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View Poll Results: How sexually faithful are you when in an relationship

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  • ENFJ - Always faithful

    5 7.35%
  • ENFJ - Occationally been unfaithful

    0 0%
  • ENFJ - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFJ - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFP - Always faithful

    13 19.12%
  • ENFP - Occationally been unfaithful

    6 8.82%
  • ENFP- Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • ENFP - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Always faithful

    24 35.29%
  • INFJ - Occationally been unfaithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • INFJ - Never faithful

    0 0%
  • INFP - Always faithful

    16 23.53%
  • INFP - Occationally been unfaithful

    4 5.88%
  • INFP - Rarely faithful

    0 0%
  • INFP - Never faithful

    0 0%
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Thread: xNFx fidelity

  1. #21
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Couldn't say "always faithful" because I did cheat once on a LD boyfriend by kissing another guy. I do consider kissing cheating, so I voted "occasionally unfaithful", although I think that option is a gross exaggeration of my reality.

    In my adult life, I have never cheated but don't place the act of cheating any higher up on my morality scale than say, lying in general, or repetitively breaking laws, or cussing me because you're angry.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Lol, I didn't realize "casual" cheating was excluded from the poll.
    I've never cheated by any definition. But what I wanted to exclude was the following case:

    Meet someone, start a relationship with them (while intending to break up with the person your currently in a relationship with at the next feasible opportunity), and end the relationship with the person you were seeing at the soonest possible opportunity. I don't consider that cheating because I don't believe that you have to have someone else's permission/have delivered the message to be considered broken up. So I really just wanted to exclude a (quite rare) case where you meet someone and you immediately know that your dating the wrong person. Excluding that case (or even including it), I think INFJ's would cheat statistically significantly less then most others.

  3. #23
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I haven't ever cheated. I can't imagine doing so. However, there have been times when I felt . . . under-appreciated, etc and began to find myself attracted to others. I think that that kind of thing will happen from time to time in the course of a long relationship and it is not a signal that you should end your current relationship, but rather an indication that you need to put more attention/communication into the relationship or at least be aware that it's a vulnerable time.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #24
    Member Faine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnDoe View Post
    I think INFJ's would cheat statistically significantly less then most others.
    I don't think it is a good idea to try and say that one type would be more or less likely to cheat than another. Values, morals, feelings and thoughts aside, there are an infinite number of paths life can take and differing circumstances can change the way one might normally react to a situation. No doubt there are cheaters for every type, INFJs included. I understand where you are coming from because as INFJs we do seem to have a deep-rooted sense of loyalty once someone places their trust in us, but I just don't feel it's wise to make broad assumptions based on type.
    INFJ 9w1.

  5. #25
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faine View Post
    I don't think it is a good idea to try and say that one type would be more or less likely to cheat than another. Values, morals, feelings and thoughts aside, there are an infinite number of paths life can take and differing circumstances can change the way one might normally react to a situation. No doubt there are cheaters for every type, INFJs included. I understand where you are coming from because as INFJs we do seem to have a deep-rooted sense of loyalty once someone places their trust in us, but I just don't feel it's wise to make assumptions based on type.
    I agree with this sentiment.

    EDIT: Although the trend in the polls of Ne-doms being "occasionally unfaithful" or "rarely faithful," a bit more than the other N types, is in accordance with my experiences of these types.

  6. #26
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    I can only speak for myself in that I've never cheated. I was in a position where I almost broke up with my ex-husband before we were married, but even then I just didn't "see" other guys in that way. When I'm in a relationship, I'm IN it, if I'm having problems with my mate I'm thinking about how to solve them between the two of us, not looking to find something 'better'. I guess I always think that something 'better' could be in the future for my mate and I if we work at it.

    My ex cheated on me, he didn't have all that much to say for himself save "I didn't plan for this to happen, it's just the way it happened" and all of that. I could rant up and down about 'right' and 'wrong' but it just seems to be this polarized outlook on things. I think some people (like my ex) see cheating as something that just HAPPENS and can't be controlled, whereas others see it as a clear conscious choice.
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  7. #27
    Member secondhandsight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloriana View Post
    When I'm in a relationship, I'm IN it, if I'm having problems with my mate I'm thinking about how to solve them between the two of us, not looking to find something 'better'.
    This is exactly it for me. Discomfort/vague unhappiness
    is a cue to try to engineer a better relationship. Only
    when all reasonable (which for your average INFJer, probably
    = prolonged and extensive) efforts have been made by
    both sides (usually despite Ni insistence that it can't work
    anyway), vague becomes very pointed, and a previously
    very closed mind to other peoples' attributes is suddenly
    free to wander, i.e. by the time this happens there is
    no going back.

  8. #28
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I said I would start this parallel poll when I posted in the 'NT Fidelity' thread but I was hoping someone else would because the thought of making all those boxes.... Good looking out Tink!

    I have never cheated physically with someone and I've had the opportunity to be the 'other woman' 2x and refused 2x.

    Even the concept of 'feeling unappreciated or unhappy' and therfore turning to another for solace is foreign to me. When I'm frustrated with a situation or person, my focus on 'us' merely intensifies. I'm in it to win it. I'd leave (or wait for the person to dump me first) before cheating.

    I also don't enter into pacts I know I don't want to keep. It's either monogamous dating or dating where we are both free to see other people.

    I am also very cognizant of the concept of emotional cheating.

    There is a lot of human weakness that I identify with cheating and while I exemplify certain aspects of human shortcomings (over others), not when it comes to romantic fidelity.

    There have been some other threads on cheating that I've comented in and I think my sentiments remain the same. Don't be selfish, don't be weak, don't hurt someone in ways you yourself would not want to be hurt or hurt someone because you can't understand what it feels like.

    Having seen more cheating in my life, I think sometimes cheating IS just a 'one time thing' or an anomaly and something that can be worked on and resolved if the cheater really wants to resolve it. But usually it is a habit or a symptom of a chronic issue. And I truly believe that some people are just prone to cheating, period. I'm not going to extrapolate this into type, just thinking about the people I have seen in life who are guilty of cheating.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloriana View Post
    I can only speak for myself in that I've never cheated.

    My ex cheated on me, he didn't have all that much to say for himself save "I didn't plan for this to happen, it's just the way it happened" and all of that.
    HOLY SH... !!

    That's exactly what my ex wife called to tell me. She wanted a divorce, and was seeing someone else. While I was out of state looking for a job.


  10. #30
    Member Faine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    HOLY SH... !!

    That's exactly what my ex wife called to tell me. She wanted a divorce, and was seeing someone else. While I was out of state looking for a job.

    Ouch.

    I suppose you could say that falling for someone is something that 'just happens', but actually acting upon it is something that seems like a choice to me. I don't know, maybe it's different for different people, but to me it just seems like those who claim it was out of their control are trying to avoid blame or guilt.
    INFJ 9w1.

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