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[MBTI General] ESFP..with INFJ tendencies??

totallypsycho

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
17
MBTI Type
ESxP
Hi everyone. I would post this in whats my type but this forum seems more active lol.

so um I used to be an INFJ when i was little and somehow ive evolved into an ESFP :hi: its pretty surprising given that these 2 types are pretty dissimilar. haha. but sometimes i question my type because i still have a lot of INFJ tendencies that I dont think ever completely disappeared.

I would like to think I have a wide circle of casual friends(ESFP), but there are only a few close ones that I trust completely(INFJ). Id also like to think i can make casual friends with just about anyone, but I definitely believe trust and friendship is something that needs to be earned and not just handed out like halloween candy(unlike some of my ESFP friends)

I can definitely still hold grudges with the best of the INFJs if I find that you have wronged me in a way. but I can never hold them against friends. I dont know if this is an ESFP thing or not.

and I have a lot of perfectionist tendencies when it comes to certain things like driving cars and gaming. Of course, a lot of the time I say "screw it" I just regress back into ESFP slacker mode. all or nothing baby. lol

and of course i hate conflict :) like they both do. haha

thoughts/comments people?? sorry in advance for the shameless self absorbed post. haha
 

MFJAGgernaut-B

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
74
MBTI Type
INFP
My thoughts?

As an INFJ myself, I know I would not be able to live as an ESFP, even as an alter-ego. Every second I spent trying to be loud and rambunctious like an ESFP would be an hour spent in hell's basement. Not to mention I'd fail miserably at it.

INFJs are too quiet and ESFPs are too loud for any kind of crossover between the two to occur. If you're getting overlap between the two, it probably means you're mistyped. You're better off going to What's My Type.
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,446
MBTI Type
ESTP
Hey!

My coworker (Meseri here) is an INFJ but he often acts crazy and spontaneous like an ESFP might though he's not nearly as smooth as one.

I was typed as an INFP several years ago but I've come to learn that either I've changed into an ESTP or I always was one (or at least an SP) that just tapped into the Idealist (NF) brain for awhile. Looking at pictures of myself as a kid, I was a wild little hooligan always tearing shit up and was always seen as an artist and it took me awhile to really get used to deep topics. I've always had alot of wanderlust and seen life as a fun adventure.

I'm definitely an ESTP but what I was for awhile before is still kind of a mystery, so I totally relate. :thinking:

At any rate, it's REALLY nice to have another ESXP here! LET'S BE FRANDZ!!!1 :cheese:

:rock:
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Hey!

My coworker (Meseri here) is an INFJ but he often acts crazy and spontaneous like an ESFP might though he's not nearly as smooth as one.

I was typed as an INFP several years ago but I've come to learn that either I've changed into an ESTP or I always was one (or at least an SP) that just tapped into the Idealist (NF) brain for awhile. Looking at pictures of myself as a kid, I was a wild little hooligan always tearing shit up and was always seen as an artist and it took me awhile to really get used to deep topics. I've always had alot of wanderlust and seen life as a fun adventure.

I'm definitely an ESTP but what I was for awhile before is still kind of a mystery, so I totally relate. :thinking:

At any rate, it's REALLY nice to have another ESXP here! LET'S BE FRANDZ!!!1 :cheese:

:rock:


well, my infp son was my only hyperactive kid and is completely messy, naughty (will get away with whatever he can and never, ever remembers the rules), breaks things all the time, and lives in his imagination (which i think of as his 'art,' as he will eventually write it all down--be a writer--, i suspect). but estp he is not.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Are you sure he's an INFP? What makes you think that?

haha. well, can't go into it all right now. but he's def an introvert. he's def and N. he's def a P. and i think F. he's weird and imaginative, and listens to his own internal framework that doesn't really jive with anyone else's (Fi?) doesn't that equal infp? :)
 

totallypsycho

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
17
MBTI Type
ESxP
i am pretty sure i type as ESFP. i totally need stuff like instant gratification and i do all the typical esfp things like dress up, seek thrills, and crave attention(see why i created this thread. LOL)

im pretty sure im not infp or enfj tho because i dont think they hold grudges as much as infj amongst other things(and if there is one thing that separates me from the typical esfp, its definitely this. ahhaa). please do correct me if im wrong (this is the nf forum right? lol)

and i like how this thread totally stayed on topic.
 

