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  1. #31
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Interesting...so far all the F's say DON'T CONFRONT and all the T's say CONFRONT!
    I don't think the Fs understand how compelling what you bolded in my post is. It's a completely different starting point.

    I wouldn't involve the girl, though. Cool your (out)rage on the guy.

  2. #32
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I say confront, but I'm not a model F citizen either...

    I'm sure you could do it with out making it emotionally charged; then again that could scare him more. Hmmm...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #33
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    He didn't describe his girlfriend as a girlfriend because he wanted to leave his options open in case you were available and were a better choice than his current. He likely describes her as "a girlfriend" and as "nobody special," depending upon the circumstances or who he's talking to. His categorizations aren't going to be strict and he's not going to make a definite stand unless he's very serious about her.
    This makes complete sense.

  4. #34
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i don't see a thing wrong with telling him what's goin on in your head...doesn't sound like his reaction is all that important anyway...you just want him to know how you feel about it...so go ahead...but...the idea of talking to the girl seems like unnecessary drama.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #35
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i don't see a thing wrong with telling him what's goin on in your head...doesn't sound like his reaction is all that important anyway...you just want him to know how you feel about it...so go ahead...but...the idea of talking to the girl seems like unnecessary drama.
    Yeah, I'm not confronting the girl. The idea was to anonymously contact the girl to get solid proof. Other than that I didn't really care. But I thought about it some more and decided against it.

  6. #36
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah...so just tell him.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #37
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    Confront, or at least bring some of the issues up.



    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    one day at work, he asks me "Are we okay?". So I respond in the most non-chalant manner "YEAH, why? did you think i was angry at you?" And he says, "yeah, i was acting like a blah blah". Good, so he gets his closure in the most (in my opinion) pathetic and non-confrontational way.
    I do not understand your reaction here. Is this a continuation of ignoring him?

  8. #38
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lamp View Post
    I do not understand your reaction here. Is this a continuation of ignoring him?
    Yes, or you could call it treating him in a 'you're-not-special-anymore' way. I wanted it to be clear that I didn't give a rats tail about the fact that he was no longer interested and that I WAS NOT still hung up on him...whether it was true or not! ha

  9. #39
    Senior Member SciVo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Yes, or you could call it treating him in a 'you're-not-special-anymore' way. I wanted it to be clear that I didn't give a rats tail about the fact that he was no longer interested and that I WAS NOT still hung up on him...whether it was true or not! ha
    See, that kind of thing is what makes me concerned that you've abstracted the relationship beyond any real connection into something conceptual, inauthentic and not very healthy. But don't mind me, I'm just an F.
    INFP ~ Fi/Ne/Ni/Te ~ 9-2-4 sp/so

  10. #40
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    You might as well have said, in the most non-chalant manner "No"

    And I do not think that gave him any closure; he has probably started developing his own closure internally since you started ignoring him. But don't mind me, I'm just drunk.

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