[INFJ] Privacy issues with Facebook?

[MrRandom]

Does anyone have privacy issues with Facebook? And how do other INFJs relate to this?

I don't want to join Facebook until it gives me the option to hide my friends from my friends. Silly, huh? I'm a very private person. Whom I have befriended is nobody's business but mine. I think I'd like to be there for the sake of communication, though.

Perhaps I miss that feature, because there are no different levels of friendship in Facebook. Every person who adds you as a friend is simply a friend, no matter how strong your bond to that person is. I would like to show less personal information to acquintances, people from work and (distant) relatives. Not accepting friend invites is not an option, because people get really upset (and I'd have to deny 95% of them). Not putting any information in there seems pointless too; why be there if I'm not going to share anything?

I'm also gay and those acquintances / workmates / relatives are the ones who shouldn't necessarily know that about me (at least just like that). Of course I don't have to put up that information in there, but I'd have a very suspicious amount of openly gay friends... Anyway, this is only one of the many privacy issues I have with Facebook. Basically, I don't want most people to know much at all about me or what I'm currently doing.

Am I a control freak? Sure. But there are others like me... I hope...

Anyway, share your facebook drama here...

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Does anyone have privacy issues with Facebook? And how do other INFJs relate to this?

There's nothing much on my Facebook profile, and I haven't updated it in at least a year. I log on a few times a week and I have about 400+ friends, but some of them are on limited profile. Since there isn't much on my profile that I wouldn't tell the average person about, I don't have many issues with privacy. Sometimes I get annoyed when people constantly write on my wall or add me as a friend when I've ignored their friend request. But it's more that Facebook is just boring now. Too many features and activities everywhere.

Perhaps I miss that feature, because there are no different levels of friendship in Facebook. Every person who adds you as a friend is simply a friend, no matter how strong your bond to that person is. I would like to show less personal information to acquintances, people from work and (distant) relatives. Not accepting friend invites is not an option, because people get really upset (and I'd have to deny 95% of them). Not putting any information in there seems pointless too; why be there if I'm not going to share anything?

You can put certain friends on limited profile. And you can choose what appears on that profile so if you don't want your personal info showing, you can take that out. I took out my pictures and personal info for limited profile.

 

[proteanmix]

You know, my gay friend is torn over Facebook too. He doesn't want his non-gay friends to know about his gay friends so he doesn't friend any of his gay friends which really upsets people with questions of "are you ashamed of us?" which is legitimate I think.

I had the same problem with my directors and higher-ups at working sending me friend requests. I just ignore them and hopefully the haven't noticed because no one had brought it up with me.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I find facebook too "open" also. I still like myspace better because it's more anonymous and less about real life connections. I use a fake name on facebook, so only people I want to find me can find me. I also refuse to add relatives on it, despite how much my mom keeps hinting. I do have my sister on there, and I partly regret it, because she is always tagging me in (unflattering) photos and then gets mad when I reject them.

I actually view online social networking as a way to meet people online I wouldn't meet IRL, not as a way to keep in touch with real life friends/family (I have a phone and regular email for that).

 

[BlueScreen]

I had the same problem with my directors and higher-ups at working sending me friend requests. I just ignore them and hopefully the haven't noticed because no one had brought it up with me.

Yeh, unless you are close to your directors, it is pretty bad when directors, etc. add you. I know a few cases where they use it to snoop. In a way, it is sort of rude for them to send the request.

 

[The Ü™]

I've had real privacy issues with Facebook ever since my parents and other relatives got on it. My mother even tried to add me, which made me uncomfortable.

I have my Facebook completely private and removed from the search engine.

 

[SciVo]

I only register for social networking websites in order to do things like save a list of interesting bands (MySpace) or comment on someone's blog. I don't make any pages myself, since I'd really rather not be so visible and available. Clearly, their target audience is a different kind of person than me.

 

[Laurie]

I don't use my real name and I won't put any info on facebook I wouldn't want getting out. I also have two that help me keep crazy online people away from the crazy offline people.

