Generally speaking, if one--anyone, not just in this case--wants to continue the relationship, you confront with an open-handed "here's where I'm at, where are you at?" If one doesn't want to continue the relation but has to because of, say, working *closely* together, you confront with a view to laying down ground rules. If, on the other hand, the relationship is over, you get out, get clear, remove yourself from the toxic cloud that dying feeling leaves behind.
You're angry, and this is a little bit were you're screwed, because you're almost never going to beat an ENFP at wriggling around an issue. They just do have the strength indeed the interest for endlessly bullshitting, skipping around an issue and trying to move it their way. And right when you're about to skewer them, they'll just skip off and play with someone else.
Perhaps the thing to observe is, a lot of it is an act. We actually do destabilise them as much as they destablise us. But their sheilds are happy and smiley where ours are terse and hard, so from the outside it looks like they get away with it while we sit around being Mister Frowny Pants.
Thus, you admit you're still hot for him, even if it's just angry hot, and be disappointed at how he can't internalise the opportunity to try out something deeper than he's used to, or you say fuckit and say goodbye.
It still always takes two people working together to make something work, and they both have to choose. This guy spoiled his choice. I don't know if that's something you can confront someone about. I figure you are allowed to say things like, "Meh, don't talk to me, you made me feel bad and I don't want to know anymore" but not only is that a blame statement, it's not good confrontation material either.
Oh, the irony of INTJs giving INTJs relationship advice, but it's either that or have to listen to the Fs knowing better than we do.