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  1. #1
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    Default Fe and how it works

    I have been really watching my wife(ENFJ) and how she interacts and I am really starting to understand Fe and what it is. Fe is the ability to drive emotions into others. If you hurt them they are experts at making you feel bad. Its like they drive feelings in you to try to make you want to do something, not always something for you, but to kinda light a fire under your ass. The things is that they go for feeling, but stop at that, there is no making it up to Fi or with Si. With my wife she goes for making me feel bad, but wont allow me to do anything to make it up, because she wants me to do what I want to do. Its like I just want you to feel this way about what you did, but I wants you to continue to do it anyway because thats what you wanted to do.

    Its like they blow up because of something but wont actually put there foot down and physically take control of a situation. Hopefully this does not offend any ENFJ/INFJ types. It is just what I have seen.

  2. #2
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Nothing like a little Fe-guilt trip. Although I'm sure they say the same thing about Ti-obstinance and nitpicking.

    Fortunately, my body doesn't absorb that particular wavelength of emotional appeal, so my energy level never leaves the ground state. Tee-hee.

    Obviously that's not all Fe does though, I'm sure you know that...

    *braces for another Fe-bashing fest*



  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    ... With my wife she goes for making me feel bad, but wont allow me to do anything to make it up, because she wants me to do what I want to do. Its like I just want you to feel this way about what you did, but I wants you to continue to do it anyway because thats what you wanted to do.
    That's nice that she does give you the freedom to do what you want anyway. I don't think it's a bad thing for her to make you aware of the emotional impact of your choices, although obviously there's a wide variety of how one might approach that... not all positive.

    Its like they blow up because of something but wont actually put there foot down and physically take control of a situation.
    You've obviously never dealt with an ESFJ.

    I don't think all this stuff is 100% Fe you're describing.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Nothing like a little Fe-guilt trip. Although I'm sure they say the same thing about Ti-obstinance and nitpicking.

    Fortunately, my body doesn't absorb that particular wavelength of emotional appeal, so my energy level never leaves the ground state. Tee-hee.

    Obviously that's not all Fe does though, I'm sure you know that...

    *braces for another Fe-bashing fest*
    Fe drives good and bad feelings. How exactly it accomplishes that is not strictly on Fe. My wife right now is working on getting a school supply drive setup at a church. What makes it worth it is when the kids show up she knows she is helping those kids. This year it was small and we picked up most of the tab. She scoured all the sales to get things from office depot, office max, etc for really cheap. 1 cent folders, 3 back packs for $5 etc. Making 50 million trips since there are limits on how many you can buy, taking as many people as will go so she can have each one stand in line buying the max amount. When everyone is tired the night of she keeps going to make sure every backpack has everything it needs. She checks, double checks and then runs through her head several times to make sure she didnt forget anything. Fe can be a very wonderful thing. When everyone has given up and tired, Fe keeps driving.

    I explained the other day how when this focus is on others she is always let down. It takes another Fe to have the drive that she puts forth and only ENFJs have this drive.

    I am not trying to start another bash, thanks for pointing this out so I could mention the good.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    That's nice that she does give you the freedom to do what you want anyway. I don't think it's a bad thing for her to make you aware of the emotional impact of your choices, although obviously there's a wide variety of how one might approach that... not all positive.
    Its kinda like stepping on my weaker Fe because she wont let me turn it around and make it better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    You've obviously never dealt with an ESFJ.

    I don't think all this stuff is 100% Fe you're describing.
    Maybe its the fact that I am close(my wife, lol) with the ENFJ. Its like Fe
    coming from both sides good and bad.

  6. #6
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post

    I don't think all this stuff is 100% Fe you're describing.
    Agreed. It sounds maladjusted.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  7. #7
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Hmmm...can't relate to this. I guess sometimes I make others feel bad, but that's never my intention. There's also a difference in Fe dom vs. Fe aux. vs. Fe tert, etc. I see Fe as the sharing and caring about others' feelings, whether good or bad. Fe types probably care the most about how others feel about them and are treating them. So what you've discussed could certainly result from Fe, but it's not the essence of it.

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    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    So tell us the essence of it. I'd love to hear from Fe-users how they experience Fe, how they apply it, how it is part of them, what makes you use it, why do you rely on it and how, what the depth of Fe is and how you experience that depth, how it makes you as a person feel to use it etc.
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  9. #9
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    So tell us the essence of it. I'd love to hear from Fe-users how they experience Fe, how they apply it, how it is part of them, what makes you use it, why do you rely on it and how, what the depth of Fe is and how you experience that depth, how it makes you as a person feel to use it etc.
    I listed my interpretation of it, as I experience it and as I can tell from other Fe types I know. That interpretation could be modified by simultaneous use of the other functions. But I'm feeling a bit lazy and tired to write a full analysis of Fe :P

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Hmmm...can't relate to this. I guess sometimes I make others feel bad, but that's never my intention. There's also a difference in Fe dom vs. Fe aux. vs. Fe tert, etc. I see Fe as the sharing and caring about others' feelings, whether good or bad. Fe types probably care the most about how others feel about them and are treating them. So what you've discussed could certainly result from Fe, but it's not the essence of it.
    So when internal feelings take over they feel like crap that they just blew up. I have had my wife get mad at me because she got onto me about something and she thought her getting onto me made her look like an ass to someone else.

    We have essence and then we have reality and actual use cases. you are not Fe dom so you dont retreat to Fe to remain in control. I retreat to Ti to remain in control since its my dominant function. I am sure ENFPs retreat to Ne to remain in control.

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