 

[Wild horses]

Surprisingly for some (me being an ENFP) I have real privacy issues with facebook! I hate that someone could use it to 'keep tabs on me' and lets face it anyone can use it in this way even if you are not on there yourself... for example, say I go out to a party and press the self-destrcut button (quite possible) and want to completely walk away from it the next day.. I can't becuase someone has put pictures of me on their facebook account with my skirt around my waist being sick to "I believe in a thing called love"!
I HATE facebook!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[scantilyclad]

I don't have any privacy issues. I just don't post things that are too private...
I have family members on there, and it doesn't bother me, as i'd rather them write on my wall anytime, than to call me. Please don't call me.

 

[Sarcasticus]

Why not just hide the panel that shows your friends? You can do this in the privacy settings. Just change the setting so that no one can see it.

 

[nightning]

I don't have any problems with facebook... I have a very limited number of friends. Although I can see how it can be problematic with "oversharing".

They came up with a new privacy list system on FB that you might want to look into. Divide your friends/contacts into different lists and assign access privileges differently based on which list they belong into.

2 steps
1. Create lists in Friends page
2. Change privileges under privacy settings tab.

 

[runvardh]

I don't have any problems with facebook... I have a very limited number of friends. Although I can see how it can be problematic with "oversharing".

They came up with a new privacy list system on FB that you might want to look into. Divide your friends/contacts into different lists and assign access privileges differently based on which list they belong into.

2 steps
1. Create lists in Friends page
2. Change privileges under privacy settings tab.

Is that one of the things they added after our government chased them down? Can the friends see what group you put them in?

 

[rainoneventide]

I dunno, you'd probably be more comfortable not using Facebook if you're really paranoid. Seems like it would be stressful, otherwise. I just put everything on "friends only", and I don't write or put any stuff on there that I wouldn't want to share.

But yeah, I need to find a way to hide the friends panel thing... I feel like there's some tacit competition for people to befriend as many people as possible on there, and I don't like it. However, I'm sure my insecurities add a lot of bias to that thought, too.

 

[Charmed Justice]

I love Facebook, but I only add people I know offline(and have really been friends with at some point), or people I've talked to extensively online. I've have questioned rather or not I've want to post my political and religious beliefs after adding some people though. I understand your feeling. Some of my friends have one page for co-workers and associates, and another for close friends.

 

[SciVo]

Aha! That is what I shall do.

 

[Snow Turtle]

I'm rather cautious as well. But after a while I just think... does it really matter if they have this knowledge? Most people aren't in a position of power to use it over me. =/

 

[Wellspring]

Um, I am an INFJ and rather new to Facebook, but I enjoy it so far.

I am an extremely private peron, to the point of almost Paranoia. I have gone through unimaginable agonies before actually posting a photo of myself in my profile. However, my account is completely private, can't be found in search engines or even in Facebook unless I've added you as a friend first. And I have a very limited number of friends – only people I know and like.

I did add some colleagues, but I used the lists feature to have a page for 'friends' and another of 'coworkers'. Anything a bit personal (I don’t mean crazy photos – more like my strange musings on a song or a poem…) I will block from the coworkers view.

Real private things I don’t put on at all. I feel it will be a crazy thing to do, never mind how good the privacy definitions are. But as I am too much of a control freak and paranoid anyway, I feel Facebook is good for me. I am slowly learning to accept that I am not likely to come to any harm by letting a couple of people know that I went to a perfectly respectable concert yesterday, or that I am a fan of Roger Federer

 

[dani_elle]

I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends who might be overseas, etc. and so on. Also its pretty handy way to get photos.

That being said, I don't write anything I worry about others knowing, I don't go all emo on Facebook and I don't allow strangers to view my profile.

 

[bluebell]

I just put everything on "friends only", and I don't write or put any stuff on there that I wouldn't want to share.

Yep, that's how I use it. I have a few colleagues on mine (who I also know outside of work) and a mix of RL and online friends. Apart from my friends list and a few impersonal photos, mine is pretty bare and bland.

I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends who might be overseas, etc. and so on.

This too. Probably only half of my friends on Facebook actually live in my city at the moment.

Edit: Oops, just realised this is in the NF forum. nm.