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  1. #1
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    Default living in residence

    i just moved in and i am finding it quite hard to keep up with all the socialites here, any tips

    i feel so sad for myself staying in my room, but i cant take all that interaction
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Are you really just a shy/insecure extravert? You seem to worry a lot about missing things while away from other people...I really don't think I'm missing out on anything when I'm alone. I much prefer my own company.

    But anyway, you could find a healthy balance. You don't have to keep socializing when you are drained; just call it a night when you feel extraverted-out. That's usually how I do it.

  3. #3
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Are you really just a shy extravert? You seem to worry a lot about missing things while away from other people...I really don't think I'm missing out on anything when I'm alone. I much prefer my own company.

    But anyway, you could find a healthy balance. You don't have to keep socializing when you are drained; just call it a night when you feel extraverted-out.
    I love my own company and do prefer it except to really close friends. But I have an idealized view of how sort of a perfect uni student should be, and it includes more socializing than im ready for
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whimsical View Post
    I love my own company and do prefer it except to really close friends. But I have an idealized view of how sort of a perfect uni student should be, and it includes more socializing than im ready for
    There's no ideal student. Those happy, outgoing people you see on the covers of catalogs and plastered on websites aren't the reality of it. There's a good mix of extraverts and introverts, so don't worry about living up to an ideal.

  5. #5
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    i hate the feeling of introversion being a dying breed
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Senior Member rainoneventide's Avatar
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    Man, I have the same exact problem. My roommate and a lot of people on my dorm's floor are very outgoing and friendly; they're like "ideal" students. As for me, I couldn't give a shit about most of the campus events and while I'm not unsociable, I enjoy, by far, being alone.

    Try not to beat yourself up for not fitting in. But if you honestly want to become more sociable, try taking it in little steps. That's really vague advise, but yeah.
    "So I say, live and let live. Thatís my motto. Live and let live.
    Anyone who canít go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker."
    - George Carlin

  7. #7
    Senior Member SciVo's Avatar
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    How about a paradigm shift? Instead of "how can I be the perfect uni student as me," try asking, "How can I be the perfect me as a uni student?" You can't just up and change your nature by force of will to accommodate an arbitrary ideal, so the former frame would cause a constant, unresolvable tension that would be a drag on your uni performance -- not to mention your happiness and self-esteem!
    INFP ~ Fi/Ne/Ni/Te ~ 9-2-4 sp/so

  8. #8
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    great question i should try asking myself that one time...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    I agree with the others on not trying to be the perfect college student. Even though the people who represent this ideal may seem to have more fun than you times most of these people are just as bored as everyone else. My more practical advice would be to have a smaller group of people to hang out with and become close friends. Not quite sure how to do that specifically as it happened to me without thought. Just hang out with people you do feel comfortable with when you want to and don't worry too much, not being social enough (in your opinion) now, can be fixed later in college.
    Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.

    Peach yogurt is made of love. And gnome kidneys. - Domino

    I can cope and will cope without polluting my lungs. - Saslou

  10. #10
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    If you want to find some people to hang out with you're obviously looking in the wrong places. Join a club that is based around an interest of yours or talk to some people in your classes and find some common ground. It's all about finding something to talk about really... if you just throw yourself into a random social group filled with people who's vibes you dislike then nothing will happen. But like I said, just find some common ground.

    Honestly I've just started college and all I have to do is start talking to people about the classes that they have, what their schedule is like, what their professors are like, what they are majoring in and why, what they do in their spare time etc. In my classes I'd find the guy or girl who looked like someone I'd want to talk to and be like "what's up?", and the conversations started from there.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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