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  1. #1
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    Default INFJ crazy attraction to Sensors

    So I am an INFJ, and most of my close friends are either NF or NT. I enjoy these types' society most. However, when we come to romantic territory things get a bit complicated.

    I just have this inexplicable physical attraction to 'sensing' people – mainly SJ's. I don’t even have to like the guy very much, but all the same my body reacts as if it has recognized a soul mate. Fireworks, butterflies in stomach, blood rush. You name it. (Not of course with every sensor – that would be hard seeing that most people are that…but my greatest crushes are always sensors.)

    This is very frustrating because, from my experience, relationships with these guys don’t tend to work out well – let's face it, the communication style is frequently the kind you can expect between an earth dweller and a Martian. There are brief flare-ups, falling head over heels, but it can never last. And I usually know it from the beginning. Because, as I said, it's not like we have deep friendship and intense discussions before the falling-for-him part – my body just takes command and make my brain shut up. Sometimes, even we are totally over, my body still gives me signals when I see the previous crush.

    The worrying thing is that, except for one ENTP, I never felt great physical chemistry with NEs – I love them, cherish them, befriend them, admire them – but physical attraction is hard. On the other hand, the sensors are bad news for me.

    The reason I think it's related to my being an INFJ is that our inferior function is SE. Can it be that I somehow try to compensate for that by linking myself romantically to one with sensing preference? A case of trying to find somebody 'to complete me'? (Ugh, I so hate this terminology…)

    Any impute will be welcome.

  2. #2
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wellspring View Post
    The reason I think it's related to my being an INFJ is that our inferior function is SE. Can it be that I somehow try to compensate for that by linking myself romantically to one with sensing preference? A case of trying to find somebody 'to complete me'? (Ugh, I so hate this terminology…)
    Well, are you also attracted to SPs? Because they are the types that use Se as their main perception function, not SJs, who use Si.

    The worrying thing is that, except for one ENTP, I never felt great physical chemistry with NEs – I love them, cherish them, befriend them, admire them – but physical attraction is hard. On the other hand, the sensors are bad news for me.
    NPs excite my mind first. Physical attraction usually follows afterwards.

    To answer the main question, I've been physically attracted to and dated ISxPs in the past. They are very sexy, I'll give you that.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    I think alot of NFs experience this.. it is crazy and asyou say it seems particularly aimed at SJs more than the other S types
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  4. #4
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wellspring View Post
    So I am an INFJ, and most of my close friends are either NF or NT. I enjoy these types' society most. However, when we come to romantic territory things get a bit complicated.

    I just have this inexplicable physical attraction to 'sensing' people – mainly SJ's. I don’t even have to like the guy very much, but all the same my body reacts as if it has recognized a soul mate. Fireworks, butterflies in stomach, blood rush. You name it. (Not of course with every sensor – that would be hard seeing that most people are that…but my greatest crushes are always sensors.)

    This is very frustrating because, from my experience, relationships with these guys don’t tend to work out well – let's face it, the communication style is frequently the kind you can expect between an earth dweller and a Martian. There are brief flare-ups, falling head over heels, but it can never last. And I usually know it from the beginning. Because, as I said, it's not like we have deep friendship and intense discussions before the falling-for-him part – my body just takes command and make my brain shut up. Sometimes, even we are totally over, my body still gives me signals when I see the previous crush.

    The worrying thing is that, except for one ENTP, I never felt great physical chemistry with NEs – I love them, cherish them, befriend them, admire them – but physical attraction is hard. On the other hand, the sensors are bad news for me.

    The reason I think it's related to my being an INFJ is that our inferior function is SE. Can it be that I somehow try to compensate for that by linking myself romantically to one with sensing preference? A case of trying to find somebody 'to complete me'? (Ugh, I so hate this terminology…)

    Any impute will be welcome.
    well, if it were strictly an Se fetish you would predominantly find yourself attracted to estps (the really bad boys). are you mainly attracted to introverts? i think it's interesting to figure out the function you like to see most in other guys. Si? Se? Ti? Fi?

    for me it's Ti/Se. and it's introverted guys usually, but not always. there is an entj that i find appealing and that i've always had 'energy' with. honestly, the more i get to know him, the less i am attracted to him though. it seems to be the opposite for istps. the more i get to know them, the harder i want to dig to know them, and on and on, deeper and deeper. i find them to be an enigma that drives me on. same with estps. i'm initially pretty attracted to their Se, but their ego and incessant talking...well, it's not for me.
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    Thanks for the replies!

    Lauren: I know that about Se for SP, Si for SJ. That's why I specified sensors and not Se people. It's just that I usually fall for J's - possibly because I don't come across a lot of SP's. And it's definitely the extrovert ones who wreak havoc with me. Coming to think of it, introvert sensors are more likely to have a crush *on me* than vice versa. So yeah, the culprits tend to be ESXJs :-)

  6. #6
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wellspring View Post
    Lauren: I know that about Se for SP, Si for SJ. That's why I specified sensors and not Se people. It's just that I usually fall for J's - possibly because I don't come across a lot of SP's. And it's definitely the extrovert ones who wreak havoc with me. Coming to think of it, introvert sensors are more likely to have a crush *on me* than vice versa. So yeah, the culprits tend to be ESXJs :-)
    Ah. Well, I can't relate. Not attracted to ESxJs. I don't think this is related to your type; it's probably an individual thing.

  7. #7
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I don't have a lot to add except that I noticed a long time ago that a high proportion of INFJ female friends of mine seemed to date a preponderance of SP guys... It was extreme enough to catch my attention and make me take note.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I have much more of a geek fettish and I like the rumpled, distracted Columbo thing and have a near instant aversion to men who have a tendency to direct others. So no SJ fettish here.

    OTH, I have a strong need to feel secure. The thing for ESJs could be a different expression of a need for security because they have a thing for stability, etc. Could it be something like that?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  9. #9
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I have much more of a geek fettish and I like the rumpled, distracted Columbo thing and have a near instant aversion to men who have a tendency to direct others. So no SJ fettish here.
    Same. Geeks float my boat. NTP ftw?

  10. #10
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Same. Geeks float my boat. NTP ftw?
    Oh yeah.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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