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View Poll Results: How sexually faithful are you when in an relationship

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  • ENFJ - Always faithful

    5 7.35%
  • ENFJ - Occationally been unfaithful

    0 0%
  • ENFJ - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFJ - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFP - Always faithful

    13 19.12%
  • ENFP - Occationally been unfaithful

    6 8.82%
  • ENFP- Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFP - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Always faithful

    24 35.29%
  • INFJ - Occationally been unfaithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • INFP - Always faithful

    16 23.53%
  • INFP - Occationally been unfaithful

    4 5.88%
  • INFP - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • INFP - Never faithful

    0 0%
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Thread: xNFx fidelity

  1. #41
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I remember I was so let down by ENFPs when there was another 'cheating' thread and apparently ENFPs have a 50/50 chance of cheating. I think it really depends on the ENFPs relationship to Fi.

    Fi can be a double edged sword in this case. Either the ENFP has an internal value system which says, "Cheating is NO NO NO!" Or else Fi says, "Do what feels good and right"
    I agree. It's all about values for ENFP's. And not common values but their own.

    For me it's the absolutely NOOOO because my way of thinking is "How would I feel if my spouse would cheat on me?" And as the aswer is "Very bad" I think that I don't want to hurt somebody that I love so much. And thus the answer is simple for me in this case. And the values support the reasoning in my case.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Actually the only NF I know who cheated had a similar experience. An INFJ too (so much for INFJs cheating less). Sorry dude, in my book - that is cheating. If the other person hasn't been informed, it's cheating. You're still in the relationship until the other person has been informed otherwise. This is a slippery slope - for example, how long after you've started seeing the new person would it be okay to tell the not-yet-ex? Couldn't anyone then use this excuse of - well, it was really over for me but I hadn't told you yet? It sounds like this could easily be exploited for trying out something else while still hanging on to what is. It doesn't matter whether it was over in one's mind or not, it's about being honest and fair to the other person.

    In most cases, this happens because the person who decides to cheat is too much of a coward to tell the not-yet-ex that it's over.

    I definitely see it as a choice and a question of personal integrity. There are some things you just don't do to another human being, no matter how strong the temptation. This is one of them.
    My definition of cheating involves actively deceiving someone by lieing or omission that your in a monogamous relationship with them. I don't consider the "you meet someone at a party and decide to start a relationship with them and dump your current SO" cheating so long as your not actively deceiving, because you notify them as soon as possible. If you don't notify your SO as soon as possible, yes its cheating. Hair splitting, I know, but cheating in my book requires deception about what is going on. There is no deception here, so there is no cheating. It would be cheating (and unethical) to start a relationship with someone else and not notify your SO asap. But is there a difference between a text message saying I'm dumping you at 10pm and one at 12pm? Not really. Yet under your definition one would make you a cheater and one wouldn't. Intent matters more then the exact timing. (Note, dumping via text message is lame. I'd rather wait and be considered a cheater under your definition and tell someone at least over the phone then do that. )

    Edit: Lets be honest. We all know exactly when someone is cheating and when someone just hasn't notified their SO they are dumping them yet. In 99% of cases its the former. I'll use a I'll know it when I see it type test here.

  3. #43
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    If I'm in love with you, it's nothing short of a catastrophic bonding that would dissolve me should I act in a vile or betraying manner. The very idea of cheating is repellent, though cheating seems to indicate that one is NOT in love.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #44
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnDoe View Post
    My definition of cheating involves actively deceiving someone by lieing or omission that your in a monogamous relationship with them. I don't consider the "you meet someone at a party and decide to start a relationship with them and dump your current SO" cheating so long as your not actively deceiving, because you notify them as soon as possible. If you don't notify your SO as soon as possible, yes its cheating. Hair splitting, I know, but cheating in my book requires deception about what is going on. There is no deception here, so there is no cheating. It would be cheating (and unethical) to start a relationship with someone else and not notify your SO asap. But is there a difference between a text message saying I'm dumping you at 10pm and one at 12pm? Not really. Yet under your definition one would make you a cheater and one wouldn't. Intent matters more then the exact timing. (Note, dumping via text message is lame. I'd rather wait and be considered a cheater under your definition and tell someone at least over the phone then do that. )

    Edit: Lets be honest. We all know exactly when someone is cheating and when someone just hasn't notified their SO they are dumping them yet. In 99% of cases its the former. I'll use a I'll know it when I see it type test here.
    If my husband went to a bar, met a woman, slept with her, then came home and said oh, btw, I met someone I like better than you and I'm filing for divorce, I would definitely consider that cheating.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    If my husband went to a bar, met a woman, slept with her, then came home and said oh, btw, I met someone I like better than you and I'm filing for divorce, I would definitely consider that cheating.
    If I called you right before I slept with her and told you I wanted a divorce would that be any better?

  6. #46
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i might have an odd view on this..but to me being in love should be this beautifully intimate all encompassing mutual feeling of passion, love and trust and...it just would never happen on either end....if that feeling were gone..it would most likely be over anyway so rather or not someone was unfaithful is beside the point.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    If my husband went to a bar, met a woman, slept with her, then came home and said oh, btw, I met someone I like better than you and I'm filing for divorce, I would definitely consider that cheating.
    Quote Originally Posted by JohnDoe View Post
    If I called you right before I slept with her and told you I wanted a divorce would that be any better?
    For that matter--and anyone can answer--is it cheating if the two haven't yet filed for divorce?

    I'm pretty sure that's still considered adultery under most laws, but, oddly enough, it might be an instance of adultery that isn't also considered cheating.

  8. #48
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i might have an odd view on this..but to me being in love should be this beautifully intimate all encompassing mutual feeling of passion, love and trust and...it just would never happen on either end....if that feeling were gone..it would most likely be over anyway so rather or not someone was unfaithful is beside the point.

    So basically, that the feelings of mutual passion, love, and trust would prevent "the couple" from cheating? And that if cheating occurs, then the relationship has already become lifeless?

  9. #49
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnDoe View Post
    If I called you right before I slept with her and told you I wanted a divorce would that be any better?
    Mildly, but it's still really crappy and I'd be calling around asking for the meanest, man-hating lawyer in town and trashing all your stuff while you were sleeping with her.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #50
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    So basically, that the feelings of mutual passion, love, and trust would prevent "the couple" from cheating? And that if cheating occurs, then the relationship has already become lifeless?
    i just don't think people cheat when they're committed so if they do then they weren't anyway...and to me that...that feeling of disconnect is the reason the relationship is over...the cheating was just a side effect.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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