RE the temporal aspect of Fe: I agree with orangey about the temporal aspect of Fe now that she clarified. Sometimes I think when people start talking about this, if they identify with it, there's a false association with shallowness or superficiality. I don't deny that in most of my
casual interactions I can coast on that. It's like vodka and red bull for me, I enjoy it.
I don't extend that temporal feeling towards people that are close to me and that I care about. I make a distinction about the depth and quality of the relationship with people I get real with. That same shot that carried me through in casually isn't satisfying in a more intimate relationship.
i can try. i am an aux Fe and i'm still fairly new to mbti. i just focus on people. my focus is people and i notice their body language so i can tell how they are feeling. i subconsciously take in their inflection or tone to clue me in to how they might be feeling. what they say means something and i while i might forget or not hear details of what someone is saying, i am taking the essence of them in on a deeper level and just feeling them almost. i don't know why i use it. by now, i am used to how it feels. i align myself with the person i am speaking with, or interacting with, and i focus all of my energy on them. i can completely tune everything else out, and do. i notice nothing else. you have my complete attention, when i am at my norm or best, that is. it is very trustworthy for me, but sometimes i can use intuition too loosely and make false assumptions with Fe. i feel it very deeply. i use Te too (aux/tert) but it feels efficient and methodical and tiring.
This but add I have a general patience towards small talk.
I like "small talk" with another experienced Fe-user because it's not really small talk/chit chat at all, it's very much like superior volleying skills. I think most people are afraid of small talk because they don't know how to use it effectively to deepen bonds, they just think of it as talking about the weather and something to dread when getting in a elevator with another person. Using small talk as an example, when I'm Fe-ing I make the subject matter something general that everyone can talk about or join in on, which some people view as vapid. I mean think about the reasons you don't like small talk. I guess this is why I'm just over talking about Fe with people on the forum because the mechanisms through which Fe generally works are always bashed to bits.
I really think Fidelia had the simplest way of describing Fe. How do you make people feel comfortable? It seems like the same things that make people feel comfortable, i.e. small talk, also makes them feel uncomfortable. I mean take these phrases I use daily:
"So how are you today?"
"How was your weekend?"
"How do you feel?"
"I like your _______"
"You look great today!"
"Oh, don't worry about it, I think you did fine."
"What do you think about _______?"
"What are you doing this weekend?/Let's hang out"
"Are you OK?"
Notice how everything I wrote is basically a crowbar. Either you're receptive or you're not and if you're not I'm that annoying Fe-person who won't leave you alone. :hi: For me, Fe attempts to find commonalities between people to help us recognize our similarities and I need an in. My in is to be interested in other people.
i can manipulate with it, sometimes unintentionally. sometimes i can think i know better than someone what they need, especially someone not in tune with their feelings/emotions. then i can use Fe subtley to manipulate someone into a course of action. i didn't really know i did this until i thought about it after i discovered the Fe function and reading about it on here. i try not to do this anymore, but it can be almost a habit sometimes. not majorly, but in little ways.
Yeah this too.
