For those of you who followed my original thread/dilemma here and were wondering how it's been going, I've created a new thread to follow up.
I decided to ignore/treat this ENFP in the same way I treat the rest of my coworkers since ENFP had made it non-verbally clear that he is no longer romantically interested. He actually finally ceases ALL flirtation with me, perhaps due to my ignoring him. It seems something in his conscience was bothering about the situation, because one day at work, he asks me "Are we okay?". So I respond in the most non-chalant manner "YEAH, why? did you think i was angry at you?" And he says, "yeah, i was acting like a blah blah". Good, so he gets his closure in the most (in my opinion) pathetic and non-confrontational way.
Anyhow, I just wanted him to realize that I'm NOT drooling for him or on his tail, and that I'm fine if he's not interested. But here's the kicker...
I remember at a company picnic a long time ago, before the dates, while he was trying to get me to go out with him, a coworker asked him about a girl IN MY PRESENCE, and he completely denied being in a relationship: "nah she's not my girlfriend, she's just a friend." And the coworker suspiciously replied, 'suure'. He emphasized his 'single-ness' while I was around. Fine, I take his word for it.
So after all this time, and now that we're just back to amicable coworkers, I hear through the grapevine in the office that he does indeed have a gf, but it's unsure how serious the relationship is. Which means he had a gf the whole time he was going out with me and kissing me. She lives a few hours away, which I realize is why he always goes to that city once/twice a month. And this is why he never liked to call our dates "dates" claiming that word was TOO SERIOUS. Pieces finally coming together...
I almost contacted her directly to confirm she really was his gf as I was able to find her contact info, but I held back, because I was an emotional and irrational mess after finding out.
I've been so conflicted about confronting him on this, because of the time that's passed already. However, the ANGER that I feel consumes me. I'm not the type of person who holds things in. I confront and MOVE ON. HONESTY is something that I value beyond anything else. Being a NO BS type of person I expect the same in return. I feel like he's taken me for an idiot and I don't want him to think he got away with it. I dont care if she's a friend with benefits/f-buddy, I still think I deserved to know up front. I dont know if that's how it works, but sleeping with someone and going around kissing other girls just doesn't jive with MY values.
If I confront him, I would just want to let him know that it's ok if he was not interested in me, I'm not upset about that, but lying to me and deceiving me was just plain wrong and hurtful. Not only unfair to me, but unfair to his gf. He will probably deny having a gf, but my blinds are off now. I can see through the BS. My gut/intuition always warned me. How stupid of me to ignore. No wonder I never let my guard down with him.
I've continued to treat him amicably/casual at work regardless of the latter.
To confront or not to confront? Is it worth it at this point? How would you go about it?
Should I contact the GF to confirm if it's true?
He leaves the country on vacation in a week for a whole month, so it would be my last opportunity before he returns from his trip.
ENFP's and their DAMN GGS syndrome. Screw that...