

 

[lamp]

I do both . . . but the chaotic stuff is way more fun.

I absolutely relate to the introverted control / extroverted chaos. I am currently retreating after a period of chaos. I cannot wait for things to calm down a bit. I find it difficult to use Te unless I am in a quieter situation.

It is just like going on a trip: you pack and prepare everything, then on the trip things get dirty and break, and when you get home again it is nice to repair and reset everything.

I guess what I prefer to do is to collect myself and then go out and get torn apart.

 

[BlackCat]

I wouldn't say ExxP, just type 7 in enneagram. But I could be wrong.

 

[BerberElla]

I do both . . . but the chaotic stuff is way more fun.

I absolutely relate to the introverted control / extroverted chaos. I am currently retreating after a period of chaos. I cannot wait for things to calm down a bit. I find it difficult to use Te unless I am in a quieter situation.

It is just like going on a trip: you pack and prepare everything, then on the trip things get dirty and break, and when you get home again it is nice to repair and reset everything.

I guess what I prefer to do is to collect myself and then go out and get torn apart.

Yes absolutely, I need to use Te, I have told my friends I am shutting myself away for at least 4 weeks and it is because I want to Te up my life again.

I hadn't actually made that connection but it makes sense.

 

[BerberElla]

I wouldn't say ExxP, just type 7 in enneagram. But I could be wrong.

Could be, must admit I don't know all that much about the enneagram.

 

[Charmed Justice]

I can also relate to the whole retreating after periods of chaos thing.

But personally, I love chaotic "what's going to happen next??" type of fun.
Do you really want the nicely furnished house and all, or do you just think that as a "mature" person, you should?

 

[The Third Rider]

Having fun should be no issue, I still go out with friends and get wasted and what not. I too had a hard time with dealing with my money but it doesn't mean you have to shutout this new adventurous stage in your life. What you need to do is develop more self-control and start practicing this word: "NO". Have fun but it should not have to come at the expense of everything else in your life. You can do everything in moderation. My friends call me almost every weekend to hit the scene but sometimes I tell them I simply cannot go, or when I go I practice self-control to not throw away all of my money but still have a kickass time.

 

[BerberElla]

I can also relate to the whole retreating after periods of chaos thing.

But personally, I love chaotic "what's going to happen next??" type of fun.
Do you really want the nicely furnished house and all, or do you just think that as a "mature" person, you should?

Honestly it's a bit of both, I have kids, being mature in my choices is a must. The best I've done is that each of their bedrooms is perfectly finished, for the rest of the house, well I'm not exactly swimming in cash flow right now, so instead of being mature and saving to do my room, or to do the front room, I'm using my money on instant gratification and fun times.

Don't get me wrong, I am a live on the edge type of person in general anyway, I've heard of a pension, but thinking that far ahead? haha not likely.

But sometimes it feels too chaotic, like it's all going so fast, it changes so rapidly and I feel a bit afraid, and yet I dive in after a short break ready for more because what is life without a bit of chaos?

I make no sense even to me.

Having fun should be no issue, I still go out with friends and get wasted and what not. I too had a hard time with dealing with my money but it doesn't mean you have to shutout this new adventurous stage in your life. What you need to do is develop more self-control and start practicing this word: "NO". Have fun but it should not have to come at the expense of everything else in your life. You can do everything in moderation. My friends call me almost every weekend to hit the scene but sometimes I tell them I simply cannot go, or when I go I practice self-control to not throw away all of my money but still have a kickass time.

This is what I aim for, but I keep missing that massive round target again and again.

 

[Charmed Justice]

Honestly it's a bit of both, I have kids, being mature in my choices is a must. The best I've done is that each of their bedrooms is perfectly finished, for the rest of the house, well I'm not exactly swimming in cash flow right now, so instead of being mature and saving to do my room, or to do the front room, I'm using my money on instant gratification and fun times.

Don't get me wrong, I am a live on the edge type of person in general anyway, I've heard of a pension, but thinking that far ahead? haha not likely.

But sometimes it feels too chaotic, like it's all going so fast, it changes so rapidly and I feel a bit afraid, and yet I dive in after a short break ready for more because what is life without a bit of chaos?

I make no sense even to me.

I understand.

Try to use moments like these to prompt yourself to action. Like, right now, go to a financial advisor, or as soon as you get some money, buy something for your room. Sometimes I realize I think too much about things, and stay too much in my head, without actually doing anything about the situation. I know that if an issue continues to bother me for an extended period of time, that it's because it's time for me to take action on it. Indecision occasionally plaques me though.

 

[TickTock]

To use an analogy I read somewhere, it's like we are all a rider and an elephant and the elephant wants to do it's own thing, which is your fun chaos and the rider is you seeing that that isn't what you want as it's ruining your long term situation. The rider is trying to gain control and is Losing to the stronger will of the elephant, and it seems like the only way the rider has that works is to lock away the elephant, so as not to give the elephant the choice. By the way feel free to change the animal, I'm not calling you an elephant . Maybe a wild horse sounds better.

It's hard to control the wild animal when it gets a taste of fun and the dominant part of you is satisfied with short term gain and the long term gain isn't a persuasive enough argument in the face of it. Only you can find a way to control you. You just have to find a the right technique. Kind of like the horse whisperer. One doesn't have to dominant the other this only leads to chaos. The key is to find the balance so they share a harmony with each other.

 

[poppy]

The idea of pure chaos being fun just sends shivers up my spine, but I'm a pretty expressed J.

I think you should do whatever works for you, assuming you're prepared to live with the consequences (in this case, not having a super clean carpet ).

 

[lamp]

I was walking out of a taco shoppe today and absent-mindedly comparing my current physical condition and appearance with my appearance at the beginning of last night. Thought of this thread and began laughing.

 

[Lady_X]

yeah i have to try really hard not to spend my money on spur of the moment fun...i kinda like to surprise people close to me with things...it's hard not to....just today in fact almost did something sweet...but stupid.

was thinking about it too and decided i needed to open another account to use for this sort of thing.

 

[King sns]

My life tends to go in that cycle too..
Wild vs. Controlled
Wild vs. Controlled.

When i'm in control I miss the wild.
When I'm in the wild I miss the control.

But one thing I do find is that I don't really have a choice.
I'm either wild and out of control and having fun and having no concept of time or what's going on,
Or i'm super controlled. Every minute, every cent to the penny, every activity.
What gives? I can't find balance either.
Just enjoy it I spose.

 

[Rachelinpa]

I was so thinking this yesterday after my own wild weekend.

"Rach, you really should start being more responsible!"

I do chaotic fun only, really. I think it provides the most entertainment, most interesting experiences and the best stories. I think it goes along with my love of the strange... sensible is too normal... and boring. At the same time, chaotic fun sometimes leads to an $800 bar bill on a Thursday evening... ugh. This has me questioning how much I am paying for my "FUN" life experiences.

 

[Poki]

I have never tried to type my sister, but she is definatley E. We have always had the saying, telephone, television, and tele-nikki. She was one of the forms of mass communication. But when I was like 13 she used to hand me a huge chunk of her paycheck to hold onto so she didnt spend it. The other part she would hold onto and could spend as she wished. It was more of a way to limit impulses from me and her boyfriend(might as well be husband) since all she had to do was ask for it back no questions from me.

 

[Giggly]

Berbs, I scouff at the idea of the "right way" of doing things for everyone (and I'm an SJ!). I think it's your life so you should do what makes you happy! No regrets.