SciVo

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
244
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
924
im pretty sure im not infp or enfj tho because i dont think they hold grudges as much as infj amongst other things(and if there is one thing that separates me from the typical esfp, its definitely this. ahhaa). please do correct me if im wrong

I can't speak for every INFP, but I'm incapable of holding grudges in the conventional sense. Even if I get mad enough at someone to blow my top, I'll wake up the next day totally over it and expect them to feel the same way.

If I come to a determination that someone is untrustworthy (or even dangerous) based on my extrapolation from their observed behavior, then I'll be guarded and cautious around them for the rest of my life. But even after being personally betrayed, my empathy keeps me from hating them -- I might wish them out of my life, but I won't wish them unhappy -- so I don't think that's what's normally meant by "holding grudges."
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
im pretty sure im not infp or enfj tho because i dont think they hold grudges as much as infj amongst other things(and if there is one thing that separates me from the typical esfp, its definitely this. ahhaa). please do correct me if im wrong (this is the nf forum right? lol)
All INFJ do not hold grudges. Some do, but people of all types hold grudges. It is a misunderstanding on the part of the other types as to the motivation and reasoning behind the "door slam," to believe that INFJs hold grudges more often. See this recent thread for more details.

and i like how this thread totally stayed on topic.

Yes, savor that. It doesn't happen often 'round these parts. ;)

To the original post: I'd like to hear more of your reasoning behind thinking you were once an INFJ. None of the explanations you've provided so far are any reason to believe you were an INFJ. Being discriminating in choice of friends and having perfectionist tendencies are qualities that many people, of all types, can relate to.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I would like to think I have a wide circle of casual friends(ESFP), but there are only a few close ones that I trust completely(INFJ). Id also like to think i can make casual friends with just about anyone, but I definitely believe trust and friendship is something that needs to be earned and not just handed out like halloween candy(unlike some of my ESFP friends)

I can definitely still hold grudges with the best of the INFJs if I find that you have wronged me in a way. but I can never hold them against friends. I dont know if this is an ESFP thing or not.

and I have a lot of perfectionist tendencies when it comes to certain things like driving cars and gaming. Of course, a lot of the time I say "screw it" I just regress back into ESFP slacker mode. all or nothing baby. lol

and of course i hate conflict :) like they both do. haha

thoughts/comments people?? sorry in advance for the shameless self absorbed post. haha


All of this sounds like Fi, which is your second function. None of this is inherently INFJ.

I personally don't believe people change types. I think they test the wrong type at first for a variety of reasons, such as taking a poorly written test, not knowing themselves very well yet, or answering how they'd like to be rather than how they are.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I was a wild little hooligan always tearing shit up and was always seen as an artist and it took me awhile to really get used to deep topics. I've always had alot of wanderlust and seen life as a fun adventure.

All of this sounds pretty SP to me...
 

totallypsycho

New member
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
17
MBTI Type
ESxP
All INFJ do not hold grudges. Some do, but people of all types hold grudges. It is a misunderstanding on the part of the other types as to the motivation and reasoning behind the "door slam," to believe that INFJs hold grudges more often. See this recent thread for more details.



Yes, savor that. It doesn't happen often 'round these parts. ;)

To the original post: I'd like to hear more of your reasoning behind thinking you were once an INFJ. None of the explanations you've provided so far are any reason to believe you were an INFJ. Being discriminating in choice of friends and having perfectionist tendencies are qualities that many people, of all types, can relate to.


I -> E - When I was little I was very much in my own little world. like i used to dislike interacting with people and i gained very little energy from it. Now, I get cabin fever whenever i don't talk with people for even 2-3 hrs. at a time. I also throw parties a lot ;)

N -> S - Used to always trust my gut feeling and could go off on tangents for hours at a time. Or i was just blissfully unaware of my environment. I was constantly told by my ESFJ mom to "get real" and "snap out of it". Now I am always super aware of my surroundings, and I absolutely cannot understand or folllow anything abstract or theoretical. Unfortunately, i also now have a taste for material things that can not be satiated. help me someone!

J -> P - I used to cry whenever I got a B on a test. Nowadays, a B on a test would probably still make me cry. Only with tears of joy instead. Kidding. but only kind of. Also I used to always want to control/manipulate other people also but nowadays i could care less.

