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View Poll Results: How sexually faithful are you when in an relationship

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  • ENFJ - Always faithful

    5 7.35%
  • ENFJ - Occationally been unfaithful

    0 0%
  • ENFJ - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFJ - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFP - Always faithful

    13 19.12%
  • ENFP - Occationally been unfaithful

    6 8.82%
  • ENFP- Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFP - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Always faithful

    24 35.29%
  • INFJ - Occationally been unfaithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • INFP - Always faithful

    16 23.53%
  • INFP - Occationally been unfaithful

    4 5.88%
  • INFP - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • INFP - Never faithful

    0 0%
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Thread: xNFx fidelity

  1. #31
    Charting a course
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faine View Post
    Ouch.

    I suppose you could say that falling for someone is something that 'just happens', but actually acting upon it is something that seems like a choice to me. I don't know, maybe it's different for different people, but to me it just seems like those who claim it was out of their control are trying to avoid blame or guilt.
    Damn straight....

  2. #32
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnDoe View Post
    I've never cheated by any definition. But what I wanted to exclude was the following case:

    Meet someone, start a relationship with them (while intending to break up with the person your currently in a relationship with at the next feasible opportunity), and end the relationship with the person you were seeing at the soonest possible opportunity. I don't consider that cheating because I don't believe that you have to have someone else's permission/have delivered the message to be considered broken up. So I really just wanted to exclude a (quite rare) case where you meet someone and you immediately know that your dating the wrong person. Excluding that case (or even including it), I think INFJ's would cheat statistically significantly less then most others.
    Actually the only NF I know who cheated had a similar experience. An INFJ too (so much for INFJs cheating less). Sorry dude, in my book - that is cheating. If the other person hasn't been informed, it's cheating. You're still in the relationship until the other person has been informed otherwise. This is a slippery slope - for example, how long after you've started seeing the new person would it be okay to tell the not-yet-ex? Couldn't anyone then use this excuse of - well, it was really over for me but I hadn't told you yet? It sounds like this could easily be exploited for trying out something else while still hanging on to what is. It doesn't matter whether it was over in one's mind or not, it's about being honest and fair to the other person.

    In most cases, this happens because the person who decides to cheat is too much of a coward to tell the not-yet-ex that it's over.

    I definitely see it as a choice and a question of personal integrity. There are some things you just don't do to another human being, no matter how strong the temptation. This is one of them.

  3. #33
    HUZZAH! Bougal's Avatar
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    I know an ENFJ snake that just left her husband of 24 years for another man she has been having an affair with. She can't even come close to doing better than her husband.


    Ne > Ni > Ti > Fi > Te> Fe > Se > Si

  4. #34
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnDoe View Post
    I've never cheated by any definition. But what I wanted to exclude was the following case:

    Meet someone, start a relationship with them (while intending to break up with the person your currently in a relationship with at the next feasible opportunity), and end the relationship with the person you were seeing at the soonest possible opportunity. I don't consider that cheating because I don't believe that you have to have someone else's permission/have delivered the message to be considered broken up.
    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    If the other person hasn't been informed, it's cheating. You're still in the relationship until the other person has been informed otherwise.
    Lol, yeah I totally missed that part. In what world is it not cheating to begin a new relationship while you are already in one? Just end one relationship before beginning another. It's really rather simple.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    This is another case where the term 'faithful' needs to be clearly defined... man, if masturbation can be classed as cheating by some we need to get this thing nailed down!
    ... couldn't drag me away

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  6. #36
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    This is another case where the term 'faithful' needs to be clearly defined... man, if masturbation can be classed as cheating by some we need to get this thing nailed down!
    Just ignore Syn. You know, he's not human and all.

  7. #37
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Really?

    I think this is conflating two different issues - both could potentially involve dissatisfaction with the current relationship.

    Infidelity necessarily involves a third person and the problem is dishonesty.

    I have trouble seeing self-love as unfaithfulness. It could be part of a perfectly healthy relationship. It could also be a sign that things aren't working out for one person. Either way - it doesn't imply infidelity.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    I really struggle seeing self-love as unfaithfulness too... don't oprah and dr. phil say you can't really anyone to love you until you love yourself... or something like that
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
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    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  9. #39
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    I remember I was so let down by ENFPs when there was another 'cheating' thread and apparently ENFPs have a 50/50 chance of cheating. I think it really depends on the ENFPs relationship to Fi.

    Fi can be a double edged sword in this case. Either the ENFP has an internal value system which says, "Cheating is NO NO NO!" Or else Fi says, "Do what feels good and right"

    I said it in the NT Fidelity thread, but I think ENXPs are soooo good at rationalizing and making excuses and basically pretending to engage people in 'real discourse' but basically digging their heels in and arguing their point until blue in the face.

    I try not to be judgemental of cheaters, but I know how intense and loyal I get to people and I know the sting first hand of infidelity. It is fucking CRUSHING.

    Being such a "sensitive" and "Fi intense" person, it's just really hard for me to reconcile the fact that some people know how much hurt they are causing others by cheating but do it anyways - especially habitually.

    I've decided that the next person who cheats on me will get their car "mysteriously trashed". Oh, you think I'm kidding but I'm not. I'll consider it "karma" and we'll be even.

    I've also realized that some people are just prone to cheating. It's like being an alcoholic - you may never touch another drop of liquor for the rest of your life but you will always be alcoholic.

    I also know that sometimes people slip up and they reform and feel truly sorry. And things end "happy ever after" or as much as it will. So in my mind I do make that distinction. But when I think "cheater" it means "habitual cheater"
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  10. #40
    Senior Member SciVo's Avatar
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    CzeCze, I heard something once that had the resonance of a deep truth: unless a cheater wants to end a relationship, they will never give a coherent explanation of "Why?!?" because the answer in their heart is always "I deserved it, biatch."
    INFP ~ Fi/Ne/Ni/Te ~ 9-2-4 sp/so

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