I guess this sums it up: when I was little my favorite place was the library. Nowadays, its probably the mall. ahaha
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
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4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I -> E - When I was little I was very much in my own little world. like i used to dislike interacting with people and i gained very little energy from it. Now, I get cabin fever whenever i don't talk with people for even 2-3 hrs. at a time. I also throw parties a lot ;)

N -> S - Used to always trust my gut feeling and could go off on tangents for hours at a time. Or i was just blissfully unaware of my environment. I was constantly told by my ESFJ mom to "get real" and "snap out of it". Now I am always super aware of my surroundings, and I absolutely cannot understand or folllow anything abstract or theoretical. Unfortunately, i also now have a taste for material things that can not be satiated. help me someone!

J -> P - I used to cry whenever I got a B on a test. Nowadays, a B on a test would probably still make me cry. Only with tears of joy instead. Kidding. but only kind of. Also I used to always want to control/manipulate other people also but nowadays i could care less.

I guess this sums it up: when I was little my favorite place was the library. Nowadays, its probably the mall. ahaha

The bolded: LOL.

The above it still not proof of INFJ. Younger people are always more imaginative, and plenty of people are shy when younger.

But anyway, since I don't believe that personality type "changes," I'm not going to believe you were ever INFJ. So this discussion is somewhat pointless. Forget I asked. :)
 

INTJ123

HAHHAHHAH!
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
777
MBTI Type
ESFP
The bolded: LOL.

The above it still not proof of INFJ. Younger people are always more imaginative, and plenty of people are shy when younger.

But anyway, since I don't believe that personality type "changes," I'm not going to believe you were ever INFJ. So this discussion is somewhat pointless. Forget I asked. :)

I know personality type can change or should I say grow, It's usually just the balancing act, you'll probably see as you get older, we don't lose our old selves, we just keep adding to it.
 

SciVo

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
244
MBTI Type
INFP
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924
I believe that the expression of a type can change with the environment -- like if you're programming computers, you'll become more T, because whatever you think and do changes you -- and that maybe the type itself can change with a trauma to the worldview.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
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INFJ
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4
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sx/sp
I know personality type can change or should I say grow, It's usually just the balancing act, you'll probably see as you get older, we don't lose our old selves, we just keep adding to it.

Got proof?
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
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Messages
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Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I believe that the expression of a type can change with the environment -- like if you're programming computers, you'll become more T, because whatever you think and do changes you -- and that maybe the type itself can change with a trauma to the worldview.


well, i agree with lauren ashley, and i think it is also, ummm, meyers briggs? that said to get to the heart of your own type you have to remember how you were as a child? meaning that type doesn't change, but that life might enhance different aspects of your personality. i personally find it more explantory to think in terms of functions, since there are 8, and that the arrangement of functions and their various strengths in us makes for different variations within types.

my dude is an istp. i never woulda guessed it because he's a programmer and dad and is very reliable and dependable (haha), tolerates planning, and can be judgmental. so i thought, and he tested J many times. he is also pretty intuitive. but upon further reflection, especially taking into consideration how he was in childhood, before life stressors and responsibilities took hold, he is definitely istp by nature. he hasn't changed into an ixtj. he just has developed more aspects of ixtj as needed. if he were left on his own, to his own devices, without repsonsibilities his very istp nature would manifest itself again. like in buying a motorcycle, staying up late, going out more with his buddies, not caring about house rules; you know, istp stuff. :D

to the op: my bff is, i suspect, an esfp. i am interested to hear more about how you guys are irl. i even started a thread about it recently, but only got one response from jeffster. i knew from the beginning we were an unlikely friend match, but she pursued me relentlessly. it has always been a slightly annoying relationship for me, but at this point she is like a sister nonetheless. but i know now she just needs more sp friends, because i cannot run off to concerts with her and go out and party until we are both wasted. she sees planning anything with me as doing me a 'favor.' haha. i really don't get that. like gracing me with her company is doing me a favor. i can't plan anything with her, yet she definitely has an agenda--she likes people to think she's super laid-back but she has this agenda in her head that is unbendable. i am, as a fairly strong J, more laid-back than she is! yet, she appears to be spontaneous as long as what comes up is about her or her own personal fun. i am there for her all the time, but she is rarely around for me because she's got herself so bound up in FUN stuff, booked months out. does this sound esfp?
 

MFJAGgernaut-B

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
74
MBTI Type
INFP
Your type does not switch tracks between childhood and adulthood the way the OP says theirs did. You add to it during adolescence, and it rounds itself out.

A child with INxJ tendencies will mature into either an INFJ or an INTJ. They will not skip tracks and jump onto the ESxP wagon midway through puberty, then come out an ESFP or an ESTP.

Now, if the person were an ENxP child and came out ENFP, he would likely develop the flip-flop spontaneity the OP described.
